Blah blah, I'm grumpy. I'm grumpy and Karl says blogging is dead (long live bogging!). I'm grumpy, blogging may be dead, but that's not why I'm grumpy.
I don't know why I'm grumpy. I've been so tired lately. Like I'm sick or getting sick or will soon be sick or was sick in a previous incarnation... idk.
School, my school, the kids' school, my subbing at school, all begin again way too soon. And I don't want them to. I'm worried, I'm scared, I'm tense. What if I still suck as a substitute? What if my success at my new university this last summer semester was a strange anomaly and I suck this fall? What if the stress of getting all the kids up, ready, out of the house by 6:45 (plus, I've committed to picking up and driving Sierra's friend Tora-chan as well...), kills me? What if, tmi alert, after a summer of hormonal normality, I start that 24/7/150 (that's five months), bleeding again? What if I just.can't.handle walking into a new school, a new class, with new students, new staff, day after day and I, idk, DIE?
I wanna stay home, raise little goats and get my MA online. (I want an MA in Little Goats? YES! Yes, dammit, I DO want my MA in Little Goats! Whadaya say about THAT, Mike?)
I mowed a little bit last evening and it calmed me down for a while...But I woke up all stressed and grumpy before dawn and started yelling at the cats.
Because they deserved to be yelled at. Because they are BAD CATS.
These bad cats believe that my bedroom window is a cat passageway. They believe they can freely pass from the outside in and from the inside out, through my window. Because I have a cheap-ass ac unit precariously perched in the window, and every time we all leave we have to remove the ac unit from the window because my old senile-dementia dog Chess freaks out and pushes the unit out of the window so he can jump out, and so therefore I have a freaking constant backache AND the flap things that are supposed to stretch out from the sides of the ac unit to, like, block the window where the ac unit does not cover, are all jacked up... hence the cats freely passing in and out.
And by cats passing freely in and out, I also mean mosquitoes, spiders, wasps and all kinds of effing Texas bugs. I expect serpents to be slithering soon into my room. Serpents and, idk, badgers.
I'm not even going to talk about the complete WASTE of electricity...
And I see now that Karl is indeed correct and blogging is FREAKING DEAD! Because is this all I have to freaking write about? Badgers coming in through my bedroom window? The PROSPECT of badgers coming in through my bedroom window? IMAGINARY badgers coming in through my bedroom window? Because I don't even think that badgers EXIST in Texas.*
***
I should go hiking. I should take my terrier and go hiking. I should pick up another fifteen pounds of slate. But. I don't. Quite. Have the desire or ambition. To get up.
I've apparently even lost my passion for hiking. Rocks have lost their siren song. My faithful dog Fraction waits by the door. But she waits in vain.
Well. This sucks.
* I stand freaking corrected.
I don't know why I'm grumpy. I've been so tired lately. Like I'm sick or getting sick or will soon be sick or was sick in a previous incarnation... idk.
School, my school, the kids' school, my subbing at school, all begin again way too soon. And I don't want them to. I'm worried, I'm scared, I'm tense. What if I still suck as a substitute? What if my success at my new university this last summer semester was a strange anomaly and I suck this fall? What if the stress of getting all the kids up, ready, out of the house by 6:45 (plus, I've committed to picking up and driving Sierra's friend Tora-chan as well...), kills me? What if, tmi alert, after a summer of hormonal normality, I start that 24/7/150 (that's five months), bleeding again? What if I just.can't.handle walking into a new school, a new class, with new students, new staff, day after day and I, idk, DIE?
I wanna stay home, raise little goats and get my MA online. (I want an MA in Little Goats? YES! Yes, dammit, I DO want my MA in Little Goats! Whadaya say about THAT, Mike?)
I mowed a little bit last evening and it calmed me down for a while...But I woke up all stressed and grumpy before dawn and started yelling at the cats.
Because they deserved to be yelled at. Because they are BAD CATS.
These bad cats believe that my bedroom window is a cat passageway. They believe they can freely pass from the outside in and from the inside out, through my window. Because I have a cheap-ass ac unit precariously perched in the window, and every time we all leave we have to remove the ac unit from the window because my old senile-dementia dog Chess freaks out and pushes the unit out of the window so he can jump out, and so therefore I have a freaking constant backache AND the flap things that are supposed to stretch out from the sides of the ac unit to, like, block the window where the ac unit does not cover, are all jacked up... hence the cats freely passing in and out.
And by cats passing freely in and out, I also mean mosquitoes, spiders, wasps and all kinds of effing Texas bugs. I expect serpents to be slithering soon into my room. Serpents and, idk, badgers.
I'm not even going to talk about the complete WASTE of electricity...
And I see now that Karl is indeed correct and blogging is FREAKING DEAD! Because is this all I have to freaking write about? Badgers coming in through my bedroom window? The PROSPECT of badgers coming in through my bedroom window? IMAGINARY badgers coming in through my bedroom window? Because I don't even think that badgers EXIST in Texas.*
***
I should go hiking. I should take my terrier and go hiking. I should pick up another fifteen pounds of slate. But. I don't. Quite. Have the desire or ambition. To get up.
I've apparently even lost my passion for hiking. Rocks have lost their siren song. My faithful dog Fraction waits by the door. But she waits in vain.
Well. This sucks.
* I stand freaking corrected.
"Description. A rather large, robust, short-legged "weasel"; body broad and squat"
Hey, they could be describing me!
Why not? I don't see a problem with an MA in Goat Studies. I'm sure it's fascinating. Just imagine:
In the end, it would probably be about as useful as a degree in Womyn's Studies. I'd say it's a toss-up.
Although the coursework for a degree in Goat Studies is probably a lot more academically rigorous than for a MAWS... you know, since there are real, objective criteria against which your success can be measured. (Is the goat thriving? Is it making more goats? Etc.)
Whereas with the MAWS, you can just kinda make stuff up as you go and - as long as you throw in enough buzzwords - everybody will nod and try to look serious.
Hmmm. I'm beginning to think that Mike is not a friend of the National Association of Radical Lesbian Feminists (NARLF, of which I am a card-carrying member)...
***
And Karl? You can weasel your way into my window any time :)