Go Hammer and Pirate Ink

When I started I didn’t have any plan to be sleeved; if I had, I would have done my whole arms as one piece each…. My left arm is done, full, apart from a little space around the wrist and of course the hand.

So tomorrow I go get the inside of my right arm tattooed. One of those spots I’ve long neglected.

When I started I didn’t have any plan to be sleeved; if I had, I would have done my whole arms as one piece each. I didn’t, so now am working around what’s there. My left arm is done, full, apart from a little space around the wrist and of course the hand. My right arm though, feels naked.

It’s funny, looking at old photos for my prior WDW trip I ran across this photo:
Naked Arms

The thing that strikes me isn’t so much I had hair or Wow, no beard, but Oh my god, my arms look naked.

So my right arm may not look naked to most people now, but it feels pretty naked to me.

So tomorrow I start fixing that. I get a polynesian hammerhead design, sorta like this:
Htchamerhead Copyright

(Yeah I know, that’s tiny, I don’t wanna put it up large since it’s Tricia’s design and I don’t want it stolen)

The tail is going up near the armpit, the head in a the crook of the elbow. This should be fun. Pictures, of course, when it’s done.

And while we’re on tattoos, we can talk about my current tattoo obsession. Pirate tattoos.

The pirates thing isn’t a new development. Certainly not part of the recent huge resurgence in popularity pirates have had since the Pirates of the Caribbean film came out, though obviously that film can’t help but make us all wanna turn to piracy. But I was calling myself Calico Jack long before the movie came out, and have always loved the jolly roger. Pirates was always my favorite ride at Disneyland.

But just recently I’ve started to add pirate tattoos to my ‘to get’ list. The wenches one I’ve planned forever, Mary Reed and Anne Bonny, old Jack Rackham’s ladies. But I recently ran across a great banner of jolly roger images that would make a fabulous arm, leg or wrist band. That one won’t get outta my head. And I’ve also been seeing one based on this with a Dead Men Tell No Tales banner. I’m thinking all monochrome, and I’m thinking Jack Rudy might be the guy to do it, though that’s an open question.

There are others. A vague idea of a pirate ship, though I think I don’t have a good place for it, and some other jolly roger ideas. As usual, more ideas than skin, and then there’s the question of expense, so this will need to percolate a bit. But you know, one of these ideas is almost certain to wind up on me before long.

I think bloggers are so sexy

I admire her long legs as she sashays suggestively towards me.”Hi,” she says breathlessly.”Hello.””Aren’t you that guy from the Waiter Rant blog?” she asks, beads of water glistening on her ripe full breasts like diamonds.”Why yes – yes I am,” I reply suavely.”I think bloggers are so sexy,” she teases playfully.I’m at a loss for words.I may be Waiter Rant’s biggest fan.

I may be Waiter Rant’s biggest fan.

I’m standing on the shore of a tropical island when a beautiful blonde, in a skimpy white bikini, emerges from the surf like Venus Rising from the sea. I admire her long legs as she sashays suggestively towards me.

“Hi,” she says breathlessly.

“Hello.”

“Aren’t you that guy from the Waiter Rant blog?” she asks, beads of water glistening on her ripe full breasts like diamonds.

“Why yes – yes I am,” I reply suavely.

“I think bloggers are so sexy,” she teases playfully.

I’m at a loss for words.

Click here to see the whole entry.

Poster Boy

The makers of my favorite shaving product, Total Shaving Solutions, just updated their web site. I’ve tried several shaving oils, and without question, these guys make the best.

The makers of my favorite shaving product, Total Shaving Solutions, just updated their web site.

I’ve tried several shaving oils, and without question, these guys make the best. For a head shaver, this is important. You use this stuff either instead of shave cream, or before shave cream (Which is what I do). Close shave, no skin irritation.

But the real point is, I’m featured on the site. Thanks, Dan!

WDW – twenty years later

Almost twenty years ago, I realize now, since I’ve been to Walt Disney World in Florida…. An entirely self-contained world.

