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I remember when I used to be a blogger



I remember when I used to be a blogger, rather than a guy who occasionally updates web pages.

It was a long time ago, wasn't it?

I can't even find a good way to graph my blogging frequency anymore. I know it used to be daily, and then several weekly, and then once in a while. Lately, it's more like almost never.

Sometime in 08, I think it was, than the slide started; from there, it just seems like little by little I've given up.

I don't mean on blogging - whatever. I mean on writing.

The last think I wrote that wasn't just about an experience was two, maybe three years ago, aside from a couple of abortive tries and collaboration on erotica. The last thing I finished was a year or more before that.

I'm so rusty, my fingers don't even remember how to type anymore (it took me three tries to get the work 'type' correct). My hands ache when I try, more from disuse than from anything else. The muscles have forgotten what its' like to type more than the hundred or so lines I need to update a wiki page or type out a report.

I don't even remember how I used to do this; I try to remember writing Wanton, and while I remember the feeling, I can't figure out how I actually did it.

I started this blog - back in the dim, distant past in blog-years - with the express intent of using it to improve my writing. That never worked; or to be more specific, it got me writing something i hadn't before (introspective essays), but didn't help me with fiction - because it was a distraction.

Now, though? now, I'm lucky if I manage enough attention span to tweet one thing or to update my facebook status.

I was going to say I don't know what it is, but that's not true. I know what it is, I just don't know what to do about it.

I've been in a sate of have to do something for so long now, I can't quite my brain long enough to put words together with anything like flow.

This was bad enough, just with the ordinary stuff. Work - making the Greatest Smart Phone Ever (and the best tablet you've ever seen and didn't even know you needed) isn't just a full time job; it's a lifestyle. We're a seven day a week shop, and my area is to be the glue that keeps the 24 hrs per day stuff (the compute farm) going. So I'm working even when I'm not working, always aware that nothing holds this together but me. I dream compute farms and CAD tool licenses at night. And then, there's the part about being the father of two teenager girls, which isn't ever an easy job, even for very low needs children. Then there's the rental house, my own house, and all the rest. Life has caught up with me in ways I didn't quite anticipate; being The Dad to not just two, but four women (including my mother in law) takes it's toll.

But now - well, that's a whole 'nother entry about Mental Health Issues. But that's another entry, if I ever get to it.

But the bottom line is, finding even half an hour to gather myself and write, these days, is more than I can manage.

I need it. I need to put words to my feelings, to tell stories. And I fucking can't.

I don't see an end to this, I truly don't. I know it has one - I just can't imagine how or where or when.

And my best tool has deserted me again.

It's epic. It's detailed. It's devastating. And it's hilarious



There are way too many sites talking about this, really, and I kind of hate to put sex-toy retailer and all-round bullshit artists Eden Fantasies MORE into the spotlight.

But you know, this shit's just too good.

If you're not following, Bacchus at ErosBlog gives a great summary.

Even better is the post that stirred all this, over at MayMay's blog, Maybe Maimed.

To quote Bacchus, "It's epic. It's detailed. It's devastating. And it's hilarious".

The shortest summary I can come up with is that Eden Fantasies have been building a vast link farm with a 'link exchange' program ("if you link to my blog I'll link to yours"), but has been using technical slight-of-hand to obscure outgoing links. The upshot is that they appear to be networked from everywhere in the sex-bloging universe, while showing absolutely no links of any kind out. The details are brilliant if you can wrap your head around it (see MayMay's post, above).

The bottom line - covered here, there and everywhere by the above two gentlemen-and-scholars, as well by AAG and others - is that Eden have proven themselves to be pretty thorough scumbags numerous times, in numerous ways. If you want to take a stand, I suggest you read and forward some of those links. At very least, it's a good object lesson in how sneaky business practices can't be hidden for long.

I have to suggest, though, that if you have anything to do with Eden, you get the hell out of there. They're a slow-motion train wreck, and everyone I know who's been involved with something there has been burned in one way or another.

time lord victorious

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My friend Kyle just started a blog. He gets extra props for an excellent title.

He's short of readers. Go give him some lovin'.

blog like no one's reading



I was helping out a friend of mine the other night - a blogger who's stopped blogging but wants to start again (i'll leave the question of exactly who that is open, in case he doesn't actually get so far as starting).

While working on importing his entries into a current movable type install, I remembered how much a miss doing this; not just the blogging, but the tools and support stuff - the technology itself.

I enjoy problem solving, and for some reason I have a particular gift for it. If I were a medical doctor, I'd be the hack and slash guy doing battlefield surgery, or I'd be doctor house solving the mystery while not really getting all that involved with the people (and gobbling all the vicodin I could get my hands on). This is why I've wound up doing what I do at work. I'm not a programmer (though I can program), not a hardware engineer (though I work in hardware engineering). What I do, when I'm at my best, is to delve into why something broke, what made it break, and how to un-break it as quickly as possible. It's a combination of pattern recognition skills, memory for trivia (I remember why we made some choice eight years ago, and what wraps what where, and why), and the ability to step back and look at the whole system, not just the micro-point that broke.

I'm not, however, your guy for long range planning. I'm an improviser. I'm Ornette Coleman, not Gil Evans. I wouldn't write symphonies, and I'd never play it the same way twice. I cook the same way; when I write down a recipe of mine, every line contains an implied 'or whatever'.

That's why I like this sort of work; I can help solve one specific problem, for one specific person, tuning and customizing to need. A can find the tools to solve something and make them work in ways they're maybe not intended to work. And that? That's just fun.

The trouble I have, of course, is that I suffer from a lack of attention span. That I'm significantly ADHD should not come as a surprise to anyone who's ever had lunch or dinner with me; I'm visibly thinking three different things most of the time, and I can't really sit still without fidgeting for more than 15 minutes unless I have something useful to do with my hands. I have both the classic short attention span and lack of attention to detail, and the occasional hyper-focus state that lets me drill into something intensively to the exclusion of everything else.

The trouble, obviously, is that there's no known on switch for hyper-focus. We can't shout 'engage!' and have it come on like jump. It comes, unfortunately, when it comes; and task switching on a constant basis seems to make it all the harder.

Working with Movable Type more the last few days has reminded me of how much I miss the days when we were all blogging with a frenzy; when we'd all sit at some social function and think this would be great in my blog. I knew that my words would be read and commented on my people all over the globe, and in some cases, I'd inspire my friends to write on similar themes (or they'd inspire me, in those classic 'started as a comment in someone's blog' posts). There was a wild energy in the loose community of bloggers; like a party where people came and went but the music didn't stop.

What I miss isn't just my own easy productivity; what I miss is that community dialog.

big five - the wood anniversary



Five years.

1,175 entries.


Three ISP's, a half dozen servers, several crashes.

It's been a bit of a ride, huh?

Five years ago yesterday I started blogging. You can read about that here or here or here or here.

And each yeah it seems like I have less to say about it.

This last year has been a fucked up ride. If you're reading you know a bit about it. If you haven't been, feel free to. It's been a terrible year for me creatively; I've written fuck-all, and I'm not seeing that get better yet. Blogging has fallen victim to all this, but so has every other form of self-expression I have.

Here's to a change in all that.

To all you bloggers out there, write something. Come up for air now and then. Facebook and twitter and myspace ain't enough.

For me - I have more to say; I don't know why I'm having so much trouble saying it.

Meanwhile, tonight I go look at a sketch for my backpiece, and tomorrow I pick up my thruxton. Speed and pain, baby.

crested wave



Does it ever seem like somehow, without anyone planning it, blogging just sort of ended?

I look over the list of blogs I generally follow (almost to a one they're friends blogs, though some only after I began to follow as a reader), and on by one, they're quitting, going on extended hiatus, moving, or just sort or dying of attrition.

Is it just my circle? Have we just sort of all spent our wad, as it were, all at the same time? Or is it everywhere?

Maybe a wave just crested; to mis-quote Hunter S Thompson, maybe we're at that place where the wave finally brakes and rolls back.

Or maybe we're just all too busy; we've built a debt of wasted time and now we need to pay, working harder for all the time we spent blogging about the work were were not getting done.

I'm not sure what it is; but it seems to be going on everywhere.

Maybe it's that we're so over-saturated with outlet. Facebook, myspace, meebo, bebo, flickr, fetlife; twitter and jaiku and plurk and pownce, orkut and friendster, okcupid, adult-freind-finder, livejournal, and a hundred more college boys are hacking up now.

We have so many places to talk about ourselves, that no one can ever find each other; and when we do, who can read it all?

Or maybe it's me; maybe I'm just tired of reading and not writing. Because, egotist that I am, I cannot read a blog when comments are off, cannot browse a forum unless I'm signed on to post. Maybe my own failure of output deadens my desire for input.

Yet, still, I see blogs ending all around me, writers closing doors vocally or silently. It means something, even if I'm not sure what.

What's interesting, though, is that I suddenly feel motivated to create. And I know, this time, exactly why. Several friends from other sites have, lately, happened upon my fiction; and their interest, their feedback, sparks my desire, sparks my writer's voice. I remember why i did this.

I've never been that kind of artist who creates for the act of creation, then destroys of gives away. I've never been the un-signed artist who leaves beauty scattered behind. I create, simply, because it feels so very good to give that gift to someone. It is, almost exactly, like the engendering orgasm; that moment of power, control. I am, completely and utterly, in control of your pleasure and pain, and I see/feel/hear it.

It isn't simply the joy of creation; it's the joy on control, the joy on causing joy.

I like to think, given the tools, and the solitude, I would create. Mountain top, or dungeon cell, or lonely island, I would create to create. But in truth I wouldn't. I'd do what I've been doing the last two years; I'd start, and then I'd start again, and then I'd start again, and never finish. Creating for no one is masturbation with no orgasm, it's cooking food no one will eat.

