A vile drink

I keep thinking I should try it, but when it comes down to it, I’d rather just drink. I’m throwing a luau today; mai tais, hawaiian food (vaguely hawaiian, anyway), hawaiian music.

No, I’m not gonna roast a fucking pig. I keep thinking I should try it, but when it comes down to it, I’d rather just drink.

I’m throwing a luau today, for my daughter’s 7th birthday; mai tais, hawaiian food (vaguely hawaiian, anyway), hawaiian music around the pool.

My goal for the day – don’t kill anyone. Because, you know, it could happen. Rum makes a man crazy, sometimes. And almost without exception, I’m armed with sharp, pointy things.

     “it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels.” — Elizabeth Swann

It’s true, and I must say, any ladies of age who choose to show up in bikinis had better watch out. There’s no question, no question at all, that I’m feeling my inner scoundrel today; and that’s just the coffee so far. When we add ol’ demon Rum to the mix, watch out.

google goodness

You know, there are a number of reasons to check one’s hit logs.

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You know, there are a number of reasons to check one’s hit logs. See if traffic’s up or down, see if hits are coming from some other web site that’s linked to me (Thanks Ang, I got mad hits from coolios); see which old entries are getting hit.

But one of the very best things is to see the weird random googlings that lead you all to me.

I get an absolute shitload, for instance, of hits on fucking ‘taco flavored kisses‘ because I once quoted that stupid south park song in an entry about taco flavored cheese (ick). I get hits and hits and hits from searches on the tasty Jessi Combs. I get hits on jazz stuff, on peanut butter fudge recipes, on the phrase “Trample Me

And I get hits daily on the phrase “Skull Ring“.

But the funny stuff isn’t the stuff I’ve specifically blogged about. For some reason, I get hits at least weekly on the phrase “Daddy fucks me” or some variant; “daddy fuck me hard“, “fuck me so hard it hurts“. “fuck me kitten” showed up today. And every time I see one of these in my logs, I get this stupid grin on my face.

I really should capture these on an ongoing basis somewhere, build a page out of them automatically. It’d make an excellent geek project.


Edit: I just got another one, for, get this, girls sticking live fish up there (sic) pussies.

And I wanna ask, who are you, who’s googling that?

[made with ecto]

who needs sleep, anyway?

I’m getting on to that fog state where I’m sleepy and wired; I fall asleep when I’m watching TV but can’t sleep when I get in bed. I need to do some one some violence, but it needs to be, you know, the good hurt kind of violence.
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I swear I haven’t slept more than three hours any night the last week.

I’m getting on to that fog state where I’m sleepy and wired; I fall asleep when I’m watching TV but can’t sleep when I get in bed.

I need to do someone some violence, but it needs to be, you know, the good hurt kind of violence.

Soon, if this keeps going, I’ll get to the hallucination phase. That’s where it gets entertaining.

I dunno what the fuck it is. Ok, well, that’s not true, completely. Some of it’s the cocktail of stress my life has become the last few months; new speed bumps in my road, old speed bumps come back. The usual, only more. And there’s the low-grade mental and physical health shit that comes with that; not getting enough exercise, drinking too much, thinking about sex and escape all day and not having the time or energy or whatever for enough of either.

The wonder of it all is that I have not been sick, really sick, in almost a year. With kids in school, I’m used to having at least two major colds and a sinus infection every winter.

But it all adds up to no sleep. I managed to get myself on a school schedule last week, driving my kids to early day camps, and my clock’s set for early wake-up already; yet my sleep-time clock (damn, I keep typing that as ‘cock’ – see where my brain is at?) is still set for well past midnight no matter how I try to get it earlier.

I need to channel is all into something. I need to get back to the gym and start pumping iron, I need to get my bicycle tuned up so I can ride it (21 gears don’t help much when the front derailleur won’t shift). And I need to get my head off of things I want but can’t have. I need to get back to living in the here-and-now.

Or I need to go back to using narcotics.

Who needs a good spanking? I need to take out a little something on you. Now, not fair offering if you’re far away and can’t travel.

[made with ecto]

I’d know you better if you were naked

Ever have a moment where you look at someone and they look familiar, and you think, if you were naked, I would know. Or is that just me? It’s been a few times lately. My friend Andrea waits tables at a local, upscale restaurant, a wine and cocktails type bistro. She often comes over to […]

Ever have a moment where you look at someone and they look familiar, and you think, if you were naked, I would know.

Or is that just me?

It’s been a few times lately.

My friend Andrea waits tables at a local, upscale restaurant, a wine and cocktails type bistro. She often comes over to my house after work with friends and co-workers, so I have several times wound up in the hot tub with naked, inebriated restaurant staff.

I was sitting at the bar one night, my bachelor week a couple weeks ago. I was sipping dirty martinis and people-watching; writing a story in my head that was being narrated by someone very like Marv in Sin City.

I was also watching waitresses. I love waitresses. And I kept thinking, I know that one girl but I could not dig up how.

It hit me. I think I’ve seen her naked. I could remember her full, luscious breasts.

If I could get her undressed, I thought, I could be sure.

Then there was another friend. I’ve seen her web cam photos, but when I met her in person, she was dressed. I didn’t recognize her at all. Thne later, in the hot tub, I realized, I’ve seen those tits before. And it hit me. I’d know you if you were naked.

The last time was, of course, another waitress. A mexican joint not far from me. I used to eat there weekly, but not so much in the last year, for no reason other than shifts in dining habits. They have a new waitress, and as usual, I took a liking to her on first site. She looks youngish, brunette. Short, with great thighs in a too-short skirt. Pierced nose, pony tail. She smiled at me in a way that made me want to growl.

