Author: elvis

Put on ‘yer Daisy Dukes

elvis8 Comments

I’m in the grips of full-on motor madness, à la Mister Toad. This all started because of my kids (really). See, I drive a jeep wrangler. And that’s a great vehicle, if impractical; it can take the beating, it goes forever with only minimal maintenance, it looks great dirty or scratched or dented. And in […]

I’m in the grips of full-on motor madness, à la Mister Toad.

This all started because of my kids (really). See, I drive a jeep wrangler. And that’s a great vehicle, if impractical; it can take the beating, it goes forever with only minimal maintenance, it looks great dirty or scratched or dented. And in the summer, i can take off the top and doors, so getting into and out of the back is easy.

But in the winter, the hard top is on. And if you’ve ever gotten in and out of the back of a small car, you know how this is. Jeeps are small; really small.

When my kids were small, this was nothing. They could scramble in through the back like hamsters in a habitrail, and they loved getting in and out of a car this way. Only, they’re no longer small. The big one, just turned 13, is as tall as I am, with longer legs, and she has my build (mile wide shoulders). The little one (eight and a half) is almost a foot taller than most of her class mates, and while not built as much like a linebacker as I am, is still a burly kid.

So gettin’ em in and out of the back is starting to be a pain. They fight over who has to ride in back all winter, when we have four in the jeep.

So that’s where it started. I started making a list of reasons I needed to think about a more practical vehicle. It started with the wrangler unlimited, Jeep’s new version of the cj8 Scrambler, a longer wheelbase jeep. This is a great vehical and it was smart of Jeep to re-release it, but it has some big trade-offs (longer wheelbase means you lose some of the handling qualities that make a wrangler so brilliant to drive). Then Jeep released the four-door wrangler unlimited. I was working up some serious lust for that, until i actually saw them in hawaii. And it turns out they’re really pretty ugly, like someone mated a wrangler with a hummer and got the worst of each.

Meanwhile, some time back I was talking to CG about cars, and she pointed out the new Dodge Charger.

I didn’t really notice it at the time. Sure, a new sedan with the old name. Whatever. But i looked at it and noticed a key word.

HEMI

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google disappearing sex blogs

elvis9 Comments

I knew this already but BoingBoing has a good page on it. From BoingBoing: A number of bloggers who cover topics related to human sexuality say they’ve suddenly disappeared (or at least been deeply demoted) in Google search results. Popular “indie” blogs that deal with nonfiction sex ed or indie alt-erotica fare (Tiny Nibbles, Comstock […]

I knew this already but BoingBoing has a good page on it.

From BoingBoing:

A number of bloggers who cover topics related to human sexuality say they’ve suddenly disappeared (or at least been deeply demoted) in Google search results. Popular “indie” blogs that deal with nonfiction sex ed or indie alt-erotica fare (Tiny Nibbles, Comstock Films, ErosBlog, and others) have suddenly vanished to much lower ranking in relevant search results — even when you have Google’s adult filter turned off. And in practical effect, being buried is just as bad as being filtered out entirely.
The apparent drop appears to coincide with changes Google recently made to their keyword ad program, AdSense.

I saw this sort of thing a couple years ago – google made a change like this and suddenly legitimate sex-related businesses like my friend Doxy’s Phone Slut Diary vanished from the google rankings while sites that spammed and used all sorts of keyword chicanery were still at the top of the charts.

It was fucked up then and it’s fucked up now; they punish the real, valuable sites and do nothing to slow down the cheaters. Our own Chelsea Girl is one of the blogs axed by google, along with Bacchus hisownself, and my man Tony Comstock and a lot of high-profile sex bloggers.

I’m not sure what to do about it; if the team at BoingBoing are head-scratching, i’m pretty well stumped as well. But dammit, it’s yet another reason google are getting up there in competition with m’soft for the title of great satan. Fuck ’em

Update: Xeni at BoingBoing is saying this is fixed, and it may be for high-profile sex blogs, but google hasn’t fixed the root cause; Chelsea’s, for example, is still google-censored.

Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag

elvis3 Comments

James Brown is dead at 73 – leaving the world a whole hell of a lot less funky on this christmas day. I wish I could post one of the tracks from the James Brown christmas album, about which I had a very strange conversation just the other day. Of course, I can’t find it […]

James Brown is dead at 73 – leaving the world a whole hell of a lot less funky on this christmas day.

I wish I could post one of the tracks from the James Brown christmas album, about which I had a very strange conversation just the other day. Of course, I can’t find it right now.

This is a sad day. God knows we all needs a lot more of the funk any day of the year.

Hit Me, godfather of soul.

just like a real emo kid!

elvis14 Comments

I heard the audio from this on the radio and I actually think it’s funnier without the video. I was literally shrieking with laughter in my jeep on the way to work. I must have looked like a complete loon. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blk35pDBhLI] No idea how old this is, i never watched mad tv.

I heard the audio from this on the radio and I actually think it’s funnier without the video.

I was literally shrieking with laughter in my jeep on the way to work. I must have looked like a complete loon.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blk35pDBhLI]

No idea how old this is, i never watched mad tv.

Celtic Cross, Kaiser Skull

elvis7 Comments

I’ve been trying to get a post done on this for-fucking-ever. My first try got somehow eaten by the ether (mmm, ether…) and i never could seem to get back around to it, for which i must apologize to my good friends at Deadringers. They have, at long last, released two new pieces they’ve been […]

I’ve been trying to get a post done on this for-fucking-ever. My first try got somehow eaten by the ether (mmm, ether…) and i never could seem to get back around to it, for which i must apologize to my good friends at Deadringers.

They have, at long last, released two new pieces they’ve been working on for ages; the Celtic Cross, and the Kaiser.

Celtic Cross Enl-1Kaiserroyal Enl2

These are, typically, fantastic pieces. The Kaiser brings to mind images of cartoon villainy in it’s Pickelhaube, and is of course brilliantly well done. There’s no other ring like it.

The cross – oh my god. The pictures don’t do it justice.

Mark and Stephen are fantastic people, and fantastic craftsmen.

I had a hard time choosing between these pieces. I wanted them both. I could see that ring on my hand, but i could also picture stabbing myself in the eye with the the spike. On ther other hand, i have a very strong aversion to wearing crosses. It violates both my rules about not wearing symbols for other peoples belief systems, and my rule about trappings of christianity (but that’s a topic for another post, *cough*dawkins*cough*).

In the end, the power of celtic symbolism and the attraction of a piece of jewelry unlike anything i own won. Thus, the celtic cross is mine.

As usual, the design and workmanship and stunning. There was a time when I grumped about DeadRingers pricing; i take it back again, they’re worth every penny. I own no better-made jewelry, and in fact I’ve never seen jewlery that’s much better made. Stephen hasn’t even reached the peak of his craft yet, and he’s already amazing.

First, photos from Deadringers site; posted because they’re better than mine, and also because, well, the model in these is a total fuckin’ biscuit (hey, mark, stephen? Tell her I love her).

No, really. I love her.

Ahem.

And here’s what it looks like in real life.
Img 3921

See? Better on her, but still, it’s an amazing piece of jewelry.

You can see a whole lot more pictures – of these pieces, and every other brilliant thing Stephen’s been doing – at DeadRinger’s gallery, and these new ones are orderable here.

Thanks, guys. You rock. And thanks for the hats, i didn’t get a good picture of it, but I’ll post one later.

Update:

Miss Biscuit is also a tattoo artist. So that’s it. I’m off to New Zealand to marry her.

And on another note, Mark assures me that the kaiser is engineered for non-eye-pokiness, and sends evidence:

Fingerkaiser

While this doesn’t make me second-guess my choice of the cross, it certainly makes me count my pennies to see if I can buy another ring…

Law of Attraction

elvis9 Comments

They sit to my right on a the banquette at one of this town’s fancier eating establishments. I notice her first because she’s somewhat pretty, and because she leans into the table with an attitude of rapt interest in what her date says. They’re clearly on a date. I don’t know how i can tell […]

They sit to my right on a the banquette at one of this town’s fancier eating establishments.

