You know what I overheard at the park this morning? During my daily hike? Some guy was in a little narrow, like, canoe boat, fishing and stuff, and another guy was calling to him from the shore.
The other guy's all, "Are you using one of those rubbers? The spider ones?"
And I stopped dead in my tracks. Even Fraction froze. Because I had no idea that arachnid-styled prophylactics even EXISTED.
I resumed my hike, but my imagination was running wild. SPIDER CONDOMS! Do you think they come in different colors? Different species? Like, a daddy-longlegs style? A TARANTULA? (Outch.) Are they, like, ribbed with eight little legs? (For my pleasure?) The possibilities seem endless.
My experiences with sex have been lamentably more lucky than safe, but if I had known that there were SPIDER CONDOMS, I would so, so, so have been all Ms. Safe Sex of the Eighties and Nineties.
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