Soci Class & $$$

Hmmm... Some guy in my Soci class wants to challenge me. Mwah-hah-HA.

I've got some wicked smart blog readers here; what do YOU think?

The assignment for this week's discussion board  is to define the differences between marriage and cohabitation and how DOMA affects same-sex couples. Blah blah, right? I could write the answer to this in my sleep. (In fact, I think I often have.) This is one of my favorite button issues. We're supposed to then reply to the thread of a fellow student.

Here's mine:


Currently throughout our nation, marriage confers benefits that cohabitation does not. Among these benefits are tax and estate planning benefits, government benefits such as social security, Medicare, and disability for legal spouses, employment benefits such as receiving health insurance, taking family leave, receiving the retirement benefits of a deceased spouse, medical benefits such as the legal right to make hospital visits or undertake medical decisions for an incapacitated spouse, death benefits such as the right to make decisions regarding funeral or other final arrangements, and family benefits such as the right to file for adoption of a spouse's child, to collect child support, obtain custody or visitation. According to Lambda Legal, "At last count, the United States General Accounting Office reported 1,138 federal rights, protections and benefits that come with marriage" (<http:/ /data.lambdalegal.org/pdf/fs_whats_in_a_number.pdf>).

 
The difference between heterosexual cohabitating couples and gay or lesbian cohabitating couples is the Defense of Marriage Act. DOMA defines marriage solely as a union between a man and a woman, it states that even if same-sex couples are married in a state recognizing same-sex marriage, the marriage has no legal standing and the couple has no legal rights in states prohibiting same-sex marriage. DOMA further states that the Federal Government will not recognize a marriage between gay or lesbian people. Due to DOMA, heterosexual couples have the freedom to change the legal status of their relationship while lesbian and gay couples do not.
 

When the Defense of Marriage Act denies lesbian and gay couples the rights and responsibilities of marriage, it denies them the fundamental human freedom to participate fully in our society. DOMA is a clear violation of the Fourteenth Amendment and it is based on sheer homophobia and the unlawful merging of religion and government.

Marriage is a legal, social, and personal commitment and to place moral and/or religious restrictions upon the particular sexes of those involved it is to blatantly violate our Constitutional foundation of equality. Marriage is a civil right, and religious and moral opposition should be moot in matters of government. The conviction that gays and lesbians have no right to a social and governmental institution is manifestly biased, inequitable and a travesty of our U.S. Constitution.

Here's what some guy replied to me:

In your post, you stated "Marriage is a civil right, and religious and moral opposition should be moot in matters of government."  What about polygamy?  Playing the devil's advocate (pun intended) on this matter, the government does often intervene in matters of religion and vice versa.  For instance, the practices of school prayer, human sacrifice, or the use of cannabis has been endorsed by some religions but is against/regulated by federal laws.  In 1972, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was modified to require all medium and large companies to accommodate the religious needs of their employees, except in those cases where the cost would be prohibitive.  Marriage, family, government, religion and other social institutions are not truly separate.  In short, the Constitution states that the government can not interfere with religious beliefs or opinions, but can/does often interfere with religious practice.


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Is he saying that prohibiting human sacrifice is an abridgment of religious freedom? Because we could certainly make some exceptions.

I've gotta go hike three miles with my trusty terrier companion and then depo a seven k check in my bank...

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Okay.

So no, I haven't been busily and profitably selling my poor old body this summer (I wish!). And oddly enough, I did not steal or extort this money. And nah, Fan's father didn't leave us anything besides the three fifty dollar savings bonds for the kids (which Fran has not sent yet).

Here's what happened:

Okay. Back in 2004, right? I had that land right next to my old home in Den**i**sohn and that two-bit Texas lawyer moved into my old home and was already sing my property to run his scrawny horses on. And I was so poor that I was three hundred dollars behind on property tax. And so the lawyer made me a low offer and asked that I owner-finance it to him for ten years and he'd pay me one-hundred fifty each month blah blah. Right?

