Recently in geek Category

iPhone 2.0



MacRumors and other sites just posted about an early release of the iPhone 2.0 software here.

While I can't say I recommend being an early adopter, I've just downloaded and installed it.

The new iPhone is about to be released (tomorrow). No, I don't know when I can get them. I'm at least as anxious as you are, I've got my credit card in my hand, ready to order one as soon as they turn up for sale.

(taps foot)

UPDATE: the AppleInsider is advising against updating at this time; with the new iPhone out today, users who update are having trouble getting the updated phones working. I suspect that'll be resolved shortly, but hold off and check for updates here.

internet jones



What makes me know exactly how important the internet has become in my life is how nervous it makes me to not have it.

This morning, while waking up over a cup of peet's, I was was ripping CDs, looking up details about a particular jazz sax player I've been into lately, paying a couple of bills, and checking weather for the day to see if it was going to be warm enough to ride to work.

In the middle of all this, comcast suffered an epic fail, and completely crashed my entire city (as they later told me on the phone, though without using those exact words).

The thing is, that entire list above was just what I was doing as I sipped my coffee; all at the same time. For people like me with short attention spans, multi-tasking is a natural sate. Real life doesn't support multi-tasking very well; I can't scramble an egg while I read a book, or change my oil while I drive to the store. But I can check a bank balance at the same time I pay a bill, or read about a sax player at the same time that I read his discography and look up details about the kind of horn he liked to play.

So when I lost my connection, and it began to be obvious it wasn't just a temporary fall-out, I began to get very, very twitchy.

Particularly when I'm still sleepy, I need something to do with my hands. In the old days I used to read newspapers; typically while standing in the kitchen. I don't want to sit down when I first wake up; I need to move, get blood flowing. I need to get my brain awake with some sort of simple, tactile activity. Information, with only minimal interaction. Don't talk to me in the morning, I tell people; you'll get at best grunts and growls, and maybe worse if you start asking question.

When I began to switch from newspapers to the internet for my morning information dose, it was a dove-tail fit; all the info I wanted, something to do with my hands, and the ability to interact only as my brain woke up. The ability to do five things at a time, with no idle waiting.

This morning I find myself increasingly agitated. I hate waiting

When does something go from being a toy, a novelty, to being a ubiquitous part of life? When does it go from being a convenience or a source of entertainment to being something upon which we depend for most basic needs?

My kids have no memory of a time before the internet; indeed, when I do the math, many of today's college students don't remember a time when they could not email or web browse. While my co-workers all remember a time when 'internet connection' meant a dumb terminal and a 2400 baud modem, if you happened to have such a thing at home, and when email was something you used at work. But remembering the time when only über-geeks knew what internet meant does not help me today; I am as dependent on connectivity as any twelve-year-old WoW player.

(I lose sooo many geek points, as Jeff Hoooooover points out; it's WoW, not W-O-W. I doth hang my head in shame. Ok, fixed, but still...)

Brave New World in Gray



I know. I know. It's scary in here. Different. It's ok. Really. It's the same old moronosphere with a new skin. Change is good, they say, and if it isn't, change is still change. The real story is that I've just upgraded to Movable Type 4.1, and because the folks at six-apart feel the need to change things completely, whle feeling no need at all to maintain backwards compatability, everything in my blog design had to be abandoned in order to convert. It took me a really long time to feel ok with that. But I think I'm there. And I gotta say, this took a hell of a lot less time than trying to convert everything, even if the result is somewhat grim. I=n fact I managed to do this in between tasks today while waiting for builds to finish Don't worry, my logo, at least, will come back. I'm attached to it. I just have to figure out how these fucking widgets work.

Sad Songs of Server Troubles

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You may have noticed we're having some server instability around here; comments disabled for various moronosphere-hosted blogs, server not responding, etc.

For those of you I host, you'll have seen it as well when you try to post.

We're working on it. We have several small problems that are adding up to a systemic pain-in-the-ass, and solving these issues has more to do with bandwidth (ours, ie, time to work on it) than with any seriousness of the problems.

Fixes should be in place soon, though we may have some downtime somewhere in the next week or two while we update things. I'll post warnings before that happens.

Nerd Handbook



Rands In Repose has written a frighteningly, hysterically accurate piece called The Nerd Handbook.

"Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer. It’s clichéd, but a nerd is defined by his computer, and you need to understand why.

First, a majority of the folks on the planet either have no idea how a computer works or they look at it and think “it’s magic”. Nerds know how a computer works. They intimately know how a computer works. When you ask a nerd, “When I click this, it takes awhile for the thing to show up. Do you know what’s wrong?” they know what’s wrong. A nerd has a mental model of the hardware and the software in his head. While the rest of the world sees magic, your nerd knows how the magic works, he knows the magic is a long series of ones and zeros moving across your screen with impressive speed, and he knows how to make those bits move faster.

The nerd has based his career, maybe his life, on the computer, and as we’ll see, this intimate relationship has altered his view of the world. He sees the world as a system which, given enough time and effort, is completely knowable. This is a fragile illusion that your nerd has adopted, but it’s a pleasant one that gets your nerd through the day."

Read the whole thing. If you're reading this blog, you almost certainly are that nerd, or live with that nerd, or have at least dated that nerd. You know exactly what Rand is talking about.

(Thanks to my dear, sweet Merrick for sending that to me!)

gadget porn



test post from new iPhone


The above was posted from my iPhone, pictured below.


get thee thy jesusphone



Ok. It's time. Go get your iPhone.


I don't get mine 'til late july (we get ours after you get yours - hell, I have the same philosophy in bed, so I can't argue). And no, I can't get you one, I can't get me one, apart from the one-per-employee apple's handing out as a thanks for the incredible amount of work we've all been doing on this project.

If you manage to score one, let me know what you think. I still ain't actually seen one in person, for all the hours I've put into getting the chips and boards out.

new digs



Its one of those funny things when you get a new one and it's just like the old one. Like those weird people who get a new car and get the exact same car they had before (yeah I'm talking to you, Lisa).

If you're readin' this it means you're now on a shiny, fast and new server. Basically, if you see a difference, it means I broke something.

disruption is my way of life



Due to an unexpected schedule change, The Moronosphere and all it's related blogs and domains will be moving to a new physical server this week. Not the best timing for me, personally but I live here by the good grace and generosity of my friend Brandon, and so I am grateful even if a bit frazzled.

What all this means is that this site may unexpectedly vanish for a day or so while we change ip addresses; comments may cease to work while databases are moved.

If that happens, don't worry; being a fly-by-night sort of operation, we're flying-by-night (oh god stop me from quoting a rush song). Things should stabilize by next week, on bigger, better, faster hardware.

tatjana with her hammer



For some reason this video is oddly hot. I can't quite identify why.

(courtesy of Bikinirama)

(Click the pic - I'm sorry i can't embed that. I've yet to figure out a workable way to embed quicktime in MT posts. I've tried all sorts of voodooo and it never embeds correctly.

Movable Type 4 beta2



EDIT: The error below was my fault, i fucked up the install. On a second try I got it right.

They've fixed quite a few bugs, which is good, though the interface problem remains un-addressed. So it is progress, if not in the interface.

Six-Apart have released a new beta (beta 2) - which doesn't work at all, won't even load (click the image below to see a beautiful error message):


They did admit there are some issues with the completely bolloxed up interface; they 'solved' this by combing two obscure pulldowns into one obscure pulldown, while not seeming to see the core problem of hiding all the frequent tasks behind pulldowns and page loads.

[sarcasm] and there was much rejoicing[/sarcasm]

They really don't get it; but at least i finally got noticed and responded to by the people at Six Apart. They're not stupid, so the question is only, will they get what they did wrong or will they keep trying to band-aid a death-wound. It's about a coin-flip on that one right now.

