forward more and backwards less

it just turned summer somewhere between friday and monday – i can’t quite tell when because I was well and truly out of it all day sunday. But it’s 75 already and headed the general direction of 90, and i can NOT get my head around the concept of work today. I keep thinking, don’t […]

it just turned summer somewhere between friday and monday – i can’t quite tell when because I was well and truly out of it all day sunday.

But it’s 75 already and headed the general direction of 90, and i can NOT get my head around the concept of work today. I keep thinking, don’t go don’t go don’t go. Only thing is, work laterly has nothing to do with progress, it has to do with run-as-fast-as-you-can-to-slow-the-backwards-motion. Which, in a word, sucks, and which drains me slowly of all will to work.

It’s goin’ to hell anyway, I think; instead of fighting it, let’s facilitate it.

There’ part of me that wants to step back from anything that looks like a sinking ship and add fire; if it’s going down, send it down in a spectacular fashion. Don’t just crash your car, roll it and send it off a goddamn cliff.

I don’t like to do things in small ways. Subtle, to me, means use a smaller sledge hammer.

Of course the sinking ship and crashing car analogies are hyperbole; nevermind though. That’s the feeling the struggle sometimes has, when the struggle is not toward good or great, but toward mediocrity, and when the cause of the struggle is corporate strategy meets corporate schedule. The result for me is an excercise in frustration, and of all things, I tolerate ongoing frustration least well.

But let’s get back to summer. Because it’s summer, when the sun shines and the clothing decreases, when skin darkens, that I most long for days by the sea, boats, the scent of sweat and coconut and rum. I walk out into the bone-dry northen california heat and wish, desperately, for that island-dark girl who’s supposed to be bringing me my drink.

Instead, I spend a monday morning, as the mercury creeps up, in a DMV waiting line to replace a lost driver’s license. No sea, no rum, no coconut. No beautiful dark-haired, nut-brown girl beside me on glittering black sand. No salt on my skin, no smell of ocean, fruit, tropical flowers. No afternoon trade winds. Just a queue, bored government workers, a large room filled with people who wish, like me, to be anywhere else.

beauty in your fading kiss

My friend Kenny – after sharing with me the evil that is the sake bomb, and then engaging in karaoke until the sushi bar kicked us out – played me his latest recordings. I attempted to post something about Kenny last year, when he left to chase true love in the outback. I found the […]

My friend Kenny – after sharing with me the evil that is the sake bomb, and then engaging in karaoke until the sushi bar kicked us out – played me his latest recordings.

I attempted to post something about Kenny last year, when he left to chase true love in the outback. I found the topic daunting, for Kenny’s that sort of friend. But Kenny’s now back from theland down under and has been recording sweet, sad, beautiful songs.

Here, without his permission (because I never ask), is one of his latest demos (I typo’d that as ‘demons’ which seems to fit eerily well); Kiss. Listen: Images

You can hear Ken’s older stuff at basement3.com, though what he does now is vastly different that the older cds; you can hear a couple more tracks like kiss at sonicbids.com.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

I don’t know much about cinco de mayo Im never sure what its all about I say I want you, and you dont believe me You say you want me, but I’ve got my doubts Oh baby, I was bound for mexico Oh baby, I was bound to let you go Listen:

I don’t know much about cinco de mayo
Im never sure what its all about
I say I want you, and you dont believe me
You say you want me, but I’ve got my doubts

Oh baby, I was bound for mexico
Oh baby, I was bound to let you go

Listen: Images

Regrets

Like you haven’t felt this way… (Thanks to DN for sending me that and to Dave Coverly for drawin’ it)

Like you haven’t felt this way…

Speedbump2007029326504

(Thanks to DN for sending me that and to Dave Coverly for drawin’ it)

Pirates of Marketing-land

I remember when I used to get home from trips and have time to write a big ‘ol trip report with photos every time. Actually I don’t remember it, but I have posts like that, so I should remember it I flew down late Wednesday; a great flight as it turned out. I’d been heavily […]

I remember when I used to get home from trips and have time to write a big ‘ol trip report with photos every time.