And, as you have all been witness to, it has been an excruciating and humiliating process to get him to pay.

I began by begging. Because that's what poor powerless women do. Begging him to please pay me. "Can't you please pay me, Tim? You're three months behind and I know it's not a lot of money to you, but they're going to turn my power off and we really need the money so can't you please pay me?"

And sometimes he would pay me and sometimes he wouldn't. And I'd try begging his wife, driving up to my former home, pleading with her for my money.

And I'd try to get my quasi lawyer, quasi friend to ask him for the money, and she'd laugh and say, "Tim says he can 't pay you on time, but he can give you stud service."

And twice I had to send him paperwork saying I was going to try to foreclose, and once I even got an appointment with another lawyer (who said there was very little I could do), and after going months and months without paying, Tim would finally pay.

And I was exhausted and furious. This went on for years. And he would get more and more verbally abusive on the phone. When I could actually get him on the phone, I mean. Because he would neither return my calls or emails or pick up the phone when he saw my numbers. And last April, when he was months behind, I called him during my lunch from a classroom where I was subbing. When he didn't pick up, I didn't leave a message.

But he called back, probably seeing it was a school number. I picked up the phone surrounded and covered by six year-olds, and he was furious to find out that it was me, furious that he'd been "tricked" into calling me back. I said I had been trying to get a hold of him because he was so late in paying me again and he totally went off, screaming profanity at me, telling me he would fucking pay me when he was fucking ready to, that I didn't have my money because he hadn't fucking gotten around to sending it. Blah blah.

I hung up, shaking, terrified that the kids had heard him screaming, terrified that I would get in trouble, not be asked to sub anymore. And I was furious that this man could talk to me this way, treat me this way.

So blah blah This story is getting too long... I began to shop the mortgage around, trying to find some place that would buy it off of me, even though obviously I'd be losing money.

Finally, I found a mortgage place and I sold it. I ended up losing three thousand on the deal. I mean, if Tim had kept paying me up until 2014 the amount would have been a little over ten thousand and I just sold it for seven. But I'm happy with the deal. I even feel kind of slightly empowered.

That fucking little bastard lawyer; I will never have to deal with him again. And the place I sold it to, they plan to foreclose on his ass, take the land back and resell it and I freaking hope they do.

I know that thoughts of revenge are a general waste of time, but I hate this guy. I hate-hate-hate him. For treating me like this. Because I'm poor and I'm a woman and he knows he could get away with it.

Making me beg for my money! Telling me that if I meet him at [local bar] he can probably cut me a check. Yelling profanity at me while I'm at work.

To get the last two months he owed me, I had to suck up. The day before the 4th, when I had the final contract all notarized and ready to send in, I knew it was my last chance to get the money Tim was behind on.

I called up my pseudo legal friend who is a lawyer-ish acquaintance of Tim's, and I'm all, "Can you call him? He always pays when you call him. He always listens to you. Can you call him for me and ask him to please pay me? My kids want to get some fireworks and we have no money, can you please call Tim and ask him to pay me? Tell him it's for my kids. I can drive into Sh**er**mann to his office and get the check. But I'm desperate, can you call him for me?"

And she's all, "Okay. He'll pay you if I call him for you. I don't know why he never pays you when you ask. It must be some power thing; Tim's really a nice guy to me..."

And it killed me to drive into his office, thank him for the two-month late check. But I put it straight in the bank and then Fed-Exed off the contract and yesterday I got a check for the purchase of the deed. HAH.

I'll never have to deal with Tim again. EVER. I won't have to beg or humiliate myself. I won't be treated like some poor stupid worthless woman anymore. Hah! I hope they take back the land. I hope he treats this mortgage company (Enhance Mortgage), like he treated me and let's see what freaking happens!

Anyway... gotta go.


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Update. Never mind on the rebuttal thing. The instructor wants us to reply to a different post, not a post replying to our own.