I wanna jump but I’m afraid I’ll fall
I wanna holler but the joint’s too small
Young man rhythm’s got a hold of me too
I got the rockin’ pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu

Well, I finally listened after several people said go to the doctor you stupid bastard. And you know, you people love me more than I love myself, it’s true. Why won’t I listen?

Anyway, the diagnosis is that I have Walkin’ Pneumonia.

That’s as opposed to the on all fours barking like a dog kind, or the on my back with my legs in the air like a dead bug kind. So I guess that’s ok.

Doctor-man says that I’ve likely had this for like, a month or six weeks. Which explains why I’ve been feelin’ like sandy-assfuck without a kiss for the last three weeks. I only noticed it when it decided to move to also being some bronchitis with a side of sinus infection.

But now I have giant horse pills, an order to stay in bed for a couple days and be waited on by nubile slaves, and a chest x-ray with my nipple rings showing clearly as great big white circles. So I’ll be heading off to bed and doing my very best to do not a fuckin’ thing for at least two days.

(ok I made up the part about the nubile slave girls, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have them or that they would not make me better just that much faster)