Movable Type 4 beta - yuck.



And now, a geek interlude.

(mmm. 'ludes.)

I run this blog (and those I support) on Movable Type. I know there's a vast, imaginary religious war between WordPress users and Movable Type users, though in fact my loyalty to Movable Type has more to do with my expertise in the tool (I can put together an MT blog from scratch, including a download and most major plugins in about five minutes).

In any case, being a major geek, i always get excited when there's a major new version of a tool I use. I check every damned day for updates on when ecto3 is coming out, for example.

Yesterday, Brandon told me that MT4 had just entered Beta. And even though I'm way too busy to work on something like this, I still had to go download and install it.


There are a billion new features. It really looks, in a lot of ways, like they've merged the best of vox and typepad with MT. Reading about all they've added and fixed, i'm loving the product.

But then I actually used it.

Ain't he Funky



i just figured out how to make ring tones for my phone in iTunes, and xfer them via bluetooth.

Here's my current ringtone.

Now I just need to find a good (free) app for OSX or Linux that lets me clean up the audio, boost volume, and do fades.

Rock 'em sock 'em ceos - why my boss can beat up their boss

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BoingBoing posted this spot-on attack on what Fred Amoroso, Macrovision's CEO, calls an open letter to Steve Jobs.

Cory says:

The CEO of Macrovision has sent an open letter to Steve Jobs telling him off for speaking out against DRM. Macrovision is a company that makes abusive DRMs (the system that stops you from hooking up your VCR and your DVD player in series, the system that stops your TiVo from recording "accidentally" crippled Fox shows, etc), that had the great good fortune to get its technology mandated under the DMCA. That meant that it could charge anything it wanted to the entertainment industry for its nonfunctional anti-video-user technology, and it proceeded to hose the living hell out of Hollywood

And then quotes from Amorosos's nonsense:

DRM increases not decreases consumer value – I believe that most piracy occurs because the technology available today has not yet been widely deployed to make DRM-protected legitimate content as easily accessible and convenient as unprotected illegitimate content is to consumers. The solution is to accelerate the deployment of convenient DRM-protected distribution channels—not to abandon them. Without a reasonable, consistent and transparent DRM we will only delay consumers in receiving premium content in the home, in the way they want it. For example, DRM is uniquely suitable for metering usage rights, so that consumers who don't want to own content, such as a movie, can "rent" it. Similarly, consumers who want to consume content on only a single device can pay less than those who want to use it across all of their entertainment areas – vacation homes, cars, different devices and remotely. Abandoning DRM now will unnecessarily doom all consumers to a "one size fits all" situation that will increase costs for many of them.

As Cory says, this is utter nonsense. I don't think even Amoroso actually believes this; the idea that protected media will be cheaper has never been true, and there's no reason to think it will be true in the future.

What he's saying, simply, is this freedom stuff threatens my wallet.

Go check out Cory's post. As usual, he gives brilliant rant.

clue detected: thoughts on music



I gotta say I'm pleased to see that Apple's CEO (some number of regressions of boss up the ladder from me) has a fucking clue about the failure of DRM and the music marketplace.

Read: Steve Jobs Thoughts on Music, or BoingBoing's excellent excerpt here.

It's what I've been saying since we started selling music; I'd buy more from the iTunes store if I could really own the music I've bought. A buck a song ain't bad for all-rights music, but it's steep for broken music files (and by broken, I mean, disabled in such a way that it's use is limited).

Big four music companies? That sound? It's the sound of a clue knocking. Open the door.

Appliance Porn



This is one of those things. You'll either get it or you won't.

I am absurdly excited about this.

The new washing machine & dryer were delivered today. Thus, Appliance Porn.

Img 3940
Here's the old one. When I got it, eight, ten years ago, it was pretty much the best on the market; but it's astonishing how much laundry two little girls can make in that time.

Now, I do the laundry. So I care about this shit. And that thing did an ok job in an un-sexy way. It's pretty much this, where the new one is more, you know, this.

But the time has come to retire the 'ol neptune, and move on. So here's the new one.




I've talked to a few of you about the project I've been busting ass on since before xmas - up nights supporting a development team in another time zone, etc.

Here's why:


It won't be out 'til june. But I want one.




I dunno what the hell zlist is but i seem to be #18 on it (or something like that). So, you know, go click the up arrow and make me #1.

google disappearing sex blogs



I knew this already but BoingBoing has a good page on it.

From BoingBoing:

A number of bloggers who cover topics related to human sexuality say they've suddenly disappeared (or at least been deeply demoted) in Google search results. Popular "indie" blogs that deal with nonfiction sex ed or indie alt-erotica fare (Tiny Nibbles, Comstock Films, ErosBlog, and others) have suddenly vanished to much lower ranking in relevant search results -- even when you have Google's adult filter turned off. And in practical effect, being buried is just as bad as being filtered out entirely.
The apparent drop appears to coincide with changes Google recently made to their keyword ad program, AdSense.

I saw this sort of thing a couple years ago - google made a change like this and suddenly legitimate sex-related businesses like my friend Doxy's Phone Slut Diary vanished from the google rankings while sites that spammed and used all sorts of keyword chicanery were still at the top of the charts.

It was fucked up then and it's fucked up now; they punish the real, valuable sites and do nothing to slow down the cheaters. Our own Chelsea Girl is one of the blogs axed by google, along with Bacchus hisownself, and my man Tony Comstock and a lot of high-profile sex bloggers.

I'm not sure what to do about it; if the team at BoingBoing are head-scratching, i'm pretty well stumped as well. But dammit, it's yet another reason google are getting up there in competition with m'soft for the title of great satan. Fuck 'em

Update: Xeni at BoingBoing is saying this is fixed, and it may be for high-profile sex blogs, but google hasn't fixed the root cause; Chelsea's, for example, is still google-censored.

Firefox 2



Firefox 2 was just released, and I have to strongly suggest that anyone not running Safari move to this new Firefox right now, particularly if you're still running Internet Explorer.

I've been running the FF2 beta for several weeks and it's a seriously cool browser, even without a lot of tweaks and plugins installed. They've fixed bugs, plugged security holes, and made leaps and bounds in terms of improved performance.

Go get it. God, please, get the hell away from Internet Explorer, all of you!

I just found a page of cool, simple firefox hacks you can do with no plugins. I love this kinda shit.

MTLJPost fix!



The most excellent Gavin of Kode Koan just got me an incredibly simple one-liner fix for MTLJPost, an MT plugin that cross-posts MT to LiveJournal (MT 3.x broke it.)

If you read me there, you can see it works again!

This fix is cake - in your MT install, edit this file:

      [MT Root]/plugins/MTLJPost/

Change this line:

      $t->param('TRACKBACKCOUNT', $entry->trackback_count);
      $t->param('TRACKBACKCOUNT', $entry->ping_count);

And that's it. It should start working.

Thanks, Gavin!

video geeks?

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Anyone out there set up to convert VHS tape to some sort of digital format? I've got a tape I need to transfer to some sort of high-res digital video format (quicktime or some such).

Compute like a Pirate



Not only is it Talk like a Pirate Day. We all know that.

But it's also Compute like a Pirate Day.

My laptop.

Img 3261-1

Get yer own here, matey!

pimpin' it out

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You may notice some adverts here and there around the m'sphere.

Which ain't exactly piracy, but you know, you do what 'ya gotta.

I'm tryin' this out after helping a hot and lovely friend research ads. They may not stay, we'll see what i get in the way of filthy lucre.

dollars and $ense



A sex-blogger friend 'o mine needs to get some advertising revenue coming in from her blog; I of course know very little about getting ads set up on a blog, particularly when it's a blog of the adult variety.