This is long since I’ve got the whole trip in one entry. Click the extended entry for photos and a full trip report.

Almost twenty years ago, I realize now, since I’ve been to Walt Disney World in Florida. late ’86.

It’s like a fucking country now. An entirely self-contained world.

To a California kid, it’s simply amazing. I’m used to Disneyland, which until recently was one small park absolutely engulfed in motels and suburbia. Even now, now that The Mouse has bought up a lot of the surrounding property and expanded with another park (California Adventure) and a lot more, it’s a fairly small space, a few city blocks, and still, surrounded my non-Disney commercial properties.

Contrast this with WDW; about 47 square miles, I don’t know how many lakes, 8500 acres of wilderness premenantly preserved, four theme parks, two water parks, a huge mall and nightclub district (how many hotels?). I can only imagine how much power all this uses, how much waste it produces. And with all that, the feeling is of isolation. The real world is far away, the parks are far from each other, the resorts and hotels, mostly, cannot be seen one from the next.

When I was last there, it was much, much less elaborate. Two parks (Magic Kingdom and Epcot). Three, maybe four hotels. Nothing else. They’ve been busy.

We (Olivia, (11), Ruby (6), Barb, Me, and the In-Laws) were there for three and a half days; nowhere near enough. The parks (MGM, Magic Kingdom, Epcot and Animal Kingdom) each need at least a day, and Epcot could use two. We barely scratched most of the parks.

Read more “WDW – twenty years later”

Travel non-blogging

I spent the last few days with family at Walt Disney World in Florida…. In fact I never even opened my laptop once I checked in, after finding that there’s no internet access at Disney’s Polynesian Resort.

I spent the last few days with family at Walt Disney World in Florida.

I had this image that I’d do some writing while there, do daily blog entries with photos, etc.

Heh.

In fact I never even opened my laptop once I checked in, after finding that there’s no internet access at Disney’s Polynesian Resort. No wireless, no hard-wire, nuthin’.

Not that I needed access to write — but someone not being able to post in real time made me not care.

A summary of the trip will be posted shortly, with pictures; right now, I’m going down to the bar in this lovely orlando airport hotel, and see if there are any lonely female business travelers who want to try something on the wild side tonight. Or, anyway, I’m going to get a beer.

Falling in Love

She fixes her makeup, adjusts a hair fallen out of place. A moment of personal inocense in the red glare of an amsterdam street.

Some of these are true.


A girl behind glass. She thinks she’s alone.

She fixes her makeup, adjusts a hair fallen out of place. A moment of personal innocence in the red glare of an amsterdam street.

She looks up to catch me watching. Eyes meet. She reddens, not from the red light of her street and profession, but simple blush, caught with the mask askew.

I smile at her, and she returns the favor, and we are two people in a street, not hooker and john.

I feel my heart beat as I walk away. Her face locked forever in my mind.


She tells a story in her thick scottish accent. Something about a dish I think we’d call hash back home. But it doesn’t mattter what she’s saying.

She cooks, waits tables on this small private train. As she tells me her story, she brushes hair from her forehead, wipes sweat from her brow. Her blouse is sleeveless, and her arm pits are lightly fuzzed with soft, soft golden hair.

I remember her voice as she said It’s nice. The glow of her pale scottish skin. The soft, tawny gold of her hair.

I wish I could remember her name.


She wants to make a left turn in front of me, and I slow, beckon her to go. She looks at me, across the impossible gulf, two wind shields and a few yards, and smiles. She smiles not like one driver thanking another, but like sunshine, like an invitation. I wave to her as she turns, and she leans my way, and blows me a kiss.

I watch her honda in my rear-view mirror. I want to make a U-turn, but I do not.


She dances next to me at a concert. We’re at the stage, the music ear-splittingly, blisteringly loud. We’re not together, yet dancing, leaping, cheering, we’re in each other’s space.

