My vacuum, it is still in the repair shop. (Wherever THAT is. Where do vacuums go for repair? Mine has apparently gone to Bermuda. As in, the triangular part of Bermuda.) Old-sounding Texas-twanging people from Sears keep calling me, telling me there's a "backup" at the repair shop, that my vacuum will be another week, then another week... And I'm distraught.
If you remember rightly, in a previous entry I mentioned that the DirectTV tuner for my bedroom tv is also broken and I cannot call DirectTV until I have vacuumed my room, and I cannot vacuum my room until my vacuum returns from Bermuda.
If you also remember rightly, I have terrible and habitual insomnia and I depend heavily on late-night tv shows that feature UFOs and insects and crocodiles to fall asleep and then back asleep and then back asleep again.
So. I need my vacuum to come home.
***
Another thing, I had a weird dream right before I woke up this morning. I dreamt that I took part in some kind of small orgy. Orgy Light. And the orgy somehow took place in a mall and after the orgy I bought a whole bunch of clothes that I couldn't afford. And in the dream, I somehow forgot about the orgy until I found the bags of clothes and then I was all dismayed that I had, one, bought these clothes that I could not afford, and two, forgotten about the orgy. I was all, 'I never called those people back! They're going to think I'm so rude!'
Like I had bad orgy manners.
Weird.
***
Something else: I apologize to everyone I emailed yesterday abut the expression "sliding rule." The term I was looking for was "sliding scale." I wasted a valuable (heh) thirty-seven minutes of my life grumpily Googling, trying to make "sliding rule" mean "shifting definition" when all I found was a whole bunch of math stuff.
It's further proof that I'm losing my mind; SLIDING SCALE is the damned expression I wanted.
For the title of this dumb thesis I am forced to write for forty-freaking-percent of my World Lit grade.
And writing the thing is, I'm pretty sure, draining my life force. Killing my brain cells. Stealing all the salt out of my body like that Star Trek episode. Something like that.
'Cause I've tentatively entitled the thing:
If you remember rightly, in a previous entry I mentioned that the DirectTV tuner for my bedroom tv is also broken and I cannot call DirectTV until I have vacuumed my room, and I cannot vacuum my room until my vacuum returns from Bermuda.
If you also remember rightly, I have terrible and habitual insomnia and I depend heavily on late-night tv shows that feature UFOs and insects and crocodiles to fall asleep and then back asleep and then back asleep again.
So. I need my vacuum to come home.
***
Another thing, I had a weird dream right before I woke up this morning. I dreamt that I took part in some kind of small orgy. Orgy Light. And the orgy somehow took place in a mall and after the orgy I bought a whole bunch of clothes that I couldn't afford. And in the dream, I somehow forgot about the orgy until I found the bags of clothes and then I was all dismayed that I had, one, bought these clothes that I could not afford, and two, forgotten about the orgy. I was all, 'I never called those people back! They're going to think I'm so rude!'
Like I had bad orgy manners.
Weird.
***
Something else: I apologize to everyone I emailed yesterday abut the expression "sliding rule." The term I was looking for was "sliding scale." I wasted a valuable (heh) thirty-seven minutes of my life grumpily Googling, trying to make "sliding rule" mean "shifting definition" when all I found was a whole bunch of math stuff.
It's further proof that I'm losing my mind; SLIDING SCALE is the damned expression I wanted.
For the title of this dumb thesis I am forced to write for forty-freaking-percent of my World Lit grade.
And writing the thing is, I'm pretty sure, draining my life force. Killing my brain cells. Stealing all the salt out of my body like that Star Trek episode. Something like that.
'Cause I've tentatively entitled the thing:
Holocaust Light?
The Sliding Scale of Genocide - U.S. Non-Engagement in the Biafra War
The Sliding Scale of Genocide - U.S. Non-Engagement in the Biafra War
Can you see how it would be a disaster if I went with "Sliding Rule?"
So I'm sorry if I emailed you, all frantic, demanding that you tell me that "sliding rule" does too mean "shifting definition" or something. Something like that. Sorry.
Hey, should the "E" in engagement be capitalized? Because it's all hyphenated? Should it not be? Tell me quick before I start emailing you.
***
My brain is tired. My brain misses all its Discovery Channel insect shows. I'm tired of thinking about when to capitalize and where to divide a hyperlink and how to format stuff in MLA. I think my head is all clogged up with dust and dog hair. I want my vacuum to come back to me.
That's it.
And look! A whole entire entry! Free of forbidden words!
VAWA! Mitt Romney!
Ooops.
So I'm sorry if I emailed you, all frantic, demanding that you tell me that "sliding rule" does too mean "shifting definition" or something. Something like that. Sorry.
Hey, should the "E" in engagement be capitalized? Because it's all hyphenated? Should it not be? Tell me quick before I start emailing you.
***
My brain is tired. My brain misses all its Discovery Channel insect shows. I'm tired of thinking about when to capitalize and where to divide a hyperlink and how to format stuff in MLA. I think my head is all clogged up with dust and dog hair. I want my vacuum to come back to me.
That's it.
And look! A whole entire entry! Free of forbidden words!
VAWA! Mitt Romney!
Ooops.
I've been dreaming of making sandwiches and other convenience store related things. I think I'd prefer and orgy dream, but my brain would probably convert it to an orgy sandwich.
"Hey, stop squirming like that! I need to slather you with mayonnaise.... and stay on the damn bun!"
I'm not sure if I'm aroused or hungry... ;)
I'm both aroused and hungry. Dreams about food and sex... yes, yes, yes!!!