Anyone out there know much about this? I have no idea where to get started, between the mainstream ad sources (Adsense, the built-in ad system on typepad, etc) and adult ad providers.

I need words of wisdom on where to start with it. Actually getting the ads working is cake, but I dunno where to start with rounding up advertising for a blog with adult content.

the öutstretched grasping hand



The Motörhead logo is back.

I am the one, Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.

I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit
I am the emperor of lies, you grovel at my feet
I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain
And still you play the sycophant and revel in you pain
And all my promises are lies, all my love is hate
I am the politician, and I decide your fate

I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
Your bones will build my palaces, your eyes will stud my crown
For I am Mars, the god of war, and I will cut you down.

Because I löve you all. Vïcïôüslÿ.

drinkin' the koolaid



I found this font I couldn't resist. So we're temporarily the, you know, kool-aid-o-sphere.

Thanks to the lovely-and-talented Miss Syl, font geek and photoshop bitch extraordinaire.

mod-rewrite grokage



Anyone out there good with mod-rewrite?

I'm trying to do something really simple but I'm not getting some key point.

I just wanna do:
redirect to

I know that's dead simple but for some reason I can't get my head around it today.

Mad Jack Kidd



Hey, I like it.

Pirate Name-2

My pirate name is:

Mad Jack Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from

A hearty lift 'o the grog-flask to me fine wench Metis for sending' it my way -- ARRRRRRrrrrrrr!

3.3 Beta

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We're up and running on the final MT 3.3 release candidate. Fingers crossed, we may have a full release on it by the end of the week.

Bleeding Edge - MT 3.3 Beta 2



I just upgraded my MT install to MT 3.3 Beta 2. Which isn't, I guess, truly bleeding edge, but I like the phrase bleeding edge.

If anyone has troubles, let me know. This new MT version has some cool features, I'm only just starting to play with them.

Tap Tap Tap Tap



Here's a thing of true brilliance and beauty.

What happens when you combine 200 liters of Diet Coke and over 500 Mentos?

It goes something like this.

MT 3.3 beta



Update - The MT 3.3 Beta has been released.

I encourage MT users to get on board and help test - I'd like to see this release go GA shortly, it's got some REALLY cool features. I'm not planning to upgrade this-here space yet (not 'til they get to at least beta version 2 or 3), but it's looking pretty solid in my beta-testing blog and I've seen no major bugs yet.

SixApart are about to start a beta test of Movable Type 3.3.

The plan as of now is to install that here - maybe not the day it comes out, but shortly after. I'll likely (If I have time) install 3.3 as a separate installation first to drive it around and see what's different. If any of you-all who have m'sphere blogs are interested, I'll point you to it.

I have not seen a change list to see what they've added, but I'm hoping it's 1) good stuff and 2) doesn't break anything.

While I think MT is the best bloging platform out there, I'm not sure how confident I am in SixApart these days; they seem like they're letting things get away from them on TypePad and of course they're spending cycles supporting LiveJournal, which is possibly the worst blogging platform around, if the one with the largest customer base. I'm hoping they get control of that shortly.

Rock Paper Scissors... Monkey?



Maybe it's just me. But I think this is incredibly funny.


It's a 25-gesture version of the classic Rock, Paper, Scissors. Here's the chart, and the list of the possible gestures with how they play with other gestures. Though you know, they need to make it 26 - Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shocker!

Ok. Maybe it's just 'cause we used to sit around making up variants - like Llama, which beat everything, but then died, so you could only use it once. But I'm wishing I could actually memorize these well enough to play these. I knew there would come a time when I wanted all those brain cells back.

(Props to BoingBoing for the find)

The 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time



This is an interesting list.

PC World's 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time.

Leaving aside for a moment that they're not talking of all time since these items cover no more than about the last twenty years, i have some points on which I stronly agree with inclusion, if not order, and some interesting omissions.

So let's start with agreement.

sound tools?



Anyone know a good, free, easy to use WAV file editor for OSX? (Or an mp3 editor, I can convert it).

I've got this sound file I wanna post - an inadvertent voice mail - but it's ten minutes long, with a lot of dead air. I need to chop the gaps out, and take out the bits that identify who it is. It's a wrong number, but still.

But I can't find anything that's worth a damn that's free. Such a beast has to exist. I tried 'Wave Editor" but had nothing but trouble with it, it wrote out a horrible-sounding file and then started crashing. I don't need anything sophisticated, just something that will let me chop out the gaps.

Geek Support



I'm trying to help a non-techie windows user ftp upload a bunch of data to my server for safe storage.

Trouble is, when I think ftp, I think unix/macos command line (the way I do it):

     [motorhead:~] kmac% ncftp -u username

So I need to direct said user to a good, easy to use windows tool/method.

It's been six years since I've touched a windows machine. I have no idea what to set her up with.

Help a brutha out, windows geeks.

Browncoat weapon lust



Ok, my geek is showing.

This is where my fetish for knives crosses my geekery.

I've been looking for months for where I can get Jayne Cobb's Bowie Knife from Firefly.

I've wanted a big-ass bowie knife for years. I've got balisongs, switchblades, straight-razors, tactical folders, bayonets, daggers, throwing knives, a million kitchen knives, machetes, pukko knives, buck folders and buck hunting knives, swiss army knives, opinel folders, gerber folders.

But I don't have a bowie knife, and I've wanted one forever.

So I just ran across something on a browncoat site identified that BFK (Big Fuckin' Knife) Jayne carries. And of course, I want one.

The Rough Rider Patrick Henry Liberty Bowie Knife:


Of course, it can't be that easy. It's out of production. The only company I can find that has them for sale is taking back-orders, but can't tell me an ETA. On the other hand, I know a guy (who is an order of magnitude higher in geekdom than I) who makes an exact replica of Jayne's sheath. Which means that, if I can ever find the goddamned knife, I also can get the sheath I want.

Ok, now, who's giggling at the word 'sheath'?

I know. I know. Geeky. I can't help it. I have weapon lust. I must have that knife.




I just got hits in my logs from "buckeye, arizona" and from "surprise, arizona".

And I'm thinkin'...

Well. You know what I'm thinkin'.

Back in the saddle again



Ridin’ into town alone
By the light of the moon
I’m looking for ol sukie jones
She crazy horse saloon
Barkeep gimme a drink
That’s when she caught my eye
She turned to give me a wink
That make a grown man cry

Ok. Gots me a new computer. Seventeen inches of throbbing computational power, right here in my lap.

Ok, not the MacBook pro I was hoping to lay hands on; we're sellin' em fast as we can make em so there are none to go around internally yet. But still, bigger, better, faster.

Now maybe I can write something that ain't so damned sulky.

Comment Freaky Styley



I just found a trick at LMT to make author comments show up differently than comments from the peanut gallery.

I tried this out yesterday in Hiromi's blog (which worked out pretty well) so today I added it to my blog.

Still tuning but I think it's pretty cool, it make it clear which comments are author replies; not that useful here but really useful for Hiromi, who is the queen of comments. I'm still tweaking around with her comments over there to get the best display but I'm likin' the way it works out.

(This is what I do when I'm sick - that cold I was fighting all last week finally won, and I feel like crap. Which I just typo'd as 'feel like carp', which may be how I feel, like a fuckin' carp.)

bännër pläy



As you may have noticed, I'm foolin' with my banner. Brandon, who is the man, found my motorhead font so I made a new clix banner and then started playing with my header banner.

I'm not done with that but if it looks goofy, that's why. My photoshop skills are improving but I still suck at it.

The font is here if anyone wants it.

I need this font



I need this font.

If anyone sees it anywhere, point me the way...


(and no, this isn't the font called "motorhead", which would be too easy. that font is some ugly thing that someone slapped the motorhead name on)

Personal Pages, Profanity



Well now. I've been upgraded - or downgraded - or degraded. Or just, you know, graded. Feels like that, or maybe that's more grated, and it feels like that as well.

