Category: teevee

24 gone horribly wrong

elvis7 Comments

I hate to use the phrase jump the shark. It was clever when someone coined it but it’s one of those things you hear all the damned time. People will say it every time a show has an off episode, or because they’ve decided it’s not cool to watch that show anymore, or because something […]

I hate to use the phrase jump the shark. It was clever when someone coined it but it’s one of those things you hear all the damned time. People will say it every time a show has an off episode, or because they’ve decided it’s not cool to watch that show anymore, or because something changed in the show. They seem to miss the concept that it’s not just a slight change; jump the shark means a show gone utterly, disastrously wrong.

Yet, that term applies to season three of 24.

First let me say – Jack is still fucking Jack. Jack is the man, and it doesn’t matter how bad the show gets, he’s still Jack. Jack Bauer wasn’t addicted to heroin, as they say; heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer (and I must give props to my sweet-as-sugar ChelseaGirl for getting me to watch this show; she gets every bit of the credit).

But after watching two spectacular, addicting, irresistible roller-coaster seasons of this show back to back (and almost without sleep, that’s how bad it is watching this show, you just can’t put it down), I hit a wall at season three.

I could go on and on with this – the list of things that went wrong is amazing. Every single episode had something that started my eyes rolling, and this is a show that generally makes little things like logical inconsistencies irrelevant.

But – my god. It starts right from the first episode; a pointless partner for Jack, his teenage daughter somehow become, not just a staff member at CTU, but a high-level computer expert. A baby out of nowhere. President Palmer, the two-legged Muphasa, suddenly a weak and indecisive leader. A love interest who turns up in one episode to die in the next. An entire sub-plot (mexican drug-lords) which boils up and then evaporates pointlessly long before mid-season. A killing that makes no sense whatsoever, just because it means we get to see jack suffer a little more. Tony, the guy who almost turns Jack in for breaking the rules in seasons one and two, suddenly become mister fuck-the-rules-it’s-my-wife in season three.

By the end of the second episode, it had become clear something was horribly wrong. When the baby showed up, it seemed it’d dug deep. And yet it slides, and slides, and slides, digging deeper into the ground with each episode, to the point where you think it can’t get worse and it does.

I went from the point where I could not wait for netflix and had to rent at my local blockbuster, to the point where I kept saying god, how can we still have three more disks to go before it’s over?

This, my friends; this is the shark. Watch as we jump over it.

And so I finished it, and I can say, it did get better, pulling out shards and slivers of the old 24 with the last two episodes, and finishing with possibly Jack’s most gut-wrenching moment ever.

And I fear. Can season four go lower? God, it can, can’t it?

There’s a bright spot; season five, which I watched in real time and which hooked me, is truly great teevee. I can’t say if it’s as good as thefirst two, or better. Yet it stands out as a brilliant season of teevee. So I know it’s not a loss after season three. Yet, I wish for season four to start with a bobby-ewing-in-the-shower. Please.

Warn me, someone. Is season four as bad? Dare I put it my netflix queue?

Rock Star 6767

elvis2 Comments

If you’re as hooked on Rock Star as I am, you should follow Big Dave Navarro’s blog, 6767. He’s got some commentary going that’s dead on about the issues with this season (though i think he’s still holding back a bit, you can tell by his body language that he’s frustrated with things, i think […]

If you’re as hooked on Rock Star as I am, you should follow Big Dave Navarro’s blog, 6767. He’s got some commentary going that’s dead on about the issues with this season (though i think he’s still holding back a bit, you can tell by his body language that he’s frustrated with things, i think much more than he says).

I keep meaning to post a summary on this show, both what I’m likin’ and my frustrations, but as usual, I can’t seen to line up the time and the inspiration together, they’re on opposite ends of the wheel. It’s been like that now for a good couple months, time and inspiration chasing each other around the tree. If they get faster maybe they’ll turn into butter.