Art should be for arts sake, we like to say, but I cannot find my creativity there. I find it in my audience.

My hope - and it may be in vain, because time is never on my side these days - is that an audience of only one, may be enough.

Who knows, though. Maybe flood-gates will open, not just for me but for all of us. Maybe we just need something to write about.

Search Word Poetry



It's funny, I'm suddenly seeing a resurgence it hits in my logs, on "survivor am naked", which I think we can all agree is a worthy sight.

Now, these never really went away; they'd turn up monthly or so, proving that america loves a naked,fake-breasted lesbian, no matter how long she's been gone from reality teevee. But when it was announced that she'd be in the currently-running Survivor: Fans vs Faves, the hit count went up, and is still going up.

Which is ok by me, even though I never actually posted the above-mentioned titty shots of Miss Survivor Ami.

But this brings us to the topic of Search Word Poetry (or as originally coined, Googl-oetry, though I don't like that term, being that it can be from any search engine, not only google).

The idea's simple; dig out the search-strings that brought readers to your blog from whatever logs and meters you may choose (urchin, sitemeter, whatever).

Use those phrases to create your own poetry.


tell me more about the devil, who is he? catholic ron paul? polish guy and catholic in a boat joke? phone numbers to recorded preachers? bitch phone number? pastor melissa scott sex life?


Aphrodite's Greatest Failure:
How sexuality is viewed across religions,
Catholic churches view on premarital
Religions who allow sexuality.
Most men are by nature perverted -
The result of secret sin.
     --the chaplain

weird photos of naked girls
let's see some women with nice asses that like sex
girls fuck with fruits
     --greta christina

gay crack head
subbing for algebra with kids that won't be quiet
i hate texas

Now, I wish to hell I was more a poet and could do what these lovely citizens have done. Because god knows I get some good search terms:

tentacle rape
soccerboy rape
butch daddy erotica
daddy fuck me harder
my neighbor sucked my balls her mouth
girls doing a snowball blowjob
best busty chocolate blow jobs
extrem big woman trampling
shoes kiss trample video
awk machine gun
how to roast a pig cinder block
chicken and pig, breakfast
roasting pig in virginia
i have a crush on adam duritz
question cross ring womens indian larry
perfect, lamar thought. just incest and old men with young girls fucking porn perfect
ass fucken sex
fuck me hard art
squid fuck
fucking tarzan
air stewardess fucked
spicy labia fucking images
tuna skroodle
sex skunked
naked taiko drummers
local loop call bugging beeping noise
virgin digital exercise your music muscle
titanic engine size
licked the scotch off her tits
she moaned car tits thrust show
jessi combs belly tattoo
jessi combs thong picture
pussy tattoos
moomin tattoo
what movies do maggie gyllenhaal get naked in
bars over eyes
starch and iodine leaks threw the bag results
my hand slid under her dress
hand in her panties
drenched panties
silky panties photos women pubic hairs
picked up her panties and stuffed them in her mouth as a gag

But you know, I just can't seem to make it all turn into poetry.

So two things:

1) go do your own and post it
2) if you get inspired by any of the above, post your result in my comments

Because someone has to make art out of all this, even if it isn't me.

Sad Songs of Server Troubles

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You may have noticed we're having some server instability around here; comments disabled for various moronosphere-hosted blogs, server not responding, etc.

For those of you I host, you'll have seen it as well when you try to post.

We're working on it. We have several small problems that are adding up to a systemic pain-in-the-ass, and solving these issues has more to do with bandwidth (ours, ie, time to work on it) than with any seriousness of the problems.

Fixes should be in place soon, though we may have some downtime somewhere in the next week or two while we update things. I'll post warnings before that happens.

Nerd Handbook



Rands In Repose has written a frighteningly, hysterically accurate piece called The Nerd Handbook.

"Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer. It’s clichéd, but a nerd is defined by his computer, and you need to understand why.

First, a majority of the folks on the planet either have no idea how a computer works or they look at it and think “it’s magic”. Nerds know how a computer works. They intimately know how a computer works. When you ask a nerd, “When I click this, it takes awhile for the thing to show up. Do you know what’s wrong?” they know what’s wrong. A nerd has a mental model of the hardware and the software in his head. While the rest of the world sees magic, your nerd knows how the magic works, he knows the magic is a long series of ones and zeros moving across your screen with impressive speed, and he knows how to make those bits move faster.

The nerd has based his career, maybe his life, on the computer, and as we’ll see, this intimate relationship has altered his view of the world. He sees the world as a system which, given enough time and effort, is completely knowable. This is a fragile illusion that your nerd has adopted, but it’s a pleasant one that gets your nerd through the day."

Read the whole thing. If you're reading this blog, you almost certainly are that nerd, or live with that nerd, or have at least dated that nerd. You know exactly what Rand is talking about.

(Thanks to my dear, sweet Merrick for sending that to me!)

Pretty Dumb Interviews



One of my favorite bloggers, and one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, Chelsea Girl (of Pretty Dumb Things) was recently interviewed by Susie Bright.

The interview is fabulous and could have gone on twice as long - click here to listen.

Turns out, in addition to being brilliant, she also has an incredibly sexy voice. The kind of voice I'd pay to hear whisper my name, if you get what I'm sayin.

straight 8



Ok, i got tagged on this one (lifts shirt to show indecipherable spray-paint marking).

I don't usually respond to the tag kinda meme (nor dares neither), but a meme that came from susie bright, in which she tagged two of my very favorite girl-sex-bloggers (bitchy and chelsea) is simply hard to say no to.

Or maybe it's just that BJ and CG are both impossible to say no to.

In any case, here are the rules:

1. Post these rules before you present the facts.
2. Start with eight random facts/habits about yourself.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

But the game seems to have taken on '6. ...and then change the rules'.

So I'm gonna flip CG's meme and give you seven true, and one not. See if you can pick the one.

1) My feet are different sizes; really different sizes. I care just barely wear a pair of shoes, and one's always too big or two small.

2) I once got a blowjob from one of the bridemaids at a wedding, while her husband was inside drinking shots with my friends.

3) I have a half sister I didn't know about until I was in my 20s. I kind of wish I'd met her without knowing who she was so - well, you can finish that story for yourself.

4) Despite the fact that I don't smoke pot, I still own a bong that is made up of roughly eight feet of plexiglass tubing and five feet of rubber hose.

5) I've bought drinks for Todd Rundgren, talked about tropical fish with Tom Waits, and almost saw Heather Locklear get pantsed by her daughter.

6) I once fucked a teenage girl in a catholic church.

7) The first time I got high it was weed I'd stolen from my parents.

8) I have a hunk of cat claw embedded in my left cheek.

Have fun. I won't tag anyone else but if you steal, steal well.

disruption is my way of life



Due to an unexpected schedule change, The Moronosphere and all it's related blogs and domains will be moving to a new physical server this week. Not the best timing for me, personally but I live here by the good grace and generosity of my friend Brandon, and so I am grateful even if a bit frazzled.

What all this means is that this site may unexpectedly vanish for a day or so while we change ip addresses; comments may cease to work while databases are moved.

If that happens, don't worry; being a fly-by-night sort of operation, we're flying-by-night (oh god stop me from quoting a rush song). Things should stabilize by next week, on bigger, better, faster hardware.

Movable Type 4 beta2



EDIT: The error below was my fault, i fucked up the install. On a second try I got it right.

They've fixed quite a few bugs, which is good, though the interface problem remains un-addressed. So it is progress, if not in the interface.

Six-Apart have released a new beta (beta 2) - which doesn't work at all, won't even load (click the image below to see a beautiful error message):


They did admit there are some issues with the completely bolloxed up interface; they 'solved' this by combing two obscure pulldowns into one obscure pulldown, while not seeming to see the core problem of hiding all the frequent tasks behind pulldowns and page loads.

[sarcasm] and there was much rejoicing[/sarcasm]

They really don't get it; but at least i finally got noticed and responded to by the people at Six Apart. They're not stupid, so the question is only, will they get what they did wrong or will they keep trying to band-aid a death-wound. It's about a coin-flip on that one right now.

Movable Type 4 beta - yuck.



And now, a geek interlude.

(mmm. 'ludes.)

I run this blog (and those I support) on Movable Type. I know there's a vast, imaginary religious war between WordPress users and Movable Type users, though in fact my loyalty to Movable Type has more to do with my expertise in the tool (I can put together an MT blog from scratch, including a download and most major plugins in about five minutes).

In any case, being a major geek, i always get excited when there's a major new version of a tool I use. I check every damned day for updates on when ecto3 is coming out, for example.

Yesterday, Brandon told me that MT4 had just entered Beta. And even though I'm way too busy to work on something like this, I still had to go download and install it.


There are a billion new features. It really looks, in a lot of ways, like they've merged the best of vox and typepad with MT. Reading about all they've added and fixed, i'm loving the product.

But then I actually used it.

Happy D-day

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I just wanted to say happy birthday to my dear friend Doxy. I don't think she even dwells in the blogosphere anymore so I doubt she's reading, but still, she's one of those people who should be celebrated.

Here's to ya, Girl.




Well, I'm suddenly up on 25peeps.

No, not those peeps, 25peeps.

I have no idea why. But go 'head and click me, early and often.


Well, 25peeps, which started out as a great idea (put up your face and see who clicks you and goes to your blog) has already degenerated into a farm for T&A and splogs. That didn't take long. Pretty much any pic that ain't T&A gets pushed off right quick.

...maybe if I posted an up-kilt shot?

Anyway, I thought about re-upping but fuck 'em.

blogiversary three



I just noticed that my third blogiversary is coming up; middle of this month.

Jan 15, 2004, as a lark, I posted my first blog entry. My friend Jen had offered me hosting space for a domain I owned; I just wanted a place to park the name, and maybe a few pages of storage.