Secure Computing, the motherfuckers who sell STOOPIDfilter to repressive countries and companies, agreed that I wasn't Pornography, sex.

Evidently I'm Personal Pages, Profanity, with a side of Personal, Mature.

Well, fuck yeah. That's me. The Moronosphere, ProfanityBlog.

Because we're all about the effword here.

Maybe it's mature that bothers me more. Who you callin' fuckin' mature? We ain't got no fuckin' maturity here. Not a sausage. Not a drop. Not a fuckin' cc, baby.

I guess the point is that the people at Secure Computing listen if we complain, but they still do the wrong thing and slap a fucking label on something they don't get.

I'll have to see if we're still banned in the fuckin' UAE. They're not allowed pornography, let's see if they're allowed to read the effword.

black bars over our eyes



I finally figured out why some of my friends can't get to my site from their places of employment, and why my friend Arvind, the brilliant young developer of MtBlogRoll, can't get to my site at all from the United Arab Emirates. is on the SmartFilter blacklist. I'm listed as a "Pornography" site and a "Sex" site; which means that any company or nation that's decided to babysit users like nursery-school kids find we're too evil for tender little eyes. This includes all the sites I host under, but not sites with their own domains.

You can read about the utter stupidity that is SmartFilter on BoingBoing, who are likewise blocked.

You can check your own sites here:

I'm not yet sure if there's any way to get that listing corrected. I'm working on it and I'll post here if I find out.

Network fuckedness




I picked a hotel partly based on free high-speed wireless in room.

Which is great. High signal, rippin' speed. Only I can't get VPN in to work. And that's where my email is. All of it sucked off of the apple corporate mail server, and off of the engineering mail server, onto my own private, secure disk space on my own server in my office.

Which is behind a firewall. The castle walls are high and I'm outside, portcullis down, drawbridge up. Moat fulla piranha.

I don't care about, you know, work-related mail. But me own personal mail, THAT I want.

Did I mention, grumble?

My gmail is reachable if you wanna get me (fan mail from some flounder, dirty notes and filthy jokes), but I can't respond to anything at my usual addresses until I 1) figure out what in the local network is fucking me, or 2) get home later this week.

At least I can still blog.




I'm playing with, which is kind of cool. I got a plugin for itunes that reports my listening habits (spyware I installed on purpose - really that's a wrong idea but it's still kinda cool).

I'm working on a good way to do dynamic updates on my blog but haven't found a good way to do it yet. But then I haven't tried very hard.

Still it's cool to see the charts when I have iTunes shuffling at random all day.

One more day, then it's vacation time. I'd be counting hours if I had enough time.




For full coverage of this story, click here.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend pussy hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.


Thank you BoingBoing and Charles.

(People keep telling me these links are broken, but they work for me - trust me though if they worked it would be REALLY REALLY FUNNY!)

Set the Wayback Terminal



There are a few of my readers who will look at this and say oh my god yes I remember that and the rest of you are too young or not geeky enough.

But this is hysterical. A terminal emulator for OSX that acts like one of those old wyse terminals. I just downloaded this, and started having flashbacks to days in the computer lab (writing porn on flickering green terminals just like this).


(Cory just put this up on BoingBoing - Hey Cory, it's Karl Elvis not Karl! -- Props to Samsarra for finding this)

In your eyes I see a thousand lives, where do you come from?



In your eyes I see a thousand lives,
Where do you come from,
Where do you belong.

     --Dave Davies, Where Do You Come From

I look at my logs all the time - because I'm that kinds of guy, part OCD, part detective, part complete geek - who likes to see the man behind the curtain. The kinds of guy who needs to know how it all works.

Anyone with a sitemeter knows what I'm talkin' about, though I also have urchin installed on the server, and run a couple other web-based counters and have in the past used tools like mint to track hits.

But whatever you look at, whatever slice and dice of the data you have, it's still the same shit, who's visiting, when, from where, and how did they get here?

There are several useful, interesting or amusing data points to be had from looking at web server logs.

The one that's usually good for the most mirth is the google search string (and I use the term in the generic sense because we could be talking about hits from yahoo or msn or aolsearch or any one of a hundred other search pages). People search on the silliest, most amazing things, and someone, somewhere has to be collecting it all and will produce novels or art or poetry all based on such things. I look at my log now and see 'wrist and had tattoos', 'dorothy parker', 'dirty stories', 'Everything up 'til the killing will be a gas', and 'pyro junkies'. And that's just one sitemeter page. This can make me giggle any day.

But there are other things that are useful. I get to know certain hits by location. I know who's likely to be getting me from illinois, from eugene oregon. A few from Austin. Certain key spots in Florida. Vancouver. A couple in town here, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, San Jose. Key users in europe. Couple buddies in New Mexico and Arizona.

I know who these are by the ISP and the location (not always the location you'd expect, my home IP shows up as coming from a totally different end of silicon valley than I actually live in, something about how the ISP has things configured). I know by (sometimes) browser type, OS. For most of my friends, I sorta know when you've visited. I know partly because you're the ones who hit without a reference from a search engine, or sometimes because you show as referred from your own blog (clicking from your blogrolls).

The ones that I ponder over though, and the reason for this post, are the ones I see regularly whom I don't know. I puzzle over certain entities. Someone who hits me from Sunnyvale CA with an ISP listed as No idea who you are, but I see you regularly. Hits from San Francisco, or from San Jose. You're not in my mental list of readers I know. Readers in New Zealand. Readers in Texas who are not the usual gang of blogger-freinds (People from Dallas or from College Station). Kent, Washington. Buffalo, New York. Blackpool, Lancaster (I want to say, how's that count of holes coming, but no that's blackburn).

It's funny because I feel like I should know who's reading. I get a lot of hits from some of the strangest places, google and other blogs I'm bloggrolled on, places where someone will link to some entry like my one on jessie combs, or on driving my jeep in a kilt, or my old 'what's fifty-six' entry. Those I understand though. It's the ones who are clearly regular readers, yet unknown that always makes me wonder.

What I work on, can I have one?



It takes a lot of sexy to make me lust for a computer.

Now, lusting after the flesh and blood, well, you know about that. And lusting after certain inanimate or mechanical objects, sure. I mean, look at my obsession with skull rings, or something like the car from Supernatural.

But computers - well, you know, I've never owned a computer. I have one, but it's a tool for work and pleasure, it belongs to my employer, and that's fine. I've always gotten by with what I can scrounge from work.

For the first time ever, I looked at this machine and said to myself (Self, I said), I want that.

The new Apple MacBook Pro:

MacBook Pro

This is the outcome of the super secret product I couldn't talk about last summer. This is what my team have been working on - the intel based macs - since April. And it's cool to see it come out, and even cooler to think, this thing we make, it's good and I want it.

Santa's Little Whore



I love what I find in my sitemeter.

I got hits today on the phrase "Santa's Little Whore".

I love it. C'mere, Santa's Little Whore, wherever you are!




Ok, I'm on my second play-through of Resident Evil 4, and I have to say, I love this game.

I'm not a huge video game guy. I lose interest in 'em pretty quickly for the most part. I don't care about high scores. Never played a lot of donkey kong or mario, though I loved Asteroids, Tempest, Pac Man. I don't spend a lotta time with my PS2. But I do love the survival horror games.

I don't wanna do a full gave review - lots of sites have that. But I have to say, this game has more going for it in terms of sheer fun and creepieness than any other game since RE2.

It's a winner. Great weapons, hard game play, some good puzzles. all sorts of new features, including the ability to buy and sell (and upgrade) weapons. AND a storyline that kinds-sorta makes sense.

Good stuff.