Rockstar – thy name is mediocrity

elvis7 Comments

I’ve said before – i loved rockstar: inxs. But so far, I’m not loving rockstar: prefabSuperGroup. I loved rs:insx because – well, because of the guys in inxs. Gary Beers, the various and sundry Farriss brothers, the odd but talented Kirk Pengilly. This was a big deal to them, finding a singer. And not just […]

I’ve said before – i loved rockstar: inxs.

But so far, I’m not loving rockstar: prefabSuperGroup.

I loved rs:insx because – well, because of the guys in inxs. Gary Beers, the various and sundry Farriss brothers, the odd but talented Kirk Pengilly. This was a big deal to them, finding a singer. And not just a singer, a singer who had to fill some big fucking shoes without replacing the original guy.

That produced a sense of drama. There was a sad story beneath it all.

And then there were the singers; right from the start there was a deep pool of talent. JD, Mig, Marty, Sweet Susie McNeil; Jordis and Ty and Deanna. Ok, sure, there were some who were over thier heads, but there was a lot of talent, I mean al lot. Any of those people could have won, if not this, than something.

And I look at this installment, and see… Nothing.

Now, we have to take away the band factor. It makes a difference, but you can’t make another rs:inxs. But it’s the talent that troubles me. There’s one person who’s wowed me, Dilana Robichaux. She’s awesome. And after her there’s – a pool of mediocrity. Jill Gioia’s adorable, but average, Storm Large looked great in week one but ordinary in week two. Patrice Pike was boring the first go-round, though much better in week two. Lukas Rossi, who needs to lay off the foundation, has real talent and might be a dark horse.

The rest – range from forgetably mediocre to absolutely awful. I’m wondering how most of these people even got to the final, when some of ’em can’t seem to even carry a tune.

I’m wondering why the talent pool for this edition is smaller. That’s not how this should work.

I imagine I’ll keep watching. The house band simply smokes, i like Dave Navarro (though he’s getting a little too adorable for his own good), and the less Brooke Burke wears, the better I like her. And I want to hear Dilana sing more.

But it ain’t what I hoped. Where’s the fuckin’ talent, people?

Rock Star: Supernova

elvis6 Comments

I can’t help it. I’m already hooked. Rock Star: Supernova I watched the first one – and cared – because it was INXS and they had a back-story. A tragic, sordid death, a band trying to come back from oblivion. But I kept watching it because it was just good. Better than it got credit […]

I can’t help it. I’m already hooked.

Rock Star: Supernova

I watched the first one – and cared – because it was INXS and they had a back-story. A tragic, sordid death, a band trying to come back from oblivion.

But I kept watching it because it was just good. Better than it got credit for. It was well done, the house band was amazing, the performances, most of them, were good. Some of them were amazing. And the guy who won, JD Fortune, was exactly the right guy for the job.

But I figured, they can’t do it again. Not without INXS, who made it work. Not the band, but the people. They gave it soul.

But now, I’m watching the new one. With a pre-fab heavy metal supergroup called ‘Supernova’; Tommy Lee of The Crüe, Jason Newsted from Metalica, and Gilby Clarke from GnR.

And I’m thinking, wow, there went the soul.

And yet, I’m already hooked, after one episode. Even though only three or four of the performers were worth a damn; even though very little was really even memorable. I’m still hooked.

I can’t help it. And you know, I admit it, I’ve got a weak spot for Tommy Lee. maybe it’s just cause he looks like my buddy Lex, but something just makes me like the guy.

Anyone wanna make some bets on who’s makin’ it down to the final? Right now my picks are Dilana, Storm and the simply adorable Jill. And yeah, I’m bettin’ they go with a girl. But only if she’ll do triple penetration.

twennyfour

elvis4 Comments

One thing. I want to be Jack Bauer. He gets to kill people. He gets to steal cars and point guns atg people and when he says Do it! NOW! people do it. When he says he’ll kill you, he fuckin’ means it. When he says I’m not going to shoot you, he doesn’t mean […]

One thing.

