I've got to get an earlier start hiking this morning. The temps are so high that the news is like, warning people. Yesterday I didn't start until ten and after a mile and a half I had to call it off because the heat and humidity were just too much.
Rainy wants to go somewhere and so does Trin and they're both going to have to wake up and get ready because we've gotta get going.
I'm pretty sure I like this new blog (new, I mean, to me), Flinging Dust. After last week's Soci course discussion board I could use all the secular thinking I can find. (And by that, I mean "find online," because I'm completely surrounded and overwhelmed here in Texas.)
I'm thinking I'm a textbook cliché. My World Lit class friend comes out about her rape, I start thinking about the odd reaction I have to rape and sexual abuse, and next thing you know, I'm not only convinced that I'm dying from a weird disease, but I'm up until one a.m. fighting withidiots people on the Soci class discussion board.
I mean, aggression and fear, right?
Though, well, thosefools people in my Soci class needed to be confronted on their ignorance intolerance bias bigotry statements.
It was appalling. It was disgusting. It was completely insane. And I flipping flung myself into the fray. Even though I knew I wasn't supposed to and I'm wondering how it will affect last week's participation grade ('cause my participation, it was extreme...).
People were all going on and on about homosexuality being an abomination, how marriage is created by God and therefore DOMA is right to outlaw same-sex marriage. People actually said that it should be against the law, AGAINST THE FLIPPING LAW, for homosexuals to show any public affection. This poster was going to show, heh, "Christian mercy," she said, and only make it a misdemeanor and not a felony. Another person said that homosexuals should have restraining orders to keep them from ever being around children and if a lesbian happens to somehow give birth to a baby, the state must take that baby away and let a heterosexual couple raise it. A handful of people went on and on about homosexuals deliberately choosing a life of evil and how hell is waiting for them. A ton of people went off on the dumbass argument that same-sex marriage will lead to people being able to marry their dog, or a tree, or their children and that same-sex marriage will lead drectly to incest and sex with animals. (I think the word they were looking for was bestiality... though you know that even if they woulda known the word, they woulda spelled it wrong...)
So, my blood pressure sizzling, I waded in. Because I couldn't take it anymore. And I decided that I'd rather risk losing my weekly 5 points than sit back all silent and passive. Because if you-all haven't checked lately, I'm effing sick of silence and passivity. Sick of it. I think literally sick of it.
So, well, I went all Secular Slayer on their dumb asses . 'Cause that's what I do. And by one a.m. I had actually collected a couple fangirls. Which was kind of odd, because I was kinda thinking it was all Me versus The.Whole.Entire.Class, and I didn't quite know what to do with my fangirls because it brought me up short, having people posting that they completely agreed with me, that something I had posted was "wonderfully put," having a woman actually thank me for my post.
How weird is THAT?
And how weird is it that I go into nearly everything just expecting to be alone and attacked?
Anyway, my fangirls didn't even cheer me up very much. Neither did the fact that I got the last flipping word on every argument I participated in. (Fear me! Fear me, my vocabulary, my mad reasearch skillz, and the fact that I'm more than willing to argue until one a.m.!)
See, what I'm saying is, this was an outlet for me. I mean, I'm not saying it was bad (even if I lose my 5 points). I was a zillion percent right and they were a zillion percent fucked up. And I kinda appreciate the fact that I seriously believe that, as Martin Luther King Jr., said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."
(Yeah. Of course I used that in one of my arguments. As well as Loving versus Virgina. Even a quote from Thoreau. 'Cause I'm never happy unless I can throw some Thoreau into an argument.)
But blah blah blah, right?
Nothing I say is going to change the minds of those Soci classbigots students. And I probably don't have some kind of PBC dread disease. (OKC? Do I? Do you think I'm dying from PBC? Or something? Because it's possible that I am? Do you think?)
I just don't wanna focus on what's on my mind. I'd much rather fight and fret ('cause it's what's COOL).
And now I gotta go hike and sweat.
Later
Rainy wants to go somewhere and so does Trin and they're both going to have to wake up and get ready because we've gotta get going.
