Every day's like an open door
Every night is a fantasy
Every sound's like a symphony
(Hairspray)
***
Okay. It's official. I'm done with the summer semester. Whew. I just need to hear back on my grades and the feedback re my last half dozen assignments.
Oh. And that reminds me.
I know I've said it before but apparently I haven't said it enough: The only reason I'm such a total rocket scientist around these here parts... is because there is a very, very low bar.
Drop me down in, say, Berkeley or even, I'm willing to concede although I know nothing about the place geographically or otherwise (is it near an... ocean?), Baltimore, and I know I'd be just like, a smudge above average.
A mere smudge above average. While around here, you'll have to take my word for it, I'm a flipping GENIUS. (I don't know if that's incentive to settle down here... or get out as fast as freaking POSSIBLE.)
And as soon as my thesis clears turntin.com, the plagiarism-detection site, I'll post it here (though MLA format never translates well when I try to post stuff here...). (I wonder is Dan's site could host a Word doc?)
What was I saying? I'm trying to email back and forth with a friend (and by "a" I really mean "the," as in, singular), from my English class, and I'm getting distracted.
I'm pretty sure I have more to say... But to sum up: Not a brain surgeon... Except that in a very limited geographic area, yes, I am indeed a brain surgeon. (I kinda like referring to Texas as "a very limited geographic area.." Heh.)
I'm going to try to show my second ppt, the one from my WS class. Dan says I need to post a second link and I'll try here http://www.
Or wait:http://www.
I'm not sure if that'll just go to the last ppt or not... (Dan?)
And just to answer the question before anyone types it... Yes. Yes, I do believe that there are instances when it is appropriate to post half-naked pictures of one's self to one's professor. Yes.
And because, think about it, it's a confusing pic. Is it porn? Is it... art? The thing about it, you look at the pic and first you're all, "She's hott." (I know that was my thought. Heh.) And then you notice she's holding a brand new baby and instantly you're confused, because you're all, "Hmmm... she's hott, but that baby is, like, twenty hours old and stuff and, ewww, she's gotta be all leaking gunky stuff.. and ewww." So see? Confusing. You start out all oooh! and end up all ewww!
And, although I'm sure this does not reflect well upon me or my vagina, that's my last baby, my ten pound baby. That's Rainy and not one of my daughters as I insinuated.
(I was all, "Rainy? You get to have your baby picture in my final project! Except, well, we're pretending that you're one of your sisters..." He sighs, "Great, Mama.")
Regardless.
Tangent: Today I came up with TWO, count em, TWO possible new names for my new
locked blog! One, it just came to me as I was typing. "This Does Not
Reflect Well Upon Me Or My Vagina..." But it's kinda long, isn't it? How
'bout TDNRWUMOMV? Still kinda long.
On my hike this morning, I came up with Gross Oversimplification. But I don't
like the word "gross" because it... well, because it sounds gross.
Wait. That reminds me. You know how I'm convinced that someone is deliberately
leaving piles of rock along my hiking trail? Like, for me? Because I have
either an infatuated or psychotic reader who likes to leave me gifts of slate?
Along my trail? Because my infatuated psychotic reader knows about my ocd
rock collecting issue? You know?
Well. Today there was, like, a partially frozen bottle of water next to the
rocks!
I know!
Spooky!
And no one else on the trail! Just me and Fraction, the rocks and the water!
SERIOUSLY SPOOKY.
In a frozen-water kinda way.
And see, there was no way I was going to even go near it! Because, well, I knew
at once what it was. I knew immediately that even though the bottle was all
sealed and stuff, my infatuated psychopath had used a hypodermic needle to
cleverly inject the bottled water with... wait for it... truth serum.
Yes. Truth serum. That's what I said. Truth serum.
And I knew that if I had foolishly injested the water, I would have almost
immediately fallen victim to the odorless, tasteless, totally effective truth serum and would have been immediately beset upon by my infatuated psychopath who would have demanded that I disclose the password to my new secret super-private locked blog, and I woulda been all, "ilovechickens! sillygoose! i'vehadvariouslydefinedsexualintercoursew/48people!"
And it would've been all downhill from there.
Thankfully, I saw right through the deliciously cold bottle of water trick.
And now I've gotta go...
Both of those links you published today work.
They're big. tssog is about 2 megabytes, and tc
is about 5 megabytes.
I dunno, the bar's pretty high in Baltimore...
...it's all those REAL brain surgeons down at Johns Hopkins. Bastards skew the curve for all the rest of us.
I rest my case. And add Baltimore to my list of places to avoid. (Damned elitist BRAIN SURGEONS!)
(But isn't Baltimore famous for some seafood thing? And I love seafood. And miss seafood. And wish Texas had an ocean...)
(Oh. Texas DOES have an ocean? I'm pretty sure it's not a GOOD ocean. Not the RIGHT kind of ocean. And I refuse to eat anything that comes out of any subprime TEXAS OCEAN.)
(Yes! I DID just had a beer, dammit!)