Actually I don’t remember it, but I have posts like that, so I should remember it

I flew down late Wednesday; a great flight as it turned out. I’d been heavily girl-watching a woman at the ticket counter when I was in the security line, wanting to get a look at the front ’cause the back was so good; all the right curves in all the right places, and a whole lot of strawberry-blond hair. She was in a weird sort of shorts-pants-suit that shouldn’t have worked, but for some reason did; it looked both casual and business-like, and cute.

The self-same woman wound up sitting next to me on the plane, and the front was even better than that back; she wasn’t just cute, she was gorgeous. We spent the hour-and-a-quarter long trip to Anaheim talking about tattoos; she won my respect by knowing some of my tattoos were Maori, and she wanted as much of a tour of all my tattoos as I could give without 1) getting up or 2) dropping trou (which I’ll admit I’d have done happily if asked).

So it was an unusually good flight.

D-land was great. We’d picked a dead week, so thursday night we were able to walk on to any ride in the park with no wait – and no major rides were closed, so I had my near fill of indiana jones, the matterhorn, haunted mansion, and of course, Pirates of the Caribbean (but more about that in a moment).

Friday, I went on a ride I’d never done before, at Disney’s lesser park, California Adventure; Grizzly River Run. And I gotta say, this ride kicks ass. We got there late friday, and the temperature was dropping, so there were no lines at all; however, this meant that it was freezing. We rode until we were near hypothermic, and soaked to the skin. Only cold drove us off. The good thing is, we were staying at the Grand Californian, so our hotel was literally less that a hundred feet from GRR. I love GRR for the ride, of course, but an added benefit is what a good dousing of cold water does to pretty young ladies tee-shirts. Mmmm.

In any case, I flew home from d-land late saturday, took a cab since no one was there waiting to collect me at the gate (hey, a guy can dream), and then spent my sunday doin’ nuthin’ but reading a James Bond novel and nursing a sore foot (I’ll be damned if i know what i did to it, but I managed to hurt myself two days before leaving; luckily darvocet is a good way to way to enhance enjoyment of the Magic Kingdom), and cookin’ some fine caldo de pollo.

All in all, a way-too-short but very easy, low-key trip.

But let’s talk about Pirates.

Read more “Pirates of Marketing-land”

I have fantasies like that…

It’s conversations like this that make me like where I work. My group’s director – who’s also my long time pal and tattoo soul-mate, Jeff – walked into my office and began: “The great thing about having a personal trainer is that now, I really have a body” “Must be nice, man,” I replied. “It’s […]

It’s conversations like this that make me like where I work.

My group’s director – who’s also my long time pal and tattoo soul-mate, Jeff – walked into my office and began:

“The great thing about having a personal trainer is that now, I really have a body

“Must be nice, man,” I replied.

“It’s what happens when you work out with an evil lesbian three mornings a week.”

“…I have fantasies like that,” I said.

“Yeah, I bet you do,” said Jeff with an evil laugh, as he walked off down the hall.

Vote for Tricia

My friend Tricia Allen of Tattoo Traditions – just about the best polynesian tattooist in the world – has written the definitive book on hawaiian tattooing. Said book is up for the 2007 Ka Palapala Pookela book award. We can help out by voting for tricia’s fantastic book (follow the instruction below or just click […]

My friend Tricia Allen of Tattoo Traditions – just about the best polynesian tattooist in the world – has written the definitive book on hawaiian tattooing.

Said book is up for the 2007 Ka Palapala Pookela book award.

We can help out by voting for tricia’s fantastic book (follow the instruction below or just click here)

Trica Allen writes:

Aloha,

My book has been nominated for a 2007 Ka Palapala Pookela book award, so now it’s up to you readers to vote! Please vote for my book! Below is the link to the article the Honolulu Advertiser ran on Sunday about the Reader’s Choice Award they are sponsoring. The link also has other books you might opt to vote for (God forbid!).

