Category: humor

That’s my kind of military maneuver

elvis10 Comments

God damn this is funny. I can’t find any detail behind this but BoingBoing has a link to video of british troops on LSD. I don’t know when this was or what the intent of the test was, but they looks like they’re having a fantastic time. Click the image to play. I’m still giggling.

God damn this is funny.

I can’t find any detail behind this but BoingBoing has a link to video of british troops on LSD. I don’t know when this was or what the intent of the test was, but they looks like they’re having a fantastic time.

Click the image to play.

200602030928

I’m still giggling.

Tequila®

elvis8 Comments

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®. Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help […]

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

(I don’t know WHERE this comes from originally, but it rocks – props all the people who sent it my way)

Cause joy is something they don’t bring

elvis3 Comments

Outside the carolers start to sing I can’t describe the joy they bring Cause joy is something they don’t bring me My girlfriend is by my side From the roof are hanging sickles of ice Their whiny voices get irritating It’s Christmas time again So I stand with a dead smile on my face Wondering […]

Outside the carolers start to sing
I can’t describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don’t bring me

My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging sickles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It’s Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they’ll waste
Oh God I hate these Satan’s helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped
Because I grabbed a baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It’s Christmas time again
It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand all year
I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don’t wanna get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone.

Well I guess it’s not cool to freak on Christmas Eve
Cause the cops came and arrested me
They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn’t have a tree
Christmas came a night early
Causes a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package (hot damn)

It’s Christmas time again
It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand all year
I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from my home
If you don’t wanna get beat down
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone

I won’t be home
I won’t be home for Christmas

(Thanks, Blink 182)

The very definition of ‘sick and wrong’

elvis3 Comments

If there was any doubt about my going to hell (oh, right, as if), this settles it. All you need to know is that I laughed life a fucking fiend all the way through this. The Passion of Benny Hill (If you’ve never seen the The Benny Hill Show this won’t make sense. Don’t even […]

If there was any doubt about my going to hell (oh, right, as if), this settles it. All you need to know is that I laughed life a fucking fiend all the way through this.

The Passion of Benny Hill (If you’ve never seen the The Benny Hill Show this won’t make sense. Don’t even bother.)

The web site says “WARNING: Graphic violence, gore, and blasphemous material“. I might also add, you could die from laughing. But only if you’re as sick a fucker as I am.

Who Killed Rudolph?

elvis1 Comment

My boss (Actually my director) Jeff just walked into my office and showed me this. ORLANDO, Fla. — A holiday display is getting some negative attention from neighbors. A homeowner’s display in the Hunter’s Creek subdivision features Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer hanging from a tree. That’s just too cool for words.

My boss (Actually my director) Jeff just walked into my office and showed me this.

ORLANDO, Fla. — A holiday display is getting some negative attention from neighbors. A homeowner’s display in the Hunter’s Creek subdivision features Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer hanging from a tree.

That’s just too cool for words.

a thousand nameless hells

elvis3 Comments

What makes this entertaining isn’t the slippers. I mean, sure, they’re cute and all, but you seen one c’thulu plush, you seen ’em all. No, what makes this entertaining is Cory’