Santas and Hackers



So evidently sometime yesterday, a group of bad-boy hackers got in through a back door on our host server. They didn't do anything that we can find other than to steal bandwidth to do a buch of port-scanning, though we're doing a more complete scan. No harm no foul as far as moronoblogs are concerned, our database is free of corruption (well, other than that which we put there our own selves).

But I just wanted to tip the hat to Brandon who spent his friday doing battle with the forces of evil. As far as I know, he got the security hole plugged late last night, with very little help from me. Time for me to study up on security so I can be more use next time.

So I'd intended to (try to) repeat last year's bad santa challenge, and do another holiday-themed dirty story. I've utterly failed at that, not even starting such a story. Maybe next year I'll do better, but meantime, you owe it to yourself to read these wonderful tails of holiday depravity:

Because Papa Noel is a Bad Bad Man.

I'd love to have more to add to this collection, so if any of you feel motivated to write a holiday-themed erotic tale, by all means, do. They don't all have to be santa-themed, nor even specifically xmas.

And I need to get myself writing again. It's in there, I just can't seem to get it out.

MT Style Randomizer

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Man, this is cool.

Arvind Satyanarayan and Brad Choate have built a random stylesheet generator for MT. It basically takes the default Vicksburg stylesheet and randomizes the colors (after lettting you choose 1, 2, or 3 columns). It's a great way to preview lots and lots of ready-to-install color combinations (some beautiful, some freaky).

YOu can click away until you get something you like and then download it. You can use it as is or use it as a sample for how to do things with the basic stylesheets.

And mostly it's just cool to click and watch the colors change, man.

Movable Type Random Styler at Movalog

You know, It would be really cool if you could install the randomized on your blog. Not that I'd do it here but some of my other side blogs, it might be fun...

TiVo fixes the overlap problem



God, finally TiVo fixes the overlap problem.

Always before, if you set a show to record 1 minute over, tivo would then ignore a following recording. Now, with a software update just released, Tivo has a fix for this which causes the higher-priority show to 'clip' the overlap from the lower priority show.

This has been one of my biggest annoyances with TiVo for years. Maybe they're finally gonna start fixing some of these little annoyances...

New Toys for Big Kids



So, I have this iSight web cam. And I never use it, even though, you know, you'd think I would.

But I just download a new application that's simply too much fun - PhotoBooth.

I've been playing with this all day, when I should be working on my stupid self-assessment for my stupid review. But this is far, far more entertaining. It has a set of funhouse-mirror sort of effects that are just fucked up.

domain monkeys



I'm monkeying with my domains - changing dns from zoneedit to a local nameserver and so forth - so if you have any trouble getting to any of the blogs (or editiong your own blog if you're one of the bloggers I host), it should be temporary.

Why? Just because I can.

Ok, I got all my domains (well, almost all my domains) migrated to my local dns servers from zoneedit. Zoneedit has some nice features (The ability to do mail forwards easily), but I got tired of getting bills for zones I didn't have. I'm now using local nameservers hosted by the good folks at ThePlanet

I also registered several variants on my domain name, - .net, .org, etc. Why not, I figured. They're not all live yet, but eventually they'll all forward to here, at least until I have reason to maintain more than one site. I'm finding the whole domain hosting thing very entertaining; I think something like Globe of Frogs and five minutes, a few clicks, and a small payment, it's, just like that.

Of course then I think, why'd I register that. But whattaya gonna do, sometimes you just can't help it. It's kind of a caps for sale thing. You Monkeys You!

Never Learning

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Geez, you would THINK I would learn.

I'm not doing nightly database dumps on my new server. Yeah, I meant to, but...

Anyway, I just bolloxed up my main template while I was working on someone else's.

Luckily, I have some copies that are a month or so old, and was able to restore quickly, but why the fuck don't I have one from last night? I'll tell you why - I'm a fucking moron.

But you knew that.

Anyway, I'm now setting up nightly dumps again, while I check with my sysadmin to see what he's doing about mySQL dumps. Because I'm reasonably certain he's not as lame as I am...

Ok. I think I hacked most of my changes back in. If anything looks really fucked up to you (well, other than the content), let me know. And now I'm makin' mySQL backups as well...

How much I really hate you all



This is just how much I hate you all. I'm going to stick this stupid song in your heads.

Magical Trevor
Magical Trevor 2
Magical Trevor 3

Because Badger Badger isn't evil enough, not even when you get the xmas badgers or the lotr badgers.

I blame it on my dear, sweet Booty Girl. Boots, I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson now - watch out!

MTLJPost v1.9.2

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If you're one of those people who maintain a movable-type blog for actual blogging and a LiveJornal so you can comment on friends journals, you might like MTLJPost, which lets you automatically double-post your MT entries in your LiveJournal.

I think this thing rules, but it broke when I switched to MT3.2.

It's fixed - new version, v1.9.2.

I love this thing, it's too cool.

Image stash

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I just figured out that ecto, my blog editor (and dude if you're not using ecto, get on it, it rules, at least on the mac) keeps an image cache of all image uploads. So I have this whole directory full of images I'd uploaded in the past.

I'm right now pushing them all up to my server, so the broken image links in old posts are almost all being fixed with no intervention on my part.

Let me know if you find any broken image links anywhere, I'm sure there are a few, but most of 'em are working now.

Once again, ecto saves me. I love ecto.

New Digs



It's like moving into a new house that looks exactly like your old house.

So I jumped the gun last night and transferred to it's new home. I figured out how easy this was gonna be and just did it.

Things should be a little faster, that's about all you should notice.

M'oving M'sphere



'Cos I'm moving on up. You're moving on out.
Movin' on up. Nothing can stop me.
Moving on up. You're moving on out.
Time to break free. Nothing can stop me,

Time's come to find a new home.

What's this mean?

Well, not much to you, the reader, nor to my friends for whom I host blogs. Other than a short downtime and then some (hopefully) much better performance.

Basically, I've been hosting this blog by the generosity and good grace of my friend Seth, for nearly two years. I owe him a great debt, he's asked for nothing, and given me space and bandwidth and support. He's helped me recover from a couple crashes, given me full root access, trusted me not to break anything, and let me monkey to my heart's content with his server.

Thanks, Seth, and thanks, Jen, for suggesting I start up a blog when all I wanted was a place to park a domain I had hanging around.

But all good things, and all that. I'm hosting a few blogs now, and we're using more bandwidth, and I need backups and some management tools to handle things I've been doing by hand. I got an offer I couldn't refuse from my friends at

So I'm picking up and moving this weekend. If you have any problems getting to this week, it should be short-lived, but let me know about it (click my name down there near where it says 'comments' and 'permalink', or any-damned-thing at will get to me).

I'll post an update when I get moved over, and for those of you whose blogs I host, I'll let you know before I take things down, so carry on blogging until otherwise advised.

Empty Archives


...yes, I know the category archives for this site seem to be empty. I'm playing with dynamic indexes to see if I can speed up rebuilds. Not quite working yet, and I'm not sure why.


I couldn't get that to work. It required some .htaccess surgery, and I couldn't get it to produce any output.

The idea is that you route the web server request through a php pre-processor and generate the pages on the fly rather than writing out index pages for everything, which is a great idea for pages people don't hit that often. But something wasn't right so I've tuned back to static publishing.

All Moved Back In

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With Ecto working, I was able to post all the archived stuff from July 17 on; so I lost nothing but posted images. I had it all saved in Ecto's cache.

So we're now complete, in effect. Broken image links I'll try to replace, though I may not get to all of them. But the work is all still here, and (shortly) completely backed up.

The Ecto problem was actually a Movable Type 3.2 bug.

In short, there's a very minor problem in I looked at the code and the fix seemed to be moving a single line up before some particular is THING installed check in the perl code, which supports my notion that MT was looking for some package or other that my install didn't have, but also didn't need. That's a guess, though.