I'm pretty sure I like this new blog (new, I mean, to me), Flinging Dust. After last week's Soci course discussion board I could use all the secular thinking I can find. (And by that, I mean "find online," because I'm completely surrounded and overwhelmed here in Texas.)
I'm thinking I'm a textbook cliché. My World Lit class friend comes out about her rape, I start thinking about the odd reaction I have to rape and sexual abuse, and next thing you know, I'm not only convinced that I'm dying from a weird disease, but I'm up until one a.m. fighting with
I mean, aggression and fear, right?
Though, well, those
It was appalling. It was disgusting. It was completely insane. And I flipping flung myself into the fray. Even though I knew I wasn't supposed to and I'm wondering how it will affect last week's participation grade ('cause my participation, it was extreme...).
People were all going on and on about homosexuality being an abomination, how marriage is created by God and therefore DOMA is right to outlaw same-sex marriage. People actually said that it should be against the law, AGAINST THE FLIPPING LAW, for homosexuals to show any public affection. This poster was going to show, heh, "Christian mercy," she said, and only make it a misdemeanor and not a felony. Another person said that homosexuals should have restraining orders to keep them from ever being around children and if a lesbian happens to somehow give birth to a baby, the state must take that baby away and let a heterosexual couple raise it. A handful of people went on and on about homosexuals deliberately choosing a life of evil and how hell is waiting for them. A ton of people went off on the dumbass argument that same-sex marriage will lead to people being able to marry their dog, or a tree, or their children and that same-sex marriage will lead drectly to incest and sex with animals. (I think the word they were looking for was bestiality... though you know that even if they woulda known the word, they woulda spelled it wrong...)
So, my blood pressure sizzling, I waded in. Because I couldn't take it anymore. And I decided that I'd rather risk losing my weekly 5 points than sit back all silent and passive. Because if you-all haven't checked lately, I'm effing sick of silence and passivity. Sick of it. I think literally sick of it.
So, well, I went all Secular Slayer on their dumb asses . 'Cause that's what I do. And by one a.m. I had actually collected a couple fangirls. Which was kind of odd, because I was kinda thinking it was all Me versus The.Whole.Entire.Class, and I didn't quite know what to do with my fangirls because it brought me up short, having people posting that they completely agreed with me, that something I had posted was "wonderfully put," having a woman actually thank me for my post.
How weird is THAT?
And how weird is it that I go into nearly everything just expecting to be alone and attacked?
Anyway, my fangirls didn't even cheer me up very much. Neither did the fact that I got the last flipping word on every argument I participated in. (Fear me! Fear me, my vocabulary, my mad reasearch skillz, and the fact that I'm more than willing to argue until one a.m.!)
See, what I'm saying is, this was an outlet for me. I mean, I'm not saying it was bad (even if I lose my 5 points). I was a zillion percent right and they were a zillion percent fucked up. And I kinda appreciate the fact that I seriously believe that, as Martin Luther King Jr., said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."
(Yeah. Of course I used that in one of my arguments. As well as Loving versus Virgina. Even a quote from Thoreau. 'Cause I'm never happy unless I can throw some Thoreau into an argument.)
But blah blah blah, right?
Nothing I say is going to change the minds of those Soci class
I just don't wanna focus on what's on my mind. I'd much rather fight and fret ('cause it's what's COOL).
And now I gotta go hike and sweat.
Later
Heh, good on you. No, you won't be able to change the minds of any of those idiots, but at least you can knock them out of their "everyone agrees with me" complacency
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing"
Thanks for stopping by the blog. It takes a lot of courage to wade into the deep like you did in the discussion you describe above. Kudos to you for doing it.
Honeygirl, you do not have to force yourself to go anywhere you don't want to be. One thing I've learned around this topic: Your brain is an amazing instrument; it only releases what it thinks you can handle, mentally and physically.
So it's okay to relax. You don't have to *do* anything; your brain and body will take care of you. You don't have to fight with yourself; it'll moderate for you. If it's meant to come out now, it will. Otherwise, your brain and body will take care of you until later. So trust you'll be okay; you don't have to worry about what you're doing or not doing around it.