Want a blog, while we're at it? she asked me. And I figured, hell why not, though I've nothing to say and no one's gonna read it.

So, on a sunny california mid-january day in '04, I sat down and asked that question that almost every new blogger asks - why am i doing this?

Three years later, and I still don't know the answer to that. But I do know that I was wrong, and people are, for some unknown reason, reading.

The phrase Long, Strange Trip comes to mind.

Thus, on Jan 15th, I'll celebrate three years. And I expect you all to celebrate with me, taking a sip or a hit or a snort or a swallow of your favorite poison, and touching yourself or someone else (or, you know, me, if you can reach that far) in the most indecent way possible. Show me some dirty love, people.

I know you're out there



I spend far too much time looking at web stats.

I know who hits from where, when - for most of my regular readers, anyway. I know who's in NYC and who's in DC; who's in NO and who's in what part of TX; I know who's on the peninsula and who's in KC and who's in AZ; I know who's in belgium, who's in the UK and who's in the Great White North.

There are a few that puzzle me though.

For example - who's that in Beverly Hills? I've seen you here a few times.

Who's the reader in San Jose, CA, who was reading my decmeber archives for almost an hour today?

Who's the one on Irvine who spent three hours on my writing blog?

Who are the people who visit from strange places and never say a word? A blogger has to wonder. When readers slip in and out almost silently, leaving only a hit counter's trace behind, who are they?




I dunno what the hell zlist is but i seem to be #18 on it (or something like that). So, you know, go click the up arrow and make me #1.

design time



I'm thinking of doing a major blog re-design.

I'm aces at the movable type template/plugins etc, but i sort of suck ass at graphic design (when I say suck ass, I mean in a bad way). So i need someone who can work with me on this who sorta gets movable type templates and who gets my aesthetic.

Anyone interested?

What I got in mind is something akin to this; with a color palate and design based on classic old school tattoo flash. I want to keep something similar to the general layout i have now (i have too damned many links to do two columns), but with a re-vamped (and maybe easier-on-the-eyes) color scheme. I actually have a shirt that looks really similar to the color/design feel i want (click for a full-size view):

Flash Shirt

If you're interested in helpin' me out, let me know.

This is Halloween, everybody make a scene



I was trying to temporarily replace my current blog layout with something halloweeny (weenish? something like that), you know, black and orange with silly-scary lettering.

I figured, you're home sick on halloween rather than out putting the trick in trick or treat, you might as well at least tart up your blog in halloween finery (cheapery?).

But i ran into some trivial technical problem and with grouchy-sick-guy patience, i said fuck this and gave up. What's the point in decorating when you're not even blogging, sez I.

Still. I think i need to change the look of this place. Out with teh piracy, in with the tattoo flash, or something.

pimpin' it out

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You may notice some adverts here and there around the m'sphere.

Which ain't exactly piracy, but you know, you do what 'ya gotta.

I'm tryin' this out after helping a hot and lovely friend research ads. They may not stay, we'll see what i get in the way of filthy lucre.

dollars and $ense



A sex-blogger friend 'o mine needs to get some advertising revenue coming in from her blog; I of course know very little about getting ads set up on a blog, particularly when it's a blog of the adult variety.

Anyone out there know much about this? I have no idea where to get started, between the mainstream ad sources (Adsense, the built-in ad system on typepad, etc) and adult ad providers.

I need words of wisdom on where to start with it. Actually getting the ads working is cake, but I dunno where to start with rounding up advertising for a blog with adult content.

No indifference - and now, the sixties



I have to give ChelseaGirl some deep, wet kisses for pointing me to this site; the oddly named gentle indifference.

"A compact disc-length compilation of relevant music from each calendar year dating back to 1960. Updated every Monday."

I just pulled down 1968:

1. All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix - 4:00
2. White Room - Cream - 4:57
3. Piece Of My Heart - Big Brother & The Holding Co - 4:14
4. I Say A Little Prayer For You - Aretha Franklin - 3:36
5. The Way Young Lovers Do - Van Morrison - 3:18
6. I Heard it Thru Grapevine - Marvin Gaye - 3:10
7. I Wish It Would Rain - Temptations - 2:53
8. The Weight - The Band - 4:33
9. Mrs. Robinson - Simon and Garfunkel - 3:50
10. Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette - 2:41
11. Israelites - Desmond Dekker - 2:36
12. Say It Loud, I'm Black And I'm Proud - James Brown - 3:02
13. Everyday People - Sly and the Family Stone - 2:22
14. Days - The Kinks - 2:52
15. For Once in My Life - Stevie Wonder - 2:50
16. La La Means I Love You - Delfonics - 3:23
17. Crimson and Clover - Tommy James & The Shondells - 5:28
18. With A Little Help From My Friends - Joe Cocker - 4:55
19. Jumping Jack Flash - The Rolling Stones - 3:44
20. Hey Jude - The Beatles - 7:02
21. (Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay - Otis Redding - 2:45

Which you can download here (Sorry, it's sendspace - i don't like sendspace but these mixes make it worth the trouble).

Even if you don't download them, these are fantastic playlists. They're pretty much all must-have songs from each year.

I've got bza's mixes from 1970-1973, and just pulled down '66-69. And I have to say, to a one they're all brilliant. Alas, he doesn't keep the others available for download so I can't get the post-73 ones; I'd love to see what he's got for the late '70s and the 80s. But oh-my-god are the ones I have great. Keep on going, bza, these fuckin' rule.

Bleeding Edge - MT 3.3 Beta 2



I just upgraded my MT install to MT 3.3 Beta 2. Which isn't, I guess, truly bleeding edge, but I like the phrase bleeding edge.

If anyone has troubles, let me know. This new MT version has some cool features, I'm only just starting to play with them.

MT 3.3 beta



Update - The MT 3.3 Beta has been released.

I encourage MT users to get on board and help test - I'd like to see this release go GA shortly, it's got some REALLY cool features. I'm not planning to upgrade this-here space yet (not 'til they get to at least beta version 2 or 3), but it's looking pretty solid in my beta-testing blog and I've seen no major bugs yet.

SixApart are about to start a beta test of Movable Type 3.3.

The plan as of now is to install that here - maybe not the day it comes out, but shortly after. I'll likely (If I have time) install 3.3 as a separate installation first to drive it around and see what's different. If any of you-all who have m'sphere blogs are interested, I'll point you to it.

I have not seen a change list to see what they've added, but I'm hoping it's 1) good stuff and 2) doesn't break anything.

While I think MT is the best bloging platform out there, I'm not sure how confident I am in SixApart these days; they seem like they're letting things get away from them on TypePad and of course they're spending cycles supporting LiveJournal, which is possibly the worst blogging platform around, if the one with the largest customer base. I'm hoping they get control of that shortly.

Blogrolling is down, down down



Blogrolling is down today, for those who use it.

Please note that is curerntly down for maintenance reasons. We have been experiencing technical issues with the database and have to take down the entire service in order to repair the problem in a quick fashion.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Seems like it's back, finally. I'm no big fan of blogrolling but it's still the only one that does 'recently updated' links correctly. For everything else, MTBlogRolling is a better choice.

thanks, CG



The lovely and talented ChelseaGirl pointed some of her fleshbotty traffic my way with a link; only I've not had much to say lately.

If you folks got here following her link, go look here for my small catalog of written expression.


...And now CG's entry on writing has been picked up by (the lovely and talented) Bacchus from Erosblog, and so I'm getting even more hits. So if you're looking for the story CG mentioned, that's here, in it's pre-edit form; the erotic novella Wanton.

So thanks Bacchus as well as CG!

I Have No Mouth, and I Must...



Evidently I've not only stopped blogging but stopped communicating almost completely. Even my mother just asked me if she'd pissed me off, and she's never said anything like that to me, ever. I'm certain there's a list of people who are likewise wondering if I'm angry, or who are angry with me.

Mea Culpa. I'm sorry. It's been a weird week or so. I'm trying to settle down and write something, anything. The words slip through my grasping fingers like eels.

He is called the human nest-egg
Is known as Prince of Leaves
He is hidden now but you can see
The bubbles where he breathes
He has mastered all the hard things
And is difficult to shock
Has a muscle on the bottom
Which attaches him to the rocks

     --Shriekback, New Man

blog break



I didn't really plan it but I seem to have taken some sort of break from blogging. I look back at my last couple weeks of entries and find that even though there are a few posts, they're free of content. And since last weekend I've had nothing whatsoever to say, not even able to write apart from a couple current-eventss notes.

I don't know if this is the end of taking a break or just the beginning. But I know I still have nothing to say.

So. Let's just call this a blog break and see what happens.

Cats foot iron claw
Neuro-surgeons scream for more
At paranoias poison door.
Twenty first century schizoid man.

Blood rack barbed wire
Polititians funeral pyre
Innocents raped with napalm fire
Twenty first century schizoid man.

Death seed blind mans greed
Poets starving children bleed
Nothing hes got he really needs
Twenty first century schizoid man.

more happy

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Happy Birthday to m'man Ray.

Love ya like a brother, man. Have a good day. Eat until you fuckin' bust.

Happy Birthday

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Because I'm just that sort of friend, Doxy, I forgot yesterday was your birthday.

I keep tellin' people, I'm an asshole.

Anyway, a big moronosphere shout-out to Doxy. Happy Birthday, baby. You seem to have stopped blogging again, but I'm hope you're havin' a fine ol' day of it.

It also seems to be Gina's (mrs Ray) birthday.

So mid-april spankings all round.

Comment Freaky Styley



I just found a trick at LMT to make author comments show up differently than comments from the peanut gallery.

I tried this out yesterday in Hiromi's blog (which worked out pretty well) so today I added it to my blog.

Still tuning but I think it's pretty cool, it make it clear which comments are author replies; not that useful here but really useful for Hiromi, who is the queen of comments. I'm still tweaking around with her comments over there to get the best display but I'm likin' the way it works out.