I want to be Jack Bauer.

He gets to kill people. He gets to steal cars and point guns atg people and when he says Do it! NOW! people do it.

When he says he’ll kill you, he fuckin’ means it. When he says I’m not going to shoot you, he doesn’t mean he won’t, just that he’s not planning to, yet.

Jack is the fucking man.

I’m watching the first season of 24 on DVD. One of the very best things about netflix; these gems that I missed the first time, like season one of Amazing Race, or Veronica Mars, The Mole, Deadwood.

I didn’t catch on to the glory that is 24 until this past season; day 5. And oh, god, why didn’t I know about this before?

I’m halfway through; kidnappings, incredibly hot terrorist babes, Jack’s daughter tied up and duct taped. Jack in handcuffs, escaping. Double-crosses and betrayals and stolen identities. Airplanes exploding, hot airplane bathroom sex. Some really great villains. Threats of rape and murder.

And that’s only nine hours in.

Yeah. I wanna be Jack Bauer. And I’m glad I’ve got three more seasons to watch, even if they’re not this good.

Browncoat weapon lust

elvis17 Comments

Ok, my geek is showing. This is where my fetish for knives crosses my geekery. I’ve been looking for months for where I can get Jayne Cobb’s Bowie Knife from Firefly. I’ve wanted a big-ass bowie knife for years. I’ve got balisongs, switchblades, straight-razors, tactical folders, bayonets, daggers, throwing knives, a million kitchen knives, machetes, […]

Ok, my geek is showing.

This is where my fetish for knives crosses my geekery.

I’ve been looking for months for where I can get Jayne Cobb’s Bowie Knife from Firefly.

I’ve wanted a big-ass bowie knife for years. I’ve got balisongs, switchblades, straight-razors, tactical folders, bayonets, daggers, throwing knives, a million kitchen knives, machetes, pukko knives, buck folders and buck hunting knives, swiss army knives, opinel folders, gerber folders.

But I don’t have a bowie knife, and I’ve wanted one forever.

So I just ran across something on a browncoat site identified that BFK (Big Fuckin’ Knife) Jayne carries. And of course, I want one.

The Rough Rider Patrick Henry Liberty Bowie Knife:

Bowieknife2

Of course, it can’t be that easy. It’s out of production. The only company I can find that has them for sale is taking back-orders, but can’t tell me an ETA. On the other hand, I know a guy (who is an order of magnitude higher in geekdom than I) who makes an exact replica of Jayne’s sheath. Which means that, if I can ever find the goddamned knife, I also can get the sheath I want.

Ok, now, who’s giggling at the word ‘sheath‘?

I know. I know. Geeky. I can’t help it. I have weapon lust. I must have that knife.

South Park vs Co$

elvis1 Comment

I’m sure you’ve heard about the shit-canned southpark episode where they take on those fuckin’ freaks Tom Cruise and John Travolta and the Co$. The episode can be found here at Contemporary Insanity. rm format only, no quicktime, alas. And props again to Brandon for the logo. I just sized it, he did the work.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the shit-canned southpark episode where they take on those fuckin’ freaks Tom Cruise and John Travolta and the Co$.

The episode can be found here at Contemporary Insanity. rm format only, no quicktime, alas.

And props again to Brandon for the logo. I just sized it, he did the work.

Things ain’t been the same since the Blues walked into town

elvis2 Comments

You woke up this morning Got yourself a gun, Mama always said you’d be The Chosen One. She said: You’re one in a million You’ve got to burn to shine, But you were born under a bad sign, With a blue moon in your eyes. You woke up this morning All the love has gone, […]

You woke up this morning
Got yourself a gun,
Mama always said you’d be
The Chosen One.

She said: You’re one in a million
You’ve got to burn to shine,
But you were born under a bad sign,
With a blue moon in your eyes.

You woke up this morning
All the love has gone,
Your Papa never told you
About right and wrong.

All is well with the world.

The Sopranos is back.