I lay here for a while, telling myself that I need to stop trying to sound all different and stuff on my class discussion boards. Stop sounding like I'm, I don't know, not the same as everyone. I need to stop it. Because it must be very annoying to the rest of the class, having someone always saying weird stuff that doesn't agree with what everyone else is saying. I need to just knock it off.
***
I know how that sounds.
It's just, sometimes I think that thee must be something wrong with me. With me, and not with everyone else. Because everyone else seems to think the same way, believe the same things, and if they're the majority, doesn't that make me wrong?
You all would be shocked (or I don't know, maybe you wouldn't...), at how many women on in my Sociology class seriously believe that the man should be the "head of the household." How many women came right out and seriously stated that they believe their role is to serve their husbands, that he is the man and should be "in charge."
I was all, wtf??? Am I the only one who thinks that's insane? Maybe everyone else in the whole entire world believes that men are superior to women. Maybe women as well as men believe this and I'm the only one not on board and I'm some kind of freak.
***
Or look:
" I do not believe in abortion in most circumstances, I think women to often see it as an easy way out and do not consider the fact that they are killing their child, a helpless baby inside their stomach depending on that person to take care of them and keep them safe until birth. Even at only a few Weeks old the fetus has a heartbeat and organs and is alive. I understand that many women see it as not being a child and they feel they are not ready to be a mother but I say that is something they should have thought about before getting pregnant in the first place and should consider adoption instead of abortion. On the other hand I do not agree with young children such as the 8 year old who was raped being aloud to finish out her pregnancy and give birth so young. I do not agree with population limitations I feel that if someone wants to have children then that is their right. I do think that there needs to be something in place to restrict women having children for the wrong reasons or women who have children and are not able or capable of properly raising and taking care of them."
***
Setting all the abortion stuff aside, this is what I would so seriously like to rely to her:
" I do think that there needs to be something in place to restrict women having children for the wrong reasons or women who have children and are not able or capable of properly raising and taking care of them."
Of course I have to wonder who would be in charge of determining these "wrong reasons" and how these "restrictions" would be enforced. I also wonder what the definition of "properly raising" would be.
Based on our nation's history, I
believe it would be poor women and women of color who would have their reproductive
freedom taken away. I believe that "properly raising" would be used to take
away the children of LGBT parents, of non-Christian parents, of parents living
alternative lifestyles.
It's a slippery slope when we start
imposing personal judgments over the rights of others and our nation has a deplorable history of doing just that.
***
Blah blah blah. I want to go into eugenics and forced sterilizations and all that crap. I want to go on and on and freaking on. But eh. I woke up feeling like something's wrong, like something about me is wrong, and I'm not going to let myself reply.
***
That woman's post reminded me of a conversation I had with an actual blog reader back in 03. She said that women who have to go on welfare services (food stamps, TANF, et cetera), should have their children taken away from them and given to families who can give them a better home. She believed that any woman who is poor should be put on long-term birth control, sterilized, or if she already has children, have those children removed.
I... eh. I'm not even going to continue.
***
It's sunrise, I'm sitting here all glum. The summer is going by much too fast; I'm already starting to worry about work and the kids' schools.
I don't know why I woke up all depressed. I guess I should get up and drive to the park and walk. Except it costs me five bucks in gas to get there and back. Maybe more.
But there's no way I'm going to go out and walk around here. I'd probably end up shot, or run down. There's someone who keeps swerving at me every time they pass me on the highway here in town. It took me three or four times to realize it was the same car. I mean, I kept thinking it was an accident, that someone just accidentally swerved over the line towards me. And then the next week, and then a couple weeks later, until finally I noticed that it was always the same car.
I don't know who it is. I have no idea. Someone from this town, someone with some kind of issue. It just scares me every time it happens, a car suddenly crossing the line and coming at me at seventy miles an hour. I always steer into the shoulder.
Eh. It's not something I can do anything about. It's just one more thing that makes it hard to live here.
***
I should either do something productive or try to do back to sleep. It's useless sitting here thinking I'm some kind of mutant in my classes, thinking my neighbors are trying to terrorize me on the road. I need to either get up and make coffee or go back to sleep and try to wake up feeling less negative...
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