This is a difficult entry to write. A difficult issue to face. But as a responsible adult this is something that I must do. [Deep breath.] I need to issue a warning to everyone I ever had sexual relationships with and I know that several people read this blog and so I am starting here. I need to warn you all to immediately get tested; you may have contracted an STD from me. I am so, so sorry and all I can say to excuse my behavior is that I was young, careless, and apparently did not ask the right questions of my past sexual partners. Especially, yes, and it is so hard for me to write this, that question. The question. And because I did not ask, because it apparently never occurred to me to ask, I have been exposed and I may have passed that exposure on to many, many [many] others. It's so hard for me to confess, to even put this into words, but I must. So here it is: I have been sexually exposed to Republicanism and may have passed the infection on to others.
And I know: the disease can lie dormant for years and years. You may go through your life happily supporting a woman's right to choose, championing universal healthcare, never knowing what deadly and insidious sickness lurks within you until one day, unexpectedly, out of the blue, you find yourself ranting about the homosexual agenda and declaring that rich white males are now the new oppressed minority.
I live in dread that I have contracted Republicanism. From semi-sleeping-with Larry back in the late Eighties, possibly early Nineties. I live in terror that I have not only been infected by Republicanism but that I have passed it on to the hapless Liberals I have had hapless sexual relationships since then.
So please, please, I'm pleading with you, if there's a chance that you had sex with me, please get checked out. And warn your other sex partners that they, too, may have been endangered by my folly. Please, before it's too late and we're all listening to Limbaugh, tuned into Fox News, and imposing our own so-called morality onto others.
This was a painfully hard entry for me to write. I have had to overcome considerable shame to even admit that I recklessly allowed myself to be exposed to Republicanism. Please let my terrible experience serve a purpose, let the risk I have placed myself and others in not be in vain. The only safe sex is liberal sex; ask political questions before you take off your clothes. Learn from my mistake.
And I know: the disease can lie dormant for years and years. You may go through your life happily supporting a woman's right to choose, championing universal healthcare, never knowing what deadly and insidious sickness lurks within you until one day, unexpectedly, out of the blue, you find yourself ranting about the homosexual agenda and declaring that rich white males are now the new oppressed minority.
I live in dread that I have contracted Republicanism. From semi-sleeping-with Larry back in the late Eighties, possibly early Nineties. I live in terror that I have not only been infected by Republicanism but that I have passed it on to the hapless Liberals I have had hapless sexual relationships since then.
So please, please, I'm pleading with you, if there's a chance that you had sex with me, please get checked out. And warn your other sex partners that they, too, may have been endangered by my folly. Please, before it's too late and we're all listening to Limbaugh, tuned into Fox News, and imposing our own so-called morality onto others.
This was a painfully hard entry for me to write. I have had to overcome considerable shame to even admit that I recklessly allowed myself to be exposed to Republicanism. Please let my terrible experience serve a purpose, let the risk I have placed myself and others in not be in vain. The only safe sex is liberal sex; ask political questions before you take off your clothes. Learn from my mistake.
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