(This is what I do when I'm sick - that cold I was fighting all last week finally won, and I feel like crap. Which I just typo'd as 'feel like carp', which may be how I feel, like a fuckin' carp.)

Happy Blogday to CG



I just wanted to give a nod to the lovely and talented ChelseaGirl who's celebrating her one year BlogDay anniversary with an all-day house party.

And I wanted to point to what I made for her, a little bit of erotica called Chelsea, which wasn't bad for being written under the influence of tequila.

Happy BlogDay, CG!

Personal Pages, Profanity



Well now. I've been upgraded - or downgraded - or degraded. Or just, you know, graded. Feels like that, or maybe that's more grated, and it feels like that as well.

Secure Computing, the motherfuckers who sell STOOPIDfilter to repressive countries and companies, agreed that I wasn't Pornography, sex.

Evidently I'm Personal Pages, Profanity, with a side of Personal, Mature.

Well, fuck yeah. That's me. The Moronosphere, ProfanityBlog.

Because we're all about the effword here.

Maybe it's mature that bothers me more. Who you callin' fuckin' mature? We ain't got no fuckin' maturity here. Not a sausage. Not a drop. Not a fuckin' cc, baby.

I guess the point is that the people at Secure Computing listen if we complain, but they still do the wrong thing and slap a fucking label on something they don't get.

I'll have to see if we're still banned in the fuckin' UAE. They're not allowed pornography, let's see if they're allowed to read the effword.

black bars over our eyes



I finally figured out why some of my friends can't get to my site from their places of employment, and why my friend Arvind, the brilliant young developer of MtBlogRoll, can't get to my site at all from the United Arab Emirates. is on the SmartFilter blacklist. I'm listed as a "Pornography" site and a "Sex" site; which means that any company or nation that's decided to babysit users like nursery-school kids find we're too evil for tender little eyes. This includes all the sites I host under, but not sites with their own domains.

You can read about the utter stupidity that is SmartFilter on BoingBoing, who are likewise blocked.

You can check your own sites here:

I'm not yet sure if there's any way to get that listing corrected. I'm working on it and I'll post here if I find out. offline

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Satin Slippers - one of the net's best erotic sites, is (temporarily we hope) off line. I'm trying to get details from the People Who Know about if/when it will come back.

This is the site where my stories (Wanton, Man with the Bag, etc) were hosted, though I've got 'em here now.

Time's the Revelator



Darling remember from when you come to me
that I’m the pretender,
I’m not what I’m supposed to be
but who could know, lf I’m a traitor?
time's the revelator, revelator.

          --Gillian Welch, Revelator

I wish I had an mp3 of that song so I could put it up for you to hear, it's beautiful. I only have a m4p version I got from the itunes store and they're not sharable. I'd bitch about that but (looks at paycheck) it's not in my best interest to do so.

Better, I wish I could put up an mp3 of my friend Ken's version of it. Welch's is pretty, but Ken's, with backup by Heather Courtney and (hell, I guess her name is Lyndie Way, but I'm not sure about that). Ken's is intense and passionate. A case where the song writer and the cover artist combine to make something wonderful that the songwriter alone doesn't deliver.

Today marks two years of blogging for yours truly. And as with last year, I feel I should be saying something about it. I failed last year. But I have very very strong feelings about anniversaries, commemorations of dates and events. I remember these things, have marked them on myself with tattoos. I'm the one who says "You know, one year ago today, we met". I already mentioned that this year marks 30 years since my first piercing. So these things matter to me.

In so many ways Welch's lyrics, above, say more about my feelings here than anything I can come up with. I’m the pretender, I’m not what I’m supposed to be.

My long-time readers (um. both of them) know I started this to talk about writing, because I couldn't think of anything else to blog about at the time. I had hoped, after writing Wanton earlier that year, to use this blog to help me hone my writing skill and harness my creativity.

Best Laid Plans and all that. In fact this blog has been something completely other than that. An ego monument, a place to express myself, an anchor around my neck, a listening ear in both good ways and bad. It's gotten me some good friends, though in fact many of them came via orkut, or other sites like the erotica forum where I posted my novella. It's in many ways helped me be more open about my feelings. It's taught me some new technical skills, but it's also given me a huge distraction and time suck.

I don't know, in the end, if this is good for me, or bad. I flip-flop on that weekly, and as I've said, three or four times I've given it up and torn my blog down and said fuck blogging, it's all over. I've written almost nothing since Wanton, only put up two stories (a silly piece about santa and a sex-dream story inspired by a long-ago celebrity crush). I spend more time in a state of writer's block than I spend writing.

It's been an intense two years. I've learned more about love and hurt the last two years than I think I ever knew in my life up 'til that point. In many ways these last two years have encompassed some of my highest highs and lowest lows, and the shock waves from all that will not dissipate for a long while yet. In many ways I found myself these last two years, or let myself be myself, stopped being what other people expected of me.

Maybe the pretender is the shell on the ground behind me. Or maybe I'm fooling myself again and what I'm doing is simply killing time and not doing anything.

In either case, this marks two years in my life where everything changed and yet everything is the same, and I'm the worse for the wear, with new scars inside and out, only some of them self-inflicted.

I feel like I should be proud or angry. Yet all I can manage is sad.

Time's the revelator.

In your eyes I see a thousand lives, where do you come from?



In your eyes I see a thousand lives,
Where do you come from,
Where do you belong.

     --Dave Davies, Where Do You Come From

I look at my logs all the time - because I'm that kinds of guy, part OCD, part detective, part complete geek - who likes to see the man behind the curtain. The kinds of guy who needs to know how it all works.

Anyone with a sitemeter knows what I'm talkin' about, though I also have urchin installed on the server, and run a couple other web-based counters and have in the past used tools like mint to track hits.

But whatever you look at, whatever slice and dice of the data you have, it's still the same shit, who's visiting, when, from where, and how did they get here?

There are several useful, interesting or amusing data points to be had from looking at web server logs.

The one that's usually good for the most mirth is the google search string (and I use the term in the generic sense because we could be talking about hits from yahoo or msn or aolsearch or any one of a hundred other search pages). People search on the silliest, most amazing things, and someone, somewhere has to be collecting it all and will produce novels or art or poetry all based on such things. I look at my log now and see 'wrist and had tattoos', 'dorothy parker', 'dirty stories', 'Everything up 'til the killing will be a gas', and 'pyro junkies'. And that's just one sitemeter page. This can make me giggle any day.

But there are other things that are useful. I get to know certain hits by location. I know who's likely to be getting me from illinois, from eugene oregon. A few from Austin. Certain key spots in Florida. Vancouver. A couple in town here, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, San Jose. Key users in europe. Couple buddies in New Mexico and Arizona.

I know who these are by the ISP and the location (not always the location you'd expect, my home IP shows up as coming from a totally different end of silicon valley than I actually live in, something about how the ISP has things configured). I know by (sometimes) browser type, OS. For most of my friends, I sorta know when you've visited. I know partly because you're the ones who hit without a reference from a search engine, or sometimes because you show as referred from your own blog (clicking from your blogrolls).

The ones that I ponder over though, and the reason for this post, are the ones I see regularly whom I don't know. I puzzle over certain entities. Someone who hits me from Sunnyvale CA with an ISP listed as No idea who you are, but I see you regularly. Hits from San Francisco, or from San Jose. You're not in my mental list of readers I know. Readers in New Zealand. Readers in Texas who are not the usual gang of blogger-freinds (People from Dallas or from College Station). Kent, Washington. Buffalo, New York. Blackpool, Lancaster (I want to say, how's that count of holes coming, but no that's blackburn).

It's funny because I feel like I should know who's reading. I get a lot of hits from some of the strangest places, google and other blogs I'm bloggrolled on, places where someone will link to some entry like my one on jessie combs, or on driving my jeep in a kilt, or my old 'what's fifty-six' entry. Those I understand though. It's the ones who are clearly regular readers, yet unknown that always makes me wonder.

Celebrations of Trance

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Happy birthday, one (or two Depending on how you count it) late, to TranceJen.

Trance, if you gots and amazon wishlist, let it be known to me.

Happy day, baby. Kisses all over...

A Man Called Elvis



I'm talkin bout the man, I'm talkin bout the man
A man called Elvis
U oughta get 2 know him
U oughta try him

(stolen from Prince with no apology whatsoever)

I finally re-created my about me page. When I did my page redesign (with added piracy, thanks to Doxy), I forgot about it and never got around to porting the template over.

The text is mostly from a short bio I sent the j-con organizers when I got picked to be on a panel (alas, I didn't actually make it to j-con, that's how my year's been, plans made and broken a million times). But I liked what I sent them so it lives on.

Anyway, it's linked from the cartoon elvis pic on the left and the about karl elvis section on the right, and includes a bonus kilted-elvis picture (though not a NHT picture).

Santa's Little Whore



I love what I find in my sitemeter.

I got hits today on the phrase "Santa's Little Whore".

I love it. C'mere, Santa's Little Whore, wherever you are!

MT Style Randomizer

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Man, this is cool.

Arvind Satyanarayan and Brad Choate have built a random stylesheet generator for MT. It basically takes the default Vicksburg stylesheet and randomizes the colors (after lettting you choose 1, 2, or 3 columns). It's a great way to preview lots and lots of ready-to-install color combinations (some beautiful, some freaky).

YOu can click away until you get something you like and then download it. You can use it as is or use it as a sample for how to do things with the basic stylesheets.

And mostly it's just cool to click and watch the colors change, man.

Movable Type Random Styler at Movalog

You know, It would be really cool if you could install the randomized on your blog. Not that I'd do it here but some of my other side blogs, it might be fun...

BoingBoinged over the death of mashuptown

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Hey, I got a mention in BoingBoing. Sweet.