I notice her first because she’s somewhat pretty, and because she leans into the table with an attitude of rapt interest in what her date says.

They’re clearly on a date. I don’t know how i can tell this, because I can’t hear what they’re saying, but it’s clear. Something in the way they’re dressed, maybe, or the body language that says pre-mating dance.

She’s slender, long dark hair covering maybe a bit too much of her angular-but-pretty features. She’s wearing some sort of casual-but-nice top, I’m not sure what sort, the sort of thing you’d put on when you’re dressing up but don’t want to over-do your date attire.

But what catches my attention isn’t what she’s got on above the waist. Below, she’s in jeans; neat, dark, new, not levis, some fancier brand. But since I’m on the banquette, and she’s leaning forward, i can also see her underwear peeking out of the top of her jeans.

Now, there are certainly plenty of cases where lovely young ladies choose to leave a peek of panty over the top of jeans. But this doesn’t have that look to it. This looks like a case of tight, low cut jeans, and a pair of panties that are riding up. I bet she doesn’t know, or that she figures it doesn’t matter; her date can’t seem them.

Date underwear.

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If you have ghosts you have everything

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If you have ghosts you have everything If you have ghosts you have everything if you can say everything you want then you can do anything you want if you have ghosts you have everything.      -Roky Erickson, If you have ghosts God DAMN it why can’t i find Roky Erickson lyrics anywhere? Oh, and […]

If you have ghosts you have everything
If you have ghosts you have everything
if you can say everything you want
then you can do anything you want
if you have ghosts you have everything.
     -Roky Erickson, If you have ghosts

God DAMN it why can’t i find Roky Erickson lyrics anywhere?

Oh, and if you don’t have The Evil One get it. Now. Play it often.

Me and the devil, we were walking side by side

elvis6 Comments

I got to keep moving, I got to keep moving Blues falling down like hail, blues falling down like hail Mmm, blues falling down like hail, blues falling down like hail And the day keeps on remindin’ me, there’s a hellhound on my trail Hellhound on my trail, hellhound on my trail If today was […]

I got to keep moving, I got to keep moving
Blues falling down like hail, blues falling down like hail
Mmm, blues falling down like hail, blues falling down like hail
And the day keeps on remindin’ me, there’s a hellhound on my trail
Hellhound on my trail, hellhound on my trail

If today was Christmas eve, if today was Christmas eve
And tomorrow was Christmas day
If today was Christmas eve and tomorrow was Christmas day
All I would need is my little sweet rider
Just to pass the time away, to pass the time away

I posted something annoying and brimmin’ with self-pity and small scale caged-rat rage yesterday, waking up with a brain full of ground glass and a mouthful of bile.

I dunno what the fuck was up; i know that I yanked the entry almost soon as I’d posted it, before i could get any comments, though not soon enough that i missed a few hits in the log. So i know someone read it.

Today, i wake in a Robert Johnson mood; i’ve been reading up on Johnson’s legends about the sale of a soul and a price paid at the crossroads; meanwhile I’m listening to Johnson’s reedy singing and brilliant guitar; and it suits my mood better.

I can tell the wind is risin’, the leaves tremblin’ on the tree
Tremblin’ on the tree
I can tell the wind is risin’, leaves tremblin’ on the tree
All I need is my little sweet woman
And to keep my company, hey, hey, hey, hey, my company

I dunno what the fuck is up with me this week; my head’s not right and i have that crazy edge that makes me want to do stupid things. I feel my teeth grinding and want to pick a fight; i want to hurt someone, in both good and bad ways. Weather, holidays, stress, rage contained a little too long.

I don’t know.

Old RJ makes me feel good though.

Me and the devil
We were walking side by side
Me and the devil
We were walking side by side
I’m gonna love your woman, Satan
‘Til I’m satisfied