Too hot. Struggling with assignments. Poor. Finally made an appointment to get an annual exam plus thyroid panel. Ninety-five bucks, which made me feel horribly guilty. Bad for spending money on myself. Also horribly scared, because I'm afraid the doctor visit will turn up something terrible, something I'm better off not knowing (especially without health insurance...). I'm struggling not to cancel appointment. Part of me is all yelling at me: "Don't you think the kids are going to need school clothes? How can you waste ninety-five bucks like that!" Another part, more insidious, is all, "If you have cancer again, do you really want to know?"
Now I feel worse.
Great. I'm canceling.
Now I feel worse.
Great. I'm canceling.
Don't cancel! I feel I can bully you on this topic since I too am without insurance and I sure as hell only have greater levels of poverty in my future. I felt very similar going to the doc for the lyme test but then what good would I do my kid with chronic lyme which could bring several varieties of disability. Back away from that phone and don't cancel.
Eh, I'm still going back and forth...