Alas, it's because I hipped Cory to the demise of one of my favorite places in the internet, Mashuptown.

My brutha-man Art has been hosting some of the freshest, tastiest mashups around, but the RIAA nazis are on his track. It's a sad day, but I'm still off to buy Mashuptown swag to show the man some support.

Thanks for the mashups, Art.

WWPD (What Would a Pirate Do?

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I love getting a mysterious package in the mail.

Well, unless there are, like, human heads in it. *

I just got this:


From the lovely and talented DarkNeuro.

And my birthday isn't even 'til next week.

* in fact I don't even mind the human heads, if they're nice 'n fresh...

Tag Sandwich



Ok, ok. I give in.

I got tagged by DarkNeuro on this, but I was up to the task of resisting it. And then I got tagged by AAG.

I can resist them one at a time. I can't resist a sandwich, though. [homer] Mmmmm. Sandwich [/homer]

Ok, so it goes like so:

  1. Delve into your blog archive.
  2. Search the archives for the 23rd post.
  3. Find the 5th sentence, or closest to.
  4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas.
  5. Tag 5 people to do the same.


My 23rd entry. More or less since they're not numbered exactly that way.

The fifth (more or less) sentence: I actually had an erotic dream about someone from Orkut last night.

Here's the funny part. I can't recall who that dream was about. I have some guesses though. Given the date (Mar26 '04), it's not some of the people I'd first guess. Maybe the object of my dream remembers.

Alright then. Tag Five (suddenly a Dave Brubeck tune starts playing in my head). I am tempted to only tag people I know won't play, just to break the chain. But... What the fuck.

So: Panties3, Brutha Ray, Greggg, Trance (who probably won't play), and Doxy (who absolutely won't play).

Play or not. All the same to me, Cats n' Kittens.

domain monkeys



I'm monkeying with my domains - changing dns from zoneedit to a local nameserver and so forth - so if you have any trouble getting to any of the blogs (or editiong your own blog if you're one of the bloggers I host), it should be temporary.

Why? Just because I can.

Ok, I got all my domains (well, almost all my domains) migrated to my local dns servers from zoneedit. Zoneedit has some nice features (The ability to do mail forwards easily), but I got tired of getting bills for zones I didn't have. I'm now using local nameservers hosted by the good folks at ThePlanet

I also registered several variants on my domain name, - .net, .org, etc. Why not, I figured. They're not all live yet, but eventually they'll all forward to here, at least until I have reason to maintain more than one site. I'm finding the whole domain hosting thing very entertaining; I think something like Globe of Frogs and five minutes, a few clicks, and a small payment, it's, just like that.

Of course then I think, why'd I register that. But whattaya gonna do, sometimes you just can't help it. It's kind of a caps for sale thing. You Monkeys You!




I'm having trouble reading any of my friends journals this week. they're all fucking sqeeeeing about journalcon.

I've always said, one of my life rules is that I'd rather regret what I did than regret what I didn't do. That's central to who I am and always will be. I'll do things in life I should not, I'll do things I need to apologize for. I'll do things, now and then, for which I need forgiveness.

But this was a case where I chose to regret what I didn't do, and I'm reminded why I hate that choice. I had good reasons for avoiding j-con this year, let's say, family maintenance that needed doing. I had to make a call, audible at the line of scrimmage. And you know, I guess I did the right thing.

But I'm fucking sad when I read Ray's or Trance's or Fredlet's accounts of j-con. There were people there I really, really wanted to meet, really wanted to see. I've been looking forward to having an i love you man session with Brutha Ray for months and months. I miss him, he's too far away.

Sigh. And Sigh.

Hey, Ray? Let's not wait til next year. I just gotta figure out how to get my ass to Austin, or New Orleans, or something.

No J-con



Looks like I won't be able to get to j-con after all. Which is a long and uninteresting story that maybe I will tell later if I get really really bored.

To all you j-con people, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. Drinks on me when we finally meet, drink 'fo days until you fall down and pass out.

Yeah, I know the 'sphere was down for a while last night and this morning. I managed to break something, now corrected.

Slashdotted (or is that fleshbotted?)



So I check my site stats today, like, you know, always, to see who's reading what. I'm like that about checking the logs. He knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when you're awake. Like that.

And I see this big fuckin' spike it my hits over the last three or four hours. Turns out Long Dark Car is in Bacchus' Sex Blogs Roundup.


Hey, if any of you enjoy, or even hate, that story, do us a favor and leave a comment. It's what the writer thrives on. and you can also clix me while you're at it.

Seven Deadly BILFs



Ok, ok. Freya made me do it, by putting me on her BILF list. It isn't easy to limit these lists to just seven, I'm tellin' ya.

Seven bloggers I'd like to meet, watch, and fuck (ok, some of these are on more than one list but I'm gonna make the lists exclusive):

I'd like to meet:

Seven I'd Like to watch go at it (Honestly, this is an extension of the list below):

And finally, seven I simply need to get my hands and mouth on, and my cock into (God it's hard to get this list down to seven)

People I've already met, watched, or done, are excluded from this list, though that doesn't mean you're off my to do list if you get what I'm sayin.

I've missed a good dozen people. I'm sorry. Damned numeric limit...

more referral nonsense - dirty margaritas?



Ok, so I've talked about the whole referrals in the logs thing. I get all sorts of useful info about who's reading (Hello out there! Yeah, you! I see you!), where I'm getting hits from (how'd I get on Sam Burns random blogroll, and how can I get her in bed?), and all sorts of random searches on skulls and tattoos and pirates and martinis and taco flavored kisses.

But I just got a hit from someone looking for a recipe for 'dirty margaritas'.

Now, I don't think that's even a real drink, I think that was a confused user. But all I can think is, ick.

I'm trying to find a way to make that sound like a good drink, or to make it something dirty about a nasty little seniorita. But it's not working. All I get is, tequila, lime, cointreau, and olive brine. Hell, that might even be good, but it sounds vile.

On the other hand, I'm now thinking, in this order:

  1. Mmmm, tequila
  2. Mmmm, nasty little seniorita

But that's not really a surprise, is it?

Katrina Watch

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You wanna know about the hurricane, go talk to Ray. He's pretty much got the Katrina Watch nailed.

One Damed Thing After Another



I shook out my cloak and brushed myself off. I traveled for perhaps half an hour then, leaving the place far behind me, before I halted and took my breakfast in a hot, bleak valley smelling faintly of sulfur.

As I was finishing, I heard a crashing noise. A horned and tusked purple thing went racing along the ridge to my right pursued by a hairless orange-skinned creature with long claws and a forked tail. Both were wailing in different keys.

I nodded. It was just one damned thing after another.

--Roger Zelazny, Trumps of Doom

I'm back here. No more blogosity at That's done though it'll stay around a while with a pointer back here until I can paste it all over and automate backups.

The disk drive we had hoped to recover? Toast. Total loss. So we're moving forward with what we have now, our july 17 backup and whatever we can salavge from google cache.

I've actually got a lotta stuff saved in Ecto, so that would help - only there's some bug between Ecto and MT Beta5 that no one can seem to reproduce. The error goes like:

Method "metaWeblog.editPost" produced a server error: "No ObjectDriver defined at /export/www/ line 144."

I don't know if it's a version problem with Perl, or something else, but Ecto says it's MT, the MT people say it's something missing in my install (no - I re-did the install completely). So Ecto is useless to me until that's corrected. And I don't know how to blog without it, I've become completely dependant.

Is this week over yet? Started with me being sick, went on to include a friend with a severe bladder infection, another whoes dog needs surgery, a friend sitting in the path of a hurricane, a whole new set of work problems, most of which are political, not technical. And another friend, friend-of-a-friend actually, just called from jail. Now I add this, no drive and no ecto. Let's start over at next monday and sklip this week, ok?

Back on Beta

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Ok, I finally got my beta upgrade in place. I'm up and running MT beta five. Not that I'm doing a lot with it, given what happend. Still, I feel better.

I'm just waiting for my recovery. Next week, we see if anything survived the disk melt-down; we may get our full databse and all the plugins and all the images, or we may be dick and have to go with what we have. I just wanna know.

As stated, I'm blogging here meanwhile. That will go on until we get the drive recovery news (and the recovered data, if any), after which, I'm back here full time (well, as soon as we have backups going).



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(this entry copied from my blogspot blog)

I don't know why I'm writing this. I have nowhere to post it.

Last night sometime - late, I'm not sure when, but late, because readers first noticed it then - our server crashed. is hosted by my friend Seth, on a machine he keeps at his house. This isn't a service. I don't pay for it. It's something he offers me because we're friends, because his lady Jen and I have been friends for well over a decade.

But this isn't a commercial service. There's no support. I'm on my own, I just get space and bandwidth free. No problem, most of the time, because I'm an old unix sysadmin type; I know how to install perl packages, I know how to hack into a mySQL database if I can't find the password, I know how to configure a web server. In short, I can do whatever I need to keep MovableType running.

But, this being just some guy's machine, I'm working without a net. There are no automated system backups. No striped and mirrored drives.

I know that. Sure. I do. And I make my own database backups, automated nightly. For months I've been meaning to figure out how to automatically transmit those to someplace off-site.

So last night, my luck ran out and the machine crashed; or more exactly, the data disk crashed, hard head-crash from Seth's description. I used to work for Seagate building and testing disk drives, I know what this means. I've seen the carnage of a bad head crash.

We have no backups to speak of.

I don't know what Seth lost. I know data was lost there. But my blog - almost all of it - is gone, wiped out. Nearly two years of work. Plus my Fiji blog from last year, and a blog I keep with stories I'm working on.

But that's not the worst of it. The worst is that I host other people. Ray. Buck. Circe. Samsarra. A few others. I let them down by not keeping my backups, my database dumps, off-site.