And I kept thinking, I know this girl.

In fact I don’t, I finally realized what it was. She looks like a combination of a couple women. A stripper from some club I was at not long ago, and a girl I’ve seen on a porn web site. My brain fused them together and this cute little waitress was just similar enough that she pinged my sense of familiarity. And again, I had that thought. If you were naked, I’d know how I know you.

Maybe it’s just that I know bodies better than I know clothes. People I’ve seen naked a lot, I know in my mind’s eye every mole and scar and curve, every hair. Close friends, I could not tell you what they had on the last time I saw them, but I could tell you exactly what bruises they had the last time I saw them naked.

Wearing nothing is devine, naked is a state of mind
I take things off to clear my head to say the things I haven’t said
I live inside the elements the the earth and sky are my best friends
Water is the evidence that washes me from end to end

Categories: sex

working on sundays

My tar process got the files moved over, finally, but now I have to nuke about 100 million files…. I have to copy the fucking think and delete (obliterate, in perforce terms) everything I don’t want.
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Dammit, I hate working on sundays.

Still struggling with a perforce problem. My tar process got the files moved over, finally, but now I have to nuke about 100 million files.

Can’t these fuckers come up with a way to *extract* meta-data? I have to copy the fucking thing and delete (obliterate, in perforce terms) everything I don’t want.

They need to think about offering a real database back-end, I tellya. The proprietary db model is getting old.

Grumble, grumble. I’d rather be at a strip club.

[made with ecto]

I’d know you better if you were naked…

Ever have a moment where you look at someone and they look familiar, and you think, if you were naked, I would know. Or is that just me? It’s been a few times lately. My friend Andrea waits tables at a local, upscale restaurant, a wine and cocktails type bistro. She often comes over to […]

Ever have a moment where you look at someone and they look familiar, and you think, if you were naked, I would know.

Or is that just me?

It’s been a few times lately.

My friend Andrea waits tables at a local, upscale restaurant, a wine and cocktails type bistro. She often comes over to my house after work with friends and co-workers, so I have several times wound up in the hot tub with naked, inebriated restaurant staff.

I was sitting at the bar one night, my bachelor week a couple weeks ago. I was sipping dirty martinis and people-watching; writing a story in my head that was being narrated by someone very like Marv in Sin City.

I was also watching waitresses. I love waitresses. And I kept thinking, I know that one girl but I could not dig up how.

It hit me. I think I’ve seen her naked. I could remember her full, luscious breasts.

If I could get her undressed, I thought, I could be sure.

Then there was another friend. I’ve seen her web cam photos, but when I met her in person, she was dressed. I didn’t recognize her at all. Thne later, in the hot tub, I realized, I’ve seen those tits before. And it hit me. I’d know you if you were naked.

The last time was, of course, another waitress. A mexican joint not far from me. I used to eat there weekly, but not so much in the last year, for no reason other than shifts in dining habits. They have a new waitress, and as usual, I took a liking to her on first site. She looks youngish, brunette. Short, with great thighs in a too-short skirt. Pierced nose, pony tail. She smiled at me in a way that made me want to growl.

And I kept thinking, I know this girl.

In fact I don’t, I finally realized what it was. She looks like a combination of a couple women. A stripper from some club I was at not long ago, and a girl I’ve seen on a porn web site. My brain fused them together and this cute little waitress was just similar enough that she pinged my sense of familiarity. And again, I had that thought. If you were naked, I’d know how I know you.

Maybe it’s just that I know bodies better than I know clothes. People I’ve seen naked a lot, I know in my mind’s eye every mole and scar and curve, every hair. Close friends, I could not tell you what they had on the last time I saw them, but I could tell you exactly what bruises they had the last time I saw them naked.

Wearing nothing is devine, naked is a state of mind
I take things off to clear my head to say the things I haven’t said
I live inside the elements the the earth and sky are my best friends
Water is the evidence that washes me from end to end

Categories: sex

someplace else

I’m having one of those weekends where I just can’t seem to focus on anything.

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I’m having one of those weekends where I just can’t seem to focus on anything. I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to blog about – some stuff about stories I’ve been working on, maybe some harry potter, a bit about rebuilding a bbq and about mediating wars over polly pocket dolls.

But I’m sunburned and tired, and I’ve been struggling all weekend with trying to get a perforce tree copied over with rsync (don’t worry if you don’t understand that, it’s not important) so I could do a maintenance task I thought I could do over the weekend. I’m frustrated and would rather be someplace else doing something else.

The stuff I wanted to do this weekend seems to have fallen by the way-side.

Maybe sunday will get better. I have a fine cup ‘o peets sumtra, and I gave up on rsync and am using tar instead. If I can get that to fucking finish before sunset, and if I drink a couple more mugs of this fine coffee this morning, maybe I’ll feel a little less pissed off.

But I still wish I was someplace else.

[made with ecto]

Happy Birthday, Ruby

My daughter is seven years old today…. I remember the first one, who’s now eleven, being born only a couple years ago. This one can’t possibly be this big, this old already.

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My daughter is seven years old today.

Wow. How time fucking slips between my fingers. I remember the first one, who’s now eleven, being born only a couple years ago. This one can’t possibly be this big, this old already.

Seven years can go by in a blink.

Happy Birthday, Ruby. I love you.

Ruby Ruby Stitch

[made with ecto]