To vote, simply send an e-mail to hawaiibookpublishers@gmail.com with the title– TATTOO TRADITIONS OF HAWAII in the subject line.

To read the article:
http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2007/Apr/22/il/FP704220322.html

Tricia’s book is great, if you’re interested in Hawaiian tattooing, it’s a must-own. Go buy it.

You’ll just have to find that out for yourself

I’m standing in Downtown Disney in my black workman’s utilikilt, trying to get a cell connection (Cingular may have better service than verizon did but they really don’t have quite the quality.) I’m standing in a stream of people who I assume were heading towards the disney trams; i am the rock around which the […]

I’m standing in Downtown Disney in my black workman’s utilikilt, trying to get a cell connection (Cingular may have better service than verizon did but they really don’t have quite the quality.)

I’m standing in a stream of people who I assume were heading towards the disney trams; i am the rock around which the stream part, standing with my back facing the upstream mass.

“Don’t you dare, mother!” i hear, and turn, to see an attractive older women woman and her even more attractive late-twneties daughter heading my general direction. I smile at them, and know they were somehow talking about me.

They glance at each other, and the mother leans is close, not stopping, and asks the question.

“We were wondering if it’s really true that you don’t wear anything under there.”

They’re stepping past me, and I am intent on the phone call I’m trying to have.

“You’ll just have to find that out for yourself.” I say. And they shriek, and giggle, and it’s that kind of giggle. Then they’re gone one way, and I’m walking away another; but I know that these two attractive ladies are now, as they head home, thinking about my cock. And that alone makes my evening.

Mouseward

I’m leaving on a very short trip to southern california – getting on a plane in about two hours. I wish I had time for a real vacation, with time spent sipping cocktails by a pool, and energetically doing nothing. But this isn’t that kinda trip; i’ve got two and a half days to hit […]

I’m leaving on a very short trip to southern california – getting on a plane in about two hours. I wish I had time for a real vacation, with time spent sipping cocktails by a pool, and energetically doing nothing. But this isn’t that kinda trip; i’ve got two and a half days to hit d-land and possibly a few other sites in and around anaheim (though I’m sure, as usual, I won’t have time to go get tattooed by jack rudy; that always happens).

It’s the kind of trip where one has fun, but never had time for downtime which what I need most right now. That has to wait a bit, however, and it’s virtaully impossible to be unhappy at Disneyland.

I fly back saturday afternoon, so at least I have a day of peace and quiet after the trip. I’ll need it.

kitten heels

I stopped my truck to let her cross. She’d emerged from from a shiny, modern auto, and was headed for starbucks, or jamba juice, one of those corporate purveyors of sweet-soulless beverages. I generally let people cross in parking lots; it’s one of those general rules of courtesy I try to follow, all the more […]

I stopped my truck to let her cross.

She’d emerged from from a shiny, modern auto, and was headed for starbucks, or jamba juice, one of those corporate purveyors of sweet-soulless beverages.

I generally let people cross in parking lots; it’s one of those general rules of courtesy I try to follow, all the more because I drive a big vehicle, and because I have a somewhat threatening demeanor. So I go out of my way to make shows of public courtesy (one might say I was lulling people into a sense of false security, and one would not be entirely wrong).

But in this case, the act wasn’t one of courtesy, so much as it was one of – words fail me here, mesmerizement?

She was attractive; lovely, possibly. I can’t really say for sure. Thirtyish, or fourtyish, or more, or even less. The details melt away. Her hair was pixie-short, stylishly so. Expensively colored some wine-dark tone.

She smiled at me when I stopped my huge truck and waved her on, go ahead, you have the right of way. Her makeup was tasteful, lips some strong color I can’t recall, which didn’t particularly compliment or clash with her hair. Nice, but not striking.