Ok. All is not lost. The disk goes to a recovery place tomorrow, and in 5-7 days we hope to hear that the disk isn't a complete loss. Fingers very much crossed there. And I may still have some of our old files stored in my home directory at work where I archived them after a previous database crash. That's at least a year back, but it's something.

There's also hope that some of our work can be re-gathered from web cache servers out there; I have a few things archived on my laptop (thanks to ecto). Not every word of it is gone.

But I'm without a blog. That's the thing that hurts right now. I write this and can't share it. is my home on the internet, and it's a dead-end now. I can't even tell anyone what happened. I shout at the empty space and not even an echo returns.

Seth, friend that he is, will get a basic web server up shortly, so we can at least tell the world 'yeah we're down'. He may decide to re-build his machine, he may not, I'm not sure; I may need to find new hosting, someplace where they can give me a unix shell access so I can do this right, someplace where I pay, but get the security of backups. What I'd really like to do is set up a co-located server of my own, but I'd need to charge people to host blogs, and it seems sorta silly

One Click Away

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Whirlbrain, one of those lovely people I know only as another blogger, but whom I'm glad to know, hits it right on the fucking head.

It's funny, that blog depression thing, silly as it is, distills something floating in the ether for a lot of us who've been blogging for a while. Something about the point where the blog stops being an outlet and starts being something else, a frustration, a responsibility.

We always say to each other, like some twelve-step sponsor saying no don't take a drink, 'don't stop, just take a break.' But there's the need to make some stupid self-destructive gesture. It's not the stopping we want, it's the feeling of putting a bullet in its head.

But that's the sort of pointless thing we all know is stupid even as we say it.

Still, I understand. I've had moments. I've twice taken my blog down in rage and frustration, moved it all aside, a mental 'to be deleted' tag on the files. One 'rm blog/*' command from nuking the files, one click of the 'delete this blog' button. I know I won't do it, I've deleted work before and always, always regretted it. But there's that moment, like a bridge jumper thinking I could, but today I won't.

There's empty beauty in pointless gestures. Silent sorrow in empty boats.

Blog Depression

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From The Nonist:

a nonist public service pamphlet:

there is a growing epidemic in the cyberworld. a scourge which causes more suffering with each passing day. as blogging has exploded and, under the stewardship of the veterans, the form has matured more and more bloggers are finding themselves disillusioned, dissatisfied, taking long breaks, and in many cases simply closing up shop. this debilitating scourge ebbs and flows but there is hardly a blogger among us who has not felt it’s dark touch. we’re speaking, of course, about blog depression.

You know, it's funny because it's true.

google goodness

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You know, there are a number of reasons to check one's hit logs. See if traffic's up or down, see if hits are coming from some other web site that's linked to me (Thanks Ang, I got mad hits from coolios); see which old entries are getting hit.

But one of the very best things is to see the weird random googlings that lead you all to me.

I get an absolute shitload, for instance, of hits on fucking 'taco flavored kisses' because I once quoted that stupid south park song in an entry about taco flavored cheese (ick). I get hits and hits and hits from searches on the tasty Jessi Combs. I get hits on jazz stuff, on peanut butter fudge recipes, on the phrase "Trample Me"

And I get hits daily on the phrase "Skull Ring".

But the funny stuff isn't the stuff I've specifically blogged about. For some reason, I get hits at least weekly on the phrase "Daddy fucks me" or some variant; "daddy fuck me hard", "fuck me so hard it hurts". "fuck me kitten" showed up today. And every time I see one of these in my logs, I get this stupid grin on my face.

I really should capture these on an ongoing basis somewhere, build a page out of them automatically. It'd make an excellent geek project.

Edit: I just got another one, for, get this, girls sticking live fish up there (sic) pussies.

And I wanna ask, who are you, who's googling that?

[made with ecto]

Blogosphere Dropout

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God, I feel like I've totally dropped out of the blogosphere. I really haven't even thought about any entries of note in a
week, I have not read anyone else's blog in a week. I've barely been on line, haven't IM'd, have not answered email.

Even though I've been working like a dog all week, I still feel like I've been on vacation from everything. But now I feel oddly out of touch with the online world and have a lotta catch-up reading to do.

My bachelor week is about done. And while I didn't go anywhere, still, I feel like I've had a vacation. My watch is in the shop for repair, and literally, it's been a week since I knew what time it was; it's been a week since I cared what time it was.

So what have I done? I'm trying to think. Not much, and yet I feel like I've been busy. Busy not doing anything important at all. I've been to a few dinners, watched a few movies, finished a couple books, written quite a bit. I've had too much to drink almost every night. I've talked to friends on the phone, I've hung out with topless, sunbathing lesbians, I've seen a movie, watched some TV, and just hung out a lot. I've been to a couple strip clubs, gone drinking with a group of guys I just met, watched porn movies. I've sat in the sun and done nothing. I've gone swimming at midnight and slept until 10am. I've gone for motorcycle rides and cooked for myself. Re-wired a friend's AV system.

I have not read any Harry Potter. Waiting for the family to get home for that one. But I have read up on Harry Potter spoilers. I'm like that.

Apart from some writing and work, I've avoided my computer. As I said, little IM, no blogging or reading blogs. I'm behind on mashups over at MashupTown, I'm behind on everyone's blogs; I don't think I've left a blog comment in a week.

It's been an interesting week. I have never truly lived alone. I haven't been this alone in years; last time I was this alone, I crashed my motorcycle and spent most of the week barely able to walk with a back sprain. This is considerably better.

Yet it's weird to get up in the morning and not see my kids; it's weird to not read them stories before bed. It's weird to not have anyone to cook for; it's weird not to have the daily, constant chaos that comes from living with a family. That chaos is both the bane and the beauty of being a father, so it's loss is both good and bad. It's lovely to not have to run my dishwasher daily, to not have two loads of wash every day, to know any mess I have to clean, I made. But it's a little empty to come home from work and not have anyone say Hi Daddy.

I miss 'em. Yet, this is good; it's been therapeutic for me in many ways. Time to think, to relax, to not have to think about anyone's needs but mine. I think we all need more of this; fathers, mothers, husbands, wives. Our kids, if they're lucky, sometimes go to summer camp, and some of us get to go away to college. Grownups need summer camp now and then, I think. Particularly a summer camp with strippers and sunbathing, topless lesbians.

I must say though, I'm still tempted to go get my nipples pierced before everyone comes home. I've been thinking about it for a week, and I just might go do it, tonight, tomorrow. I would have gotten a tattoo, were not finances a little short this month, but some part of me wants to do something that leaves a mark. Other than walking into a door.

[made with ecto]

Can't get my blog on



I have all sorts of shit I want to blog about. A movie I watched saturday (awful!), doing kid-stuff with my kids (simple pleasures), cooking, a book I just finished (very good). Another movie I watched last night (funny, and deeply odd).

But I just -- can't. I'm feeling too low, too frustrated, too spent. I just can't find the words.

I was trying to comment on a friend's blog last night, and I couldn't even find the words for that, just stared at the gray background with my fingers on the keys and had -- nothing.

I'm again struggling with the urge to take it all down, or archive it all and start over.

Fuck you five times

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From Poppy to Ray. If I were not right in the middle of Liquor (Thanks again, Ray), I would not fall for this.

The 5 Right Now Meme:

Gimme your body, Gimme your mind



Gimme your body
Gimme your mind
Open your heart
Pull down the blind

Gimme your love gimme it all
Gimme in the kitchen gimme in the hall

Art for arts sake
Money for Gods sake
Art for Arts sake
Money for Gods sake

I had one of those weekends where I think about killing off my blog, because I am in a place where rage and pain and frustration mount, and I can't seem to use the one therapy available to me -- writing.

This is where a private journal is better; yet I seem unable to write without an audience. As much as I belive in art for art's sake I can't seem to practice it, I need to send my words off to someone to have them worth saying.

Blogging is a double-edged sword. We send our words into the vast semi-permenant public record that is the internet, but eventually, we all must deal with the fact that from the click of the 'publish' button, our thoughts and deeds are public, and can, possibly, be tracked back. Even anonymous bloggers know this; look at Waiter Rant, who had to take his 'tip jar' down because it might compromise his anonymity.

Those of us who blog under a known name, real or trackable back to us, invariably confront the fact that people we know may read us. Family, friends, work, parents.

My mother reads this space. Eventually, my daughter will find it, as soon as she gets bored googling up obscure playmobile toys and decides to google daddy.

The audience constrains us. Things I might say, behind a curtain of anonymity with no names or dates, now, ever and always, I must think about. Who might this hurt? Is this someone's secret? Am I free to speak? And this becomes a spiral, tighter and tighter, til sometimes I cannot move my fingers, trapped in some fugue state, paralyzed by thought and unable to create.

Days like this, I think, shut it down, it's past it's expiration date.

Fortunately, when I think this, I don't reach for the delete key. At best I think 'take it down' and move the published files aside. The database that contains all this work, and that of other bloggers, is safe, and backed up. So if I again succumb to the desire to make it go away, the few ounces of treasure in all this won't cease to be.

But I stare at ecto's compose window, more and more as time goes by, with empty, impotent frustration, my words filtered down to nothing. I post links and pictures and funny quips, meaningless film reviews, because I feel I must say something.

Mute frustration rules my life in many ways. Words I cannot speak. My words become the match that ignites a tinderbox of trouble. Yet words are the life-blood of me, my interface to the world, my only effective tool to understand the universe. I think in language. I often think in dialog.

I am trapped in my own head, unable to break free, the tools that helped now, I fear, hurt. There is so much I want to say, and so little I can.

The Sociopath



Someone stop me from these stupid tests.

But I finally got one I like.




Our little Ray is Almost Famous.

I can't wait to see our hit counts from this.

...what was I talking about?



I've hit one of those damned creativity lulls where I sit down to blog several times during the day and stare at the blank, mocking screen.

