Category: humor

The real me

elvis4 Comments

Well, i wasn’t sure it was possible to reduce a person’s essence, the totality of what makes them them in a few brush strokes. Bit it kinda seems like cartoonist Doug Shannon does a pretty good job. This guy was at a party I went to saturday (a Bar Mitzvah, actually, which was a unique […]

Well, i wasn’t sure it was possible to reduce a person’s essence, the totality of what makes them them in a few brush strokes.

Bit it kinda seems like cartoonist Doug Shannon does a pretty good job.

Karl Caricature Web

This guy was at a party I went to saturday (a Bar Mitzvah, actually, which was a unique experience for this california gentile), and of course I had to shoulder kids out of the way and say do mine next. The best thing is to watch the guy doing this, seeing which people he reads and captures instantly and who he does not. It requires not just a particular cartooning talent to do this nonsense, but also a certain intuition about people. We all have varying degrees of how well we read faces and body language; some people just seem to have an extra gift.

llama song

elvis3 Comments

I’ve had no time to post, though in general I’ve been in a much better mood. My life, typically, is still in a state of constant upheaval (when, I wonder, does it get simple? Oh, right, when they shovel dirt over my face.) So here’s something silly meantime, ’til I get time to put virtual […]

I’ve had no time to post, though in general I’ve been in a much better mood. My life, typically, is still in a state of constant upheaval (when, I wonder, does it get simple? Oh, right, when they shovel dirt over my face.)

So here’s something silly meantime, ’til I get time to put virtual pen to virtual paper and produce something virtually interesting.

This is old. But my kids are walkiing around singing it – and they know all the goddamn words so I had to look it up.

You have to watch this first, then you can read the words, which are almost brilliantly surreal.

Thus – The Llama Song

Ok, now you can read the words.

Read more “llama song”

just like a real emo kid!

elvis14 Comments

I heard the audio from this on the radio and I actually think it’s funnier without the video. I was literally shrieking with laughter in my jeep on the way to work. I must have looked like a complete loon. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blk35pDBhLI] No idea how old this is, i never watched mad tv.

I heard the audio from this on the radio and I actually think it’s funnier without the video.

I was literally shrieking with laughter in my jeep on the way to work. I must have looked like a complete loon.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Blk35pDBhLI]

No idea how old this is, i never watched mad tv.

What do you think you’re looking at, Sugar Tits?

elvis8 Comments

I’m not sure where this picture came from. But it rules. And I have to say, I’m utterly and completely taken with the phrase “sugar tits“. Is it a kind of bird? A candy? a frosted fried dough confection? You know, it’s the kind of thing I’d actually call someone, in a bar or in […]

I’m not sure where this picture came from. But it rules.

Mel Gibson Sugar Tits.0

And I have to say, I’m utterly and completely taken with the phrase “sugar tits“. Is it a kind of bird? A candy? a frosted fried dough confection?

You know, it’s the kind of thing I’d actually call someone, in a bar or in bed. You know it’s true – how many of you can hear me say it? How ya doin, Sugar-tits?

But aside from that – and, you know, looking great in a kilt – I’m not Mel Gibson. Trust me on that.

Brokeback Mounties

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I post this only because it gives me a chance to use the phrase Brokeback Mounties. And who can resist. It’s an I’m a Lumberjack sort of story. Two RCMP officers will finally get their man this summer, when Const. Jason Tree and Const. David Connors walk down the aisle and exchange vows. It will […]

I post this only because it gives me a chance to use the phrase Brokeback Mounties. And who can resist. It’s an I’m a Lumberjack sort of story.

Two RCMP officers will finally get their man this summer, when Const. Jason Tree and Const. David Connors walk down the aisle and exchange vows.

It will be the first same-sex marriage in the Mounties’ history.

(Full Story Here)

Brokeback Mounties. Guffaw. Props to Mom for telling me about this.

Piloh WHAT?

elvis4 Comments

This is one of those moments where you want to ask a parent, did you try saying your new baby’s name out loud? The very fuckable if sorta over-rated Angelina Jolie, and her current man-slut, the also somewhat fuckable Brad Pitt, just had a baby – who you figure is going to grow up to […]

This is one of those moments where you want to ask a parent, did you try saying your new baby’s name out loud?

The very fuckable if sorta over-rated Angelina Jolie, and her current man-slut, the also somewhat fuckable Brad Pitt, just had a baby – who you figure is going to grow up to be the best looking person who ever lived.

And they named this little person Shiloh. And that’s ok, I guess, when you think about all the really really stupid celeb-baby names we’ve seen lately – Banjo, Pilot Inspektor, Diezel Ky, Rumer, Tallulah and Scout, Jermajesty, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. I mean, you can just go on and on.

So Shiloh doesn’t seem that utterly stupid.

But then you say it out loud. Shiloh Pitt. Say it a few times. And it won’t be long til you make a spoonerism out of it. And it comes out Piloh Shitt.

Ok, I didn’t come up with this. That credit goes to Tabloid Whore (I love you, Tabloid Whore), with the headline SHILOH PITT TO ENDURE YEARS OF TEASING AS PILOH SHITT. But still, I cant stop laughing at it.