But it was her clothing that left me overwhelmed.

She wore a skirt in an orange one rarely sees in clothing; an orange made for hot-rods from the seventies, for vintage british amplifiers. For plastic furniture or sports uniforms or or the inside of lava lamps. It wasn’t demurely orange, elegantly orange; it wasn’t naturally orange, the orange of fruit or blossoms. It was brazenly orange, aggressively orange. It shouted, screamed the color – Orange!

The skirt was longish, to the calf, in some swingy, flowing fabric. It was the sort of skirt my female friends will know the name for, the cut, the length, the fabric. But it was well made, and moved about her legs as she walked, flashing only a bit of calf, and flattering what wasn’t a remarkable walk.

Her shoes were like some minimalist craft; sleek and low, like cigarette boats or the sort of cars that sit so low you can’t see them from your SUV window at a stop. Barely a shoe at all; low and flat, with a slightest band across the ball of her feet, her toes peeking out. The heels were low, with angular, sharply tapered heels. They’re what I think are called a ‘kitten heel’, which I recall only because the word ‘kitten’ has so much sexual resonance for me when applied to a woman.

They’re shoes I’d never have noticed, but that they matched her skirt. They were blindingly, brilliantly, attention-grabbingly orange. Tiny, thin, barely there; yet the image if the elegantly tapered heel has attached itself to my mind’s eye. Her feet were hypnotic.

And there was her jacket; and this is where all hell breaks loose.

Imagine if you will: Drop acid with Emanuel Ungaro and Peter Max, and they spend the night watching Yellow Submarine, making love, and designing ladies jackets. Imagine a color palate featuring this mind-bending, eyeball-saturating orange, and mate it with contrasting hues in similar intensity. Imagine the yellow, the green, the pink that would go with this, and take your mental paintbrush and swirl it into a carefully planned psychedelic salmagundi.

You are short of this jacket; you have made a valiant attempt, but you fail. It is more; brighter; wilder. It is a garment made from madness and pop-art; or one might simple say, it was very bright.

And I sat in my truck, willing my eyes to close, to allow myself a moment to recover. And I thought, where is she going?

Because my town, it is not the sort of place where Peter Max and Ungaro give birth to a psychedelic love-child in dupioni; it is not the sort of place where a woman goes causally down to Starbucks in a swirl of brilliant orange skirts and matching kitten-heeled mules. It is not a town where elegant ladies wear amazing technicolor dream coats.

This woman, in fact looked like she might have stepped out of the world’s most elegant circus. I wondered, as she vanished in my rear-view mirror, if she were the office manager for cirque du couture. My mind filled with a vision of designer clown cars disengorging an elegantly clad and near-eternal stream of perfectly-coiffed clowns, not slapping about in huge, boat-like shoes but instead clicking along in dolce & gabbana. Ringmasters in chanel, jugglers in gautier, tightrope-walkers and acrobats in lagerfeld and st. laurent.

Was she the den mother for the cubscout be-in? Was she the here with a gypsy caravan? Was she a member of some mind-warping cult, a designer-dressed pied piper, ready to lure our vogue-reading rats and children off to some pleasure island of tropical-candy-colord joy and sin?

Who was she and what was she doing in my town? And did she, I wonder now, know what she was doing? Or was this some horrible accident of taste that brought her out, perfectly, elegantly dressed in something where the word taste becomes abstractly meaningless. Did she not even know?

And I am left to wonder; what did her blouse look like, for I never even saw it. And what – my mind going there because it has to – did she on have under that sun-bright skirt? Nothing, I want to think, but i know that’s wrong. But i wish – hope – that she had the tiniest thong, covering a perfectly, lovingly waxed pussy; a delicate thread of brightest orange or acid green or hot, tropic pink elegantly cleaving a perfect bottom. I want the part I couldn’t see to be as outrageously, loudly perfect as the rest.

I will never know; but let’s all assume I’m right.