She’s smoking, and at one point my windmilling arm meets her lighted smoke.

The pain is nothing – in the drunken, sweat-slick frenzy, I barely feel it. But she sees, and kisses my arm, and shares her beer with me, and we dance the next few songs.

The show ends, and we hug, and we kiss, and then she is gone, her date confused and asking her some question my abused ears cannot hear.

I taste her sweat on my lips as I walk away.


A bar in a gray and average hotel in a gray and average city. She runs the bar, and stocks the most amazing collection of caribbean rums I’ve ever seen.

I order, and she fills my glass, and we talk about rum, and she tells me her dream of a sailboat; she’ll write a book some day. Just the two of us there, no one else.

Her hair is short; she’s tall. My senses tell me she’s a lesbian, but when we talk she looks into my eyes, and my heart and groin say, maybe not, or maybe not tonight.

I drink too much rum, just to be near her, and promise to come back and see her again; but my flight plans are changed.

I hope today she’s on that sailboat, writing that book. And some day, in some sunny port, I’ll run into her and we’ll share her latest discovery, and I’ll ask her if my heart once again told me lies.


Her dress is green. Velvet. She speaks in a soft southern accent; I’m not good enough to know where she’s from.

A bar far beyond my price range, in a city where thinking about a drink costs you twice what actually getting it would cost back home.

I order the most expensive brandy they have. I’ve no idea why. But it seems a night for such things. I sip my drink, and as I watch her bare shoulders and the fit of her dress on her hips, I’d pay twice.

I want to hear her say my name.


We talk about her tattoo design, as she waits for the artist to finish piece. Some strange primitive pattern. It doesn’t make sense to me on paper, but she slips her shirt down off her shoulder to show me where it will go, and I want to taste that shoulder.

Later, when the artist places the design, it makes sense; a shoulder so perfect, a design that fits. It looks like it belongs there, and more than ever as the needle bites into flesh and the droplets of blood ooze through the ink, I want to taste that shoulder.

MTBlogroll

After pointing Buck Daruma to ways to do blogrolls, I decided to test-drive MTBlogroll.

After pointing Buck Daruma to ways to do blogrolls, I decided to test-drive MTBlogroll.

This is a MovableType plugin by Arvind Satyanarayanthat will manage a blogroll locally in your MovableType mySQL database, instead of keeping it on someone else’s web site like BlogRolling.

The advantage is clear; faster, since it’s local, and you don’t depend on an external site to be up. It also have a number of features I like, one of which is that it can import my existing blogrolls. And of course, i have much more control over it.

It was easy to install and easy to configure, though the docs are minimalist at best and the template changes caused me some confusion.

There are a few downsides though — the main one being that it evidently can’t do ‘recently updated’. Now, for a roll of static links, that’s fine. Particularly for things like non-blog links. I don’t care when they’re updated. But for things like my Daily Reads list, I depend on that (so it’s annoying when blogs don’t ping the right sites to make this work).

In short I’d say that this works really well aside from that feature; I’ll be switching my Daily Reads back to blogrolling, but I may put my static non-blog links into my local roll since I don’t often update that.

For sites I host, it’s up and ready and working, all you need is a template hack and to load in your blogroll; mail me and I’ll show you how or do it for you.

WoW, WDW!

So I’m gonna be in beautiful Orlando, Florida sampling the exotic delights of Disney the latter half of this week, flying home Monday the 9th of May.

So I’m gonna be in beautiful Orlando, Florida sampling the exotic delights of Disney the latter half of this week, flying home Monday the 9th of May.

I’d like to say this will be a booze-and-narcotics driven adventure, a sort of Fear and Loathing vs The Mouse deal, but no, this is family. Kids. Grandparents. The Full Catastrophe.

I should have some blog entries from the trip, I’m takin’ my laptop with me.

But you know, if I have any Florida-local readers who want to, um, get lost in the park with me, you know where to find me. I may also be open to post-park social invitations. Book early, and offer much.