In any case, I have a patched version of installed, and am posting happily with ecto again. Six Apart (Movable Type's owners) have not announced the fix/patch yet, I would assume because they're testing it; I expect to see a release shortly.

This was the piece missing in MT 3.2 as far as I'm concerned; this was what stopped me cold with the blogging, because I'm so used to working in Ecto, I can't blog any other way. With Ecto back, I should be able to update more.

That's assuming I ever quit getting horribly depressed from reading Ray's Katrina entries. It's getting so I'm afraid to read the news...

Ecto Works!

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A tiny bite of good news. Ecto works. Six Apart just got me a bug fix.

Yay! I can update some things now...

Now, with Extra Piracy!



It's a whole new moronosphere here, now with extra Piracy.

Let me know if you have any problem with the way this displays. Let me know if you like it.

If you hate it, get on your knees and practice your oral skills.

I started out just porting my old look to new templates, but then when I found Arvind's Style Generator I got kind of inspired to go three-way.

And then I did something really smart. I asked for help.

The fabulous Doxy went above and beyond the call and did a stylesheet, and some graphics for me, and sat here with me tweaking and adjusting until we got something I think looks pretty damned good. She gets 100% of the credit for what looks good, and I get 100% of the credit for what doesn't.

Now maybe I can actually get back to blogging.

If this looks fucked up on your browser, try shift-reload, and if that doesn't fix it, try blowing away your cache. That should fix it. I've checked it on (MacOSX) Safari, Opera, IE, Firefox and Mozilla, and it displays fine on all of them for me.

Template Hacks

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I just found Arvind's Movable Type Style Generator.

Boy, is this thing cool.

I'm working on a new stylesheet for this site, you can see what I have so far here. It needs some more work, and I may try to do a three-column layout for it; I want something that still feels like this site, but that looks a little more updated.

I started over from scratch there with a new three-column template, so ignore the colors, that's all gonna change. I started working on getting the side-bar content ported over. Some of it's easy, the new templates are a little more intuitive in some ways, but I got stalled out with the category and calendar bits. Calandar because I need a good example for a 3.2 calandar (the new MT docs STILL suck for examples), and the categories because I want a pull-down menu like I have with the old template. Issue is, MT's category system is a lot more complex than it was so I need to delve deeper to port that to my pulldown.

I also need to fix a lot of the archive templates; the permalink/individual archives look ok (not great, but ok), but the category and date archives are still scrod.

Yes, I'm geeking out really bad.

Got Backups?

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Ok, I feel better.

I got mySQL database dumps going on our server, as I had before, but I also am automatically copying them to a remote machine nightly. I test this tonight via a cron job but it worked when I launched it manually. So starting tonight I'll have dailys and we won't risk loss of more than a day of work.

Obviously I should have done this a couple weeks ago. And I knew that. But at least I can get back to writing about something other than technogeekery.

Hey, MT32 users? How the hell can I turn on comment notifications? It seems obvious but I can't seem to locate where the knob is for that feature, and MtNotify, the plugin I used to use for notofications, barfs in 3.2. I don't want to miss a single word my lovely readers say.

Note - we're now running on the non-beta version of MT3.2. Weeee!

google talk and adiumX



(this entry copied from my blogspot blog)

Mac users who want to use the new Google Talk (I'm not sure why you would want to, honestly, we already have more than enough chat clients and chat protocols, but, you know, what the fuck), adiumX supports it, but it's not exactly obvious how.

Take a look at these directions, but basically you have to add a jabber account with your gmail address, and then add the server and port under options ( and port 5222. Check "use tls encryption", and click 'ok'.)

You should then be able to chat with google talk users.

Google is starting to seem more and more like microsoft, I tellya. They're out to rule the world.

Climbing back from the Primodial Ooze








I'll have more here shortly. Yeah, I know images are broken. This is also a restore from an incpomplete archive.

Meanwhile, I'm blogging at, and Ray's at

But we're giving my creation LIFE!

Everything you never wanted to know about Apache

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I pretty much spent today working on Apache.

Found a backup!

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I found a backup from July. Whew.

We can patch it back together, somewhere. The later posts can be gotten from google cache. Still, I'd rather we get Seth's disk recovered.

Where and when rises again, we'll see. For now I'm here, and soon I hope to have a forward from that address to here.


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(this entry copied from my blogspot blog)

I don't know why I'm writing this. I have nowhere to post it.

Last night sometime - late, I'm not sure when, but late, because readers first noticed it then - our server crashed. is hosted by my friend Seth, on a machine he keeps at his house. This isn't a service. I don't pay for it. It's something he offers me because we're friends, because his lady Jen and I have been friends for well over a decade.

But this isn't a commercial service. There's no support. I'm on my own, I just get space and bandwidth free. No problem, most of the time, because I'm an old unix sysadmin type; I know how to install perl packages, I know how to hack into a mySQL database if I can't find the password, I know how to configure a web server. In short, I can do whatever I need to keep MovableType running.

But, this being just some guy's machine, I'm working without a net. There are no automated system backups. No striped and mirrored drives.

I know that. Sure. I do. And I make my own database backups, automated nightly. For months I've been meaning to figure out how to automatically transmit those to someplace off-site.

So last night, my luck ran out and the machine crashed; or more exactly, the data disk crashed, hard head-crash from Seth's description. I used to work for Seagate building and testing disk drives, I know what this means. I've seen the carnage of a bad head crash.

We have no backups to speak of.

I don't know what Seth lost. I know data was lost there. But my blog - almost all of it - is gone, wiped out. Nearly two years of work. Plus my Fiji blog from last year, and a blog I keep with stories I'm working on.

But that's not the worst of it. The worst is that I host other people. Ray. Buck. Circe. Samsarra. A few others. I let them down by not keeping my backups, my database dumps, off-site.

Ok. All is not lost. The disk goes to a recovery place tomorrow, and in 5-7 days we hope to hear that the disk isn't a complete loss. Fingers very much crossed there. And I may still have some of our old files stored in my home directory at work where I archived them after a previous database crash. That's at least a year back, but it's something.

There's also hope that some of our work can be re-gathered from web cache servers out there; I have a few things archived on my laptop (thanks to ecto). Not every word of it is gone.

But I'm without a blog. That's the thing that hurts right now. I write this and can't share it. is my home on the internet, and it's a dead-end now. I can't even tell anyone what happened. I shout at the empty space and not even an echo returns.

Seth, friend that he is, will get a basic web server up shortly, so we can at least tell the world 'yeah we're down'. He may decide to re-build his machine, he may not, I'm not sure; I may need to find new hosting, someplace where they can give me a unix shell access so I can do this right, someplace where I pay, but get the security of backups. What I'd really like to do is set up a co-located server of my own, but I'd need to charge people to host blogs, and it seems sorta silly

Set me on fire - kereosene!

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This sort of pointless toys the web is made of.

Set Yourself On Fire:

Coollogo Com 268223147-2

Set me on fire
Kerosene around, something to do
There's Kerosene around, find something to do
There's Kerosene around, find something to do
Kerosene around, find something to do
Kerosene around, she's something to do
Kerosene around, set me on fire
Set me on fire, Kerosene
Set me on fire!

google goodness

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You know, there are a number of reasons to check one's hit logs. See if traffic's up or down, see if hits are coming from some other web site that's linked to me (Thanks Ang, I got mad hits from coolios); see which old entries are getting hit.

But one of the very best things is to see the weird random googlings that lead you all to me.

I get an absolute shitload, for instance, of hits on fucking 'taco flavored kisses' because I once quoted that stupid south park song in an entry about taco flavored cheese (ick). I get hits and hits and hits from searches on the tasty Jessi Combs. I get hits on jazz stuff, on peanut butter fudge recipes, on the phrase "Trample Me"

And I get hits daily on the phrase "Skull Ring".