I'm not sure why -- possibly it's that I actually have the germ of an idea for a story, which I'm a paragraph into but haven't had TIME to work on. But maybe that's where all the energy is going. We'll see. But in any case I have a feeling I might not be updating here quite as much for the next week or so.

That's either a good thing or a bad thing. you tell me.

I think bloggers are so sexy

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I may be Waiter Rant's biggest fan.

I'm standing on the shore of a tropical island when a beautiful blonde, in a skimpy white bikini, emerges from the surf like Venus Rising from the sea. I admire her long legs as she sashays suggestively towards me.

"Hi," she says breathlessly.


"Aren't you that guy from the Waiter Rant blog?" she asks, beads of water glistening on her ripe full breasts like diamonds.

"Why yes - yes I am," I reply suavely.

"I think bloggers are so sexy," she teases playfully.

I'm at a loss for words.

Click here to see the whole entry.

Evidently, I'm a fucking spaniard.



Your Inner European is Spanish!

Energetic and lively.

You bring the party with you!

Fredlet, stop posting shit like this so I can stop doing these stupid quizzes.




After pointing Buck Daruma to ways to do blogrolls, I decided to test-drive MTBlogroll.

This is a MovableType plugin by Arvind Satyanarayanthat will manage a blogroll locally in your MovableType mySQL database, instead of keeping it on someone else's web site like BlogRolling.

The advantage is clear; faster, since it's local, and you don't depend on an external site to be up. It also have a number of features I like, one of which is that it can import my existing blogrolls. And of course, i have much more control over it.

It was easy to install and easy to configure, though the docs are minimalist at best and the template changes caused me some confusion.

There are a few downsides though -- the main one being that it evidently can't do 'recently updated'. Now, for a roll of static links, that's fine. Particularly for things like non-blog links. I don't care when they're updated. But for things like my Daily Reads list, I depend on that (so it's annoying when blogs don't ping the right sites to make this work).

In short I'd say that this works really well aside from that feature; I'll be switching my Daily Reads back to blogrolling, but I may put my static non-blog links into my local roll since I don't often update that.

For sites I host, it's up and ready and working, all you need is a template hack and to load in your blogroll; mail me and I'll show you how or do it for you.

a mysterious malevolent harridan

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I just want to thank Waiter Rant for putting the phrase mysterious malevolent harridan in my head. Delightful.




TranceJen just made me promise.

JournalCon is in San Diego this year. I guess I'll finally have to go to one of these deals.

October 21-23. Save that date. We'll see how much trouble we can all get into.

Ray? You too, me bucko.

Who doesn't like panties?



I just have to put in a quick plug (a-hem) for Brett and Hiromi's Panties Panties Panties blog. I mean, they understand Tim Powers, fercrisssakes.

[edit - that blog is long gone now -- (3/6/2005)]

They also have some absolutely lovely panty fetish pictures. And as some of you know, I do have something of a fetish for panties (Though I must admit, I'll always choose commando before panties, no matter how cute the panties are).

Anyway, show B&H some panty-fetish love, they're fine, fine people.




Hey, this is cool.

I just installed a new version of MTLJPost, an MT plugin that automatically posts my MT blog entries on LiveJournal. This way, I can blog once, yet I'm not neglecting my LJ user friends.

Ray, if you wanna turn this on, let me know, I'll show you how. It's super easy.

Fuck Me So Hard It Hurts



So I check my sitemeter all the time. Not so much because I care how many hits I'm getting, though that's vaguely interesting. But because it's interesting, educational, and sometimes amusing to see what search terms I get hits from.

Spanking Art is a huge one. Hits on that many times every day. Live Wrong gets me a lot of them too. Erototoxins did for a spell but not so much any more.

I got a couple, a while back, on Spanking Policeman which got me laughing. No idea why that hit me. I get tons from searches on Skull Ring and quite a few from related searches, Crazy Pig and Tony Creed.

I get tons of hits from Tattoo and Kilt searches. I'm staring to get some for Hold Fast.

You know, the stuff I talk about.

But today I got one that simply delighted me.

Fuck Me So Hard It Hurts, the search was on.

Who are you, oh AOL user who found me that way? Did you find what you're looking for? I can't tell, since it was an AOL search and I can't see the results page.

But I must say, there's nothing anyone can say to me that will delight me as much as that phrase. Well, I can think of a few things, from a few people, mostly involving the word "yes", but aside from that, Fuck Me So Hard It Hurts is music to my sick, twisted ears.

C'mon. Say it to me again.

A little tail

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I have to take a moment here to love on both Doxy and The Artist who does her cartoons (same lovely lady who did my Cartoon Karl Elvis).

There's my easter bunny, right there!

Waiter Rant -- Tsunami



If you're not already, go read this entry in Waiter Rant, which is called Tsunami.

This guy is such a good writer. The observations about working in food service are spot on and funny, sure, but you could say the same of Cook Rant.

But the cat who writes Waiter Rant is more. He's got a keen sense of who people are. He's writing about life; he's something of a philosopher. More, he's an incredibly good writer, and I can't wait til he decides to get a book out.

This entry isn't about being a waiter. This entry is about fear and change.

My godfather sits in the passenger seat. He taps me on my shoulder.

“You can’t be here,” I say to him, “You’re dead.”

Putting on his old Greek fisherman’s cap he looks at me lovingly with his cool blue eyes.

“Everything changes,” he says.

With a tremendous roar the tsunami arrives in all its fury. Blue green and glistening it towers hundreds of feet high. I can see the shadows of sharks swimming inside. It heads straight for me. I’m going to die.

“And nothing changes,” my godfather whispers.

The wave hits. I cry out. I’m tumbling in darkness.

[composed and posted with ecto]

Nobody's Fault but Mine

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That monkey on my back
The monkey on my back, back, back
Gonna change my ways tonight
Nobody's fault but mine

I will get that gun tonight
No-no-no-no-nobody's fault but mine

     --Led Zeppelin, 'Nobody's Fault But Mine'

You may remember the recent utter collapse of livejournal. Well now, Diaryland has taken a similar crap:

8:51 pm: UGH. Diaryland has been down for several hours. Two out of three drives in the RAID array on the main web server died for some reason, so we have had to put up a new server and copy the site over there. No entries are lost, we have backups of those and the database servers are fine. The main problem is just that we now have to regenerate all the diaries from backups on the new server, which unfortunately will take a long time, overnight at least, because there are so, so many. The order they are regenerated will be all the gold diaries first, and then by the time the diary was last updated.

I can't believe this has happened on the new server after the exact same thing happened 2 months ago on the old server and we moved the site to this one, it's absolutely unreal. This whole day has been a total nightmare for me, it's so stressful and depressing to have to go through this whole ordeal all over again.

- andrew @ diaryland

This is why I self-host. When my server goes out, I have only myself to blame. When I corrupt a database, as I did a couple weeks back, I get to go hack around and fix it. Nobody's Fault but Mine.

Speaking of self-hosting, check out Doxy's new home-away-from-home, Phone Slut Blog. She's still maintaining her old Phone Slut Diary but this new one should see more frequent updates. As with everything Doxy does, this is well worth a read.

And now I'm off to see a my friend Tricia to talk about a most painful tattoo. But later when I complain, remind me -- Nobody's Fault but Mine.

blog hackery again



I should not try to hack on my block when I'm fulla pharmacuticals, but Doxy got me started wanting to fix some things.

This space may look all fucked up for a bit more. I'm trying to roll back to a fully-functional two column layout so I can start over. Should be better fairly soon though.

Either that or I take the rest of these pills and, well, after that, who will care?

Fear & Loathing in the Afterlife

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Great obit for HST from Jackson Specific:

Hunter S. Thompson, named by some in the hour of his self-inflicted death; a journalist, a writer, a clown, the godfather of gonzo, was all of these things and more. He was a fine writer, it can surely be said, a perceptive and frighteningly honest political commentator; an intelligent, merry prankster who grasped life by the ankles and shook, until spare change sanity struck the hard sidewalk of reality hard enough to evoke a hearty gut laugh. He was a true and shining shard of jagged glass in the splintered mirror crown worn by America.

Purple again!

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Ok. I'm back in a functional three-way layout.

Three-Way. Say it with me.

It's still fucked up on Safari. I've come to the conclusion that this is a Safari bug, though, and am reporting it as such to Apple. If you're a Safari user, sorry; I feel your pain, I use Safari and it annoys the fuck out of me. But I'm not going to design to a bug in one browser.

Now I just need to find the lead developer for Safari and get him in a sleeper-hold until he fixes this shit.

Under new Deconstruction



I'm still having layout problems -- something is goofed up with my templates and I have not had time to sort it out. I've temporarily gone back to a default template without my changes while I sort out what broke.

Should be more together in a day or so.

Meanwhile, if you have a San Jose Mercury account, you can read a very shallow bit of an interview I did at PantheaCon:

Pagans work magic, turn some heads at San Jose hotel.

The bit that's actually relevant is:

...So what's with the kilts? Turner said she likes ``men in skirts,'' but they have no great religious significance.

Karl Elvis MacRae of Saratoga, a software engineer for Apple Computer, was volunteering at a kilt stand. He's not a pagan, he just likes kilts. ``Men have worn un-bifurcated garments for thousands of years,'' he said. The kilt offers freedom, especially when it's hot out.

Why not just wear shorts?

``Not as much of a breeze in shorts,'' he answered. And he sometimes wears it to work. ``You know, it's Apple.''

Three Way -- all the cool kids are doing it



Right, you think I mean...


I just switched to a three-column layout for this blog, copying Austin Ray because he's my bruddah and if he thinks it's cool, I think it's cool.

Tell me if the rendering on this is all fucked up on your browser. I've tested it in Mozilla and Safari, and in Firefox. Firefox and Mozilla may need a force relead (thats is, I think, hold down your shift key while you click reload). I think they cache teh css file. If it looks fucked up, try that and let me know if it's still broke.