But the funny stuff isn't the stuff I've specifically blogged about. For some reason, I get hits at least weekly on the phrase "Daddy fucks me" or some variant; "daddy fuck me hard", "fuck me so hard it hurts". "fuck me kitten" showed up today. And every time I see one of these in my logs, I get this stupid grin on my face.

I really should capture these on an ongoing basis somewhere, build a page out of them automatically. It'd make an excellent geek project.

Edit: I just got another one, for, get this, girls sticking live fish up there (sic) pussies.

And I wanna ask, who are you, who's googling that?

[made with ecto]

working on sundays

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Dammit, I hate working on sundays.

Still struggling with a perforce problem. My tar process got the files moved over, finally, but now I have to nuke about 100 million files.

Can't these fuckers come up with a way to *extract* meta-data? I have to copy the fucking thing and delete (obliterate, in perforce terms) everything I don't want.

They need to think about offering a real database back-end, I tellya. The proprietary db model is getting old.

Grumble, grumble. I'd rather be at a strip club.

[made with ecto]

TiVo go WiFi

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A geek interlude. Because I can always talk about THAT.

So I just converted my two TiVos to wireless, using a couple of D-link DWL-122 USB wireless adapters.

Which actually turned out to be more of a pain than I expected, the TiVo setup interface is a little lame. But I got it working, which is cool. I get to remove phone lines from another thing in my world; one step closer to going VoIP.

I was expecting to be able to use the TiVo To Go feature to download stuff and burn it to DVD; but the fuckers don't have Mac support.

Assholes. I like the product. I really, REALLY don't like the company.

Still, this lets me xfer shows between the two machines so I can store movies on the less-used machine, and it means I don't get the odd-hours effect of having my TiVo try to make a call on my phone when I'm on the line.

All in all, an improvement. And TiVo will get my nastygram about lack of Mac support tomorrow.


I talked to TiVo and evidently they're tracking requests for this, but they don't have a release date. If you're a mac user and a TiVo owner, do me a favor and call TiVo and request OSX support for TiVo To Go (877-367-8486).

[made with ecto]

Comcast 1, SBC 0



So the Comcast installer-guy showed up right smack in the middle of the assigned window, and it was a two hour window, so that ain't bad. Points so far.

And yeah, no problem, I can tap into the cable line I already have so I don't have to run a whole new line under the house -- a big pain, the way my house is laid out.

Only -- oops. The cable line in the bedroom? Totally non-functional. God knows how long ago that went south, I don't think I've used that TV in a year.

So a quick plug, configure and go is now starting to look like an all-day job for this guy.

It's True



Yeah, it's true. Those of you watching the news knew it friday. Apple on Intel.

It's been an interesting couple months since I found out - I'm one of very few people who knew this. Now, the people I work with know and it's like a shockwave around the campus.

Gonna be interesting...




After pointing Buck Daruma to ways to do blogrolls, I decided to test-drive MTBlogroll.

This is a MovableType plugin by Arvind Satyanarayanthat will manage a blogroll locally in your MovableType mySQL database, instead of keeping it on someone else's web site like BlogRolling.

The advantage is clear; faster, since it's local, and you don't depend on an external site to be up. It also have a number of features I like, one of which is that it can import my existing blogrolls. And of course, i have much more control over it.

It was easy to install and easy to configure, though the docs are minimalist at best and the template changes caused me some confusion.

There are a few downsides though -- the main one being that it evidently can't do 'recently updated'. Now, for a roll of static links, that's fine. Particularly for things like non-blog links. I don't care when they're updated. But for things like my Daily Reads list, I depend on that (so it's annoying when blogs don't ping the right sites to make this work).

In short I'd say that this works really well aside from that feature; I'll be switching my Daily Reads back to blogrolling, but I may put my static non-blog links into my local roll since I don't often update that.

For sites I host, it's up and ready and working, all you need is a template hack and to load in your blogroll; mail me and I'll show you how or do it for you.

Giant Head, Scourage of Network Cables



So the thing with mooching server space and bandwidth from friends is, there's an upside and a downside.

The upside is, I get all this free for nothing but love. This blog, and several others I host, like Austin Ray.

The down side is, you get what you pay for. You pay in love, you get love back, but love ain't reliability and support. No redundant network connection.

This means we have a certain level of vulnerability.

for example:

...the network line comes in to Junior's room, but the hardware had
been hidden under his loft. Since we redid his room we have not yet
rebuilt the loft, so the hardware's exposed to his giant head to
accidentally bump out of the wall.

Well. That there explains why we've been off line a lot the last couple days. Watch that head, Junior!




Hey, this is cool.

I just installed a new version of MTLJPost, an MT plugin that automatically posts my MT blog entries on LiveJournal. This way, I can blog once, yet I'm not neglecting my LJ user friends.

Ray, if you wanna turn this on, let me know, I'll show you how. It's super easy.

Technically Difficult

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Sorry, I know the blog was down for a bit. Minor difficulties.

Things are up and working again now...

Fuck Me So Hard It Hurts



So I check my sitemeter all the time. Not so much because I care how many hits I'm getting, though that's vaguely interesting. But because it's interesting, educational, and sometimes amusing to see what search terms I get hits from.

Spanking Art is a huge one. Hits on that many times every day. Live Wrong gets me a lot of them too. Erototoxins did for a spell but not so much any more.

I got a couple, a while back, on Spanking Policeman which got me laughing. No idea why that hit me. I get tons from searches on Skull Ring and quite a few from related searches, Crazy Pig and Tony Creed.

I get tons of hits from Tattoo and Kilt searches. I'm staring to get some for Hold Fast.

You know, the stuff I talk about.

But today I got one that simply delighted me.

Fuck Me So Hard It Hurts, the search was on.

Who are you, oh AOL user who found me that way? Did you find what you're looking for? I can't tell, since it was an AOL search and I can't see the results page.

But I must say, there's nothing anyone can say to me that will delight me as much as that phrase. Well, I can think of a few things, from a few people, mostly involving the word "yes", but aside from that, Fuck Me So Hard It Hurts is music to my sick, twisted ears.

C'mon. Say it to me again.

Nobody's Fault but Mine

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That monkey on my back
The monkey on my back, back, back
Gonna change my ways tonight
Nobody's fault but mine

I will get that gun tonight
No-no-no-no-nobody's fault but mine

     --Led Zeppelin, 'Nobody's Fault But Mine'

You may remember the recent utter collapse of livejournal. Well now, Diaryland has taken a similar crap:

8:51 pm: UGH. Diaryland has been down for several hours. Two out of three drives in the RAID array on the main web server died for some reason, so we have had to put up a new server and copy the site over there. No entries are lost, we have backups of those and the database servers are fine. The main problem is just that we now have to regenerate all the diaries from backups on the new server, which unfortunately will take a long time, overnight at least, because there are so, so many. The order they are regenerated will be all the gold diaries first, and then by the time the diary was last updated.

I can't believe this has happened on the new server after the exact same thing happened 2 months ago on the old server and we moved the site to this one, it's absolutely unreal. This whole day has been a total nightmare for me, it's so stressful and depressing to have to go through this whole ordeal all over again.

- andrew @ diaryland

This is why I self-host. When my server goes out, I have only myself to blame. When I corrupt a database, as I did a couple weeks back, I get to go hack around and fix it. Nobody's Fault but Mine.

Speaking of self-hosting, check out Doxy's new home-away-from-home, Phone Slut Blog. She's still maintaining her old Phone Slut Diary but this new one should see more frequent updates. As with everything Doxy does, this is well worth a read.

And now I'm off to see a my friend Tricia to talk about a most painful tattoo. But later when I complain, remind me -- Nobody's Fault but Mine.

blog hackery again



I should not try to hack on my block when I'm fulla pharmacuticals, but Doxy got me started wanting to fix some things.

This space may look all fucked up for a bit more. I'm trying to roll back to a fully-functional two column layout so I can start over. Should be better fairly soon though.

Either that or I take the rest of these pills and, well, after that, who will care?

Purple again!

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Ok. I'm back in a functional three-way layout.

Three-Way. Say it with me.

It's still fucked up on Safari. I've come to the conclusion that this is a Safari bug, though, and am reporting it as such to Apple. If you're a Safari user, sorry; I feel your pain, I use Safari and it annoys the fuck out of me. But I'm not going to design to a bug in one browser.

Now I just need to find the lead developer for Safari and get him in a sleeper-hold until he fixes this shit.

Under new Deconstruction



I'm still having layout problems -- something is goofed up with my templates and I have not had time to sort it out. I've temporarily gone back to a default template without my changes while I sort out what broke.

Should be more together in a day or so.

Meanwhile, if you have a San Jose Mercury account, you can read a very shallow bit of an interview I did at PantheaCon:

Pagans work magic, turn some heads at San Jose hotel.

The bit that's actually relevant is:

...So what's with the kilts? Turner said she likes ``men in skirts,'' but they have no great religious significance.

Karl Elvis MacRae of Saratoga, a software engineer for Apple Computer, was volunteering at a kilt stand. He's not a pagan, he just likes kilts. ``Men have worn un-bifurcated garments for thousands of years,'' he said. The kilt offers freedom, especially when it's hot out.

Why not just wear shorts?

``Not as much of a breeze in shorts,'' he answered. And he sometimes wears it to work. ``You know, it's Apple.''

Template Troubles

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I severely broke something in my templates. It's been fixed now, mostly, though it still doesn't render right in Safari, the browser I prefer.

One or two /div tags in the wrong place and things go haywire, I tellya.

Still working on it but it should be fixed for must of you.

Squid Overlords



I don't understand it. But I want it.

Squid M-1

Three Way -- all the cool kids are doing it



Right, you think I mean...


I just switched to a three-column layout for this blog, copying Austin Ray because he's my bruddah and if he thinks it's cool, I think it's cool.

Tell me if the rendering on this is all fucked up on your browser. I've tested it in Mozilla and Safari, and in Firefox. Firefox and Mozilla may need a force relead (thats is, I think, hold down your shift key while you click reload). I think they cache teh css file. If it looks fucked up, try that and let me know if it's still broke.

Whackity Spankity



The title of this entry is from something Kenny used to say when describing self-indulgent soloing in bands we went to see. The kind of playing that's all about the player and his ego, not about the song or the band or what belongs there.

He'd describe the guitar solos as "so much widdly-woo" (Which he'd illustrate my miming Eddie Van Halen type two-hand playing on the fretboard, coupled with the sound effect "Widdly-widdly-widdly-widdly-wooooooooo"), and the bass flash everyone was doing 15 years back, funk-inspired finger and thumb popping, he'd describe as "whackity-spankity".

The phrases are still in my head; several of us still say "yeah, yeah, widdly-woo" about over-blown guitar solos. But I also still say "whackity-spankity" all the time, not always remembering what the origin of the phrase was.

Anyway, the point of this was that I just changed my sitemeter settings and I'm seeing a lot more of the google search based hits on this site. The funny thing is how many I get from the words spanking and spanking art.

And I'm not even a big spanko.

Truly funny. I feel like I should be writing about spanking to try and live up to this, so people who cruise by here looking for spank-porn don't walk away disappointed.

Not that I'm adverse to dealing a good, sound spanking. C'mon over and I'll show you. I love it when my hand stings too much to go on any more. But you know, that's just not high on my particular list of fetishes and perversions.

Bet you dollars to fucking donuts though, this entry gets me another several dozens hits from google searches.

Date-based archives, new and improved

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I learned a useful MovableType trick from Chuck, who has Pie in the Lunchroom.

It's a really simple MT hack that sorts entries in the date-based archives in ascending, not descending order.

Descending makes sense on the index; you want to see the latest, not the oldest. But when you look at the archives it's sort of non-intuitive to work back. You want to read oldest to newest.

The change is super-simple. Just edit your Date-Based Archive, and replace this code:


With this code:

     <MTEntries sort_order="ascend">

I think you can do the same thing with category archives but I'm considering if that makes sense or not.

Thanks, Chuck!


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Our server went down last night around 3am EST. We have not yet figured out why. But if you tried to read this space
late/early, that's why. Everything seems fine now but we're making backups to be safe.

Why Does Windows Still Suck?

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Mark Morford of SFGate asks the seemingly obvious question:

Why Does Windows Still Suck? / Why do PC users put up with so many viruses and worms? Why isn't everyone on a Mac?:

Here, then, is my big obvious question: Why the hell do people put up with this? Why is there not some massive revolt, some huge insurrection against Microsoft? Why is there not a huge contingent of furious users stomping up to Seattle with torches and scythes and crowbars, demanding the Windows Frankenstein monster be sacrificed at the altar of decent functionality and an elegant user interface?

I don't know. If I knew, I could fix it.

Booting a Dead Badger



This is deeply fucking strange.

Installing Linux on a Dead Badger: User's Notes

Let's face it: any script kiddie with a pair of pliers can put Red Hat on a Compaq, his mom's toaster, or even the family dog. But nothing earns you geek points like installing Linux on a dead badger. So if you really want to earn your wizard hat, just read the following instructions, and soon your friends will think you're slick as caffeinated soap.

Minimum Installation Requirements:

1. one (1) pocketknife
2. one (1) screwdriver, flathead, to install Duppy card (see item 4. below)
3. computer with:

  • CD drive
  • USB, Ethernet, or a free slot for wireless networking card
  • Telnet or SSH client installed
  • cyberspiritual controller program such as FleshGolem (Mac OS X and Linux), Phranken (Windows 98, ME, 2000), or ItzaLive (Mac OS 8.1-9.x and Amiga)
[ . . . . ]
7. privacy
8. one (1) dead badger, good condition

Ok, so the exact obscure geek oddity of this will be lost on many. But it busts me up.

Tag, I'm it



I'm just reading up on how to use Technorati tags.

It's an interesting idea. The two main uses I've seen in MT blogs is to convert either keywords or categories into tags. I've got a cool plugin for MT that automatically converts keywords, only, I don't use keywords.

I've also got an applescript in ecto that converts my categories into tags. You'll see what it does at the bottom of this entry.

What I really want, though, is a plugin that does this automatically in MT; I choose categories or keywords as usual, and then the MT plugin automagically makes them tags when I post. I don't know if this exists yet, but either I'll write it or someone else will. I'll have to study up on how to write MT plugins, I guess.


Ah, now that I re-read the tags spec, I see technorati are already honoring MT categories so I don't need to do anything to make this work. It's only useful if you use keywords and want them honored.

Teach me to read the spec...

Technorati Tags: {, , }

rss to LJ

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I'm testing how the RSS feed of The Moronosphere works on LJ. You can ignore this posting, or if you're Fredlet and love test postings, show me some love.

My Writing

Skull Rings

- sites listed alphabetically -

  • Bill Wall
  • Courts and Hackett
  • Crazy Pig London
  • Dave's Custom Skulls
  • DeadRinger
  • Dog State
  • Flintlock Silver
  • Great Frog
  • House of Wittelsbach
  • Travis Walker
  • MT Maloney
  • Ruby Crush
  • Tony Creed
  • Sinners Inc.
  • Skinny Dog Designs
  • If you want a link here, let me know.

    I don't exchange links, these are all jewelers I personally like.


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