Date-based archives, new and improved

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I learned a useful MovableType trick from Chuck, who has Pie in the Lunchroom.

It's a really simple MT hack that sorts entries in the date-based archives in ascending, not descending order.

Descending makes sense on the index; you want to see the latest, not the oldest. But when you look at the archives it's sort of non-intuitive to work back. You want to read oldest to newest.

The change is super-simple. Just edit your Date-Based Archive, and replace this code:


With this code:

     <MTEntries sort_order="ascend">

I think you can do the same thing with category archives but I'm considering if that makes sense or not.

Thanks, Chuck!


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Our server went down last night around 3am EST. We have not yet figured out why. But if you tried to read this space
late/early, that's why. Everything seems fine now but we're making backups to be safe.

Pardon Me For Being Forward

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I know everyone's already seen this but I just spent half a day trying to remember where so just make sure I have a reference, plus to share it with those who've never seen it:

Just a note to let you know:

I already saw it.

That forward? I got it. I've gotten it. I do not wish to keep receiving it. I was neither moved nor inspired. It was neither clever nor funny. I was not amazed at the stupidity of that criminal, nor disgusted, appalled, and chagrined by the United States Government. I do not marvel at how inexpensive things used to be, nor am I astonished that kids today don't know about things that happened before they were born.

That's from an Anil Dash piece, Pardon Me For Being Forward. Send it to the next person who sends you something incredibly stupid. But not to me, I've already seen it.




I just have to draw attention to Doxy's breasts.

Ok, not her actual breasts.

But these:

Breasts Sml

About which a man can only say yum or possibly, Wubba-Wubba.

And then there's this:

Pussy Bug

I never before thought you could put the words Pussy and Bug together and have it turn out yummy.

I wish Dox would update more often. Her blog is always a delight.

Tag, I'm it



I'm just reading up on how to use Technorati tags.

It's an interesting idea. The two main uses I've seen in MT blogs is to convert either keywords or categories into tags. I've got a cool plugin for MT that automatically converts keywords, only, I don't use keywords.

I've also got an applescript in ecto that converts my categories into tags. You'll see what it does at the bottom of this entry.

What I really want, though, is a plugin that does this automatically in MT; I choose categories or keywords as usual, and then the MT plugin automagically makes them tags when I post. I don't know if this exists yet, but either I'll write it or someone else will. I'll have to study up on how to write MT plugins, I guess.


Ah, now that I re-read the tags spec, I see technorati are already honoring MT categories so I don't need to do anything to make this work. It's only useful if you use keywords and want them honored.

Teach me to read the spec...

Technorati Tags: {, , }




Ok the main reason for my posting this is the picture, below.

Coffee, Tea, or -- yeah, I'll have the Stewardess:

Hello Stewardess

Evidently this girl got fired by her airline for posting this and other pictures in her blog.

Stupid airlines. Stews like that, I'd be flyin' those friendly skies. Maybe she should get a job with Virgin Air; now there is an airline that appreciates babe stewardesses.

(ok, fine, flight attendants. Whatever)

All I'm sayin' is, we need more sex in the sky, not less.

Blog Year

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Today marks one year of blogging for me.

I had some essay going about what it all means and what I've learned and blah blah blah but it just wasn't happening. I lost interest in it.

Still. One year. 185 entries in my blog.

I'm surprised. I've never kept a journal. I expected to stop after a week.

You know, I might just keep doing this. Or maybe not. Who knows?




Yet another reason I'm glad I don't LiveJournal.

An unexpected power outage not only took them to their knees, but left them hopelessly broken.

A system on that scale with that vast number of users should not find a power outage so unexpected, and should have a working recovery plan that they've tested and drilled.

The folks working the outgage, hats off you you. I've done the work you're doing now, and it's a hard and thankless task, and I'm sure in the end you'll get everything working with minimal data loss. You guys deserve credit you'll never get.

But the cost to the users, the company, the reputation of LiveJournal; that's enormous and can't easily be fixed.

I wonder if SixApart, makes of MovableType and TypePad, are now re-thinking the aquisition of LiveJournal?

You know, I've had my own blog disasters. But when you host yourself or borrow space for free on friends machines, you expect that. A commercial service on the scale of LJ should know better.

Good luck to the LJ staff and to my LJ user friends; and if you're finally fed up with LJ, come talk to me, I can suggest some other options.

BlogTips from Spank Boss

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This is focused on adult blogging, but a lot of the advice is really good for any blogger.

From SpankBoss at SpankingBlog, a page of Blogging Tips:

DO: Do blog every day. This doesn't mean you can't miss a day. It just means that, week in and week out, your visitors should find something new every time they come to your site -- so they'll make it part of their daily routine.

Don't: Don't fall into the trap of thinking traffic doesn't matter. It does. Remember, you are building a personal brand, even if you never hope to make a dime from it. That means you want readers, and you want exposure. Again, why bother to blog if nobody reads? It's a lot of time and energy; for most people, the rewards for that include positive feedback from as many real people as possible. Also, if you are blogging about adult topics, the traffic you'll earn has a substantial economic value, because you could sell ads whether you choose to, or not. Eventually, people will start offering you money for your blog and your domain name. There are also practical benefits to having lots of traffic. If you link someone, and their server stats go through the roof, they are more inclined to link back to you.

Etc, etc.

Take a look. Some of the advice is great, particularly about things like having a blog roll, linking to other blogs, and commenting on other blogs. This is what brings traffic to your site. Worth a look for any blogger, but warning: it's a sex blog and not really work safe.

(Thanks to Bacchus at ErosBlog for the link)

Slashdotted by Proxy



It's funny, I have not checked my logs in a couple days -- I just did and suddenly I've got a huge traffic spike, just huge, even bigger than when erosblog links to me.

I tracked it down -- it seems that traffic spikes run downhill; Brandon over at just got slashdotted, and since I'm on his all-around cool people list, that slashdot effect has washed over onto me in the form of lots of hits, and lots of comment spam.

Funny how these things work.

Gotta wonder if anyone's actually reading though; if people don't comment, I never really know.

Clix Me!

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Just out of boredom, I got myself up on

clix me! I know. It's lame. But why not.

The Artist and the Toons



So a few people have asked me where I got the Kartoon Karl Elvis image I use here and on my Orkut profile.

Contact info for the artist is here, courtesy of Doxy's site. The work's damned good, and the artist is a rockin' babe as well.

Hit me slowly, hit me quick!

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So as kind of an attention slut, I can't help but keep an eye on my hits and stats and referrals (Where the hits come from).

My best hit spikes have both been from mentions in erosblog, one of my favorite sex blogs. Both times my hits spiked through the roof, and I'm still getting hits from both mentions.

But the funny thing I'm getting now is a steady wave of hits from google searches on the word "Erototoxins".

This makes me laugh. I'm hoping some of these are coming from the insane people who actually thing all this makes sense. But in any case I just think it's funny how many times each day I'm still seeing referrals based on that word. If I've actually picked up any readers from that, folks, let me know, that will be a cherry on top. I keep trying to find a way to work erototoxins into everyday conversation since it's such a silly word.

When I started blogging I really didn't want anyone to read this. I was doing it for myself. Somewhere along the line that changed and I wanted to make sure I stayed visible and had an audience. That's a double-edged sword; I know I'm more restrained in what I write here now, since people I might talk about are reading this, people I might not be talking about might assume I'm talking about them, and -- well, people are reading, and I am aware of it. On the other hand, knowing people read this makes me update it; when my audience was about three people, I updated only once in a great while.

In other news, people keep asking me for details on last weekend's party. Lets' just say it wasn't my party and they were not my details, so I promised not to confess too much here. I will say, though, that I spent most of sunday in bed; I'll also say that my children were not the least bit surprised and alarmed to find two people passed out in my living room, nor were they in any way concerned to find daddy in bed that morning cuddled up with a lovely woman who was not mommy. "Oh, hi!" they said; "We didn't know you were here!" They're pretty damned cool kids.


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EDIT: This was broken for a while, I fixed it. Yahoo changed something. The RSS functionality on My Yahoo is in beta so that's not a surprise.

This should be working now, but if not, let me know.

I just figured out how to get this to work.

Get The Moronosphere on MyYahoo by clicking here: Add to My Yahoo!

I get Slashdot, Wonkette, BoingBoing, and a couple of other sites this way. It's pretty cool.

So many blogs, so little time



It seems the more I wander around the blogosphere the more I add to the list of blogs I like and want to follow. And of course I can't even begin to keep up.

Geekery -- archives by category


I just added an "archives by category" section to this blog. I am now getting older entries categorized.

Take a look. Let me know if you've got any opinions on the matter. Some of the categories are still being refined (Note that a lot of them are still in "whatever"). But it helps me see what I've been writing about and lets me group certain kinds of entries; and it lets those of you who only care about the sexy go directly there.

I promise. More sex entries Real Soon Now.

Kartoon Elvis



Cartoon Me:

Cartoon Karl Elvis

Thanks to Dani for that image. If you want to contact her, let me know and I'll hook a bruddah up.

Boing Boing: Of Sims and Sex

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Naked Sims Patch.

Ok, maybe I'll finally break down and get the fucking Sims.

Or maybe I'll just let someone else make a Sim Me and send me screen captures.

My Writing

Skull Rings

- sites listed alphabetically -

  • Bill Wall
  • Courts and Hackett
  • Crazy Pig London
  • Dave's Custom Skulls
  • DeadRinger
  • Dog State
  • Flintlock Silver
  • Great Frog
  • House of Wittelsbach
  • Travis Walker
  • MT Maloney
  • Ruby Crush
  • Tony Creed
  • Sinners Inc.
  • Skinny Dog Designs
  • If you want a link here, let me know.

    I don't exchange links, these are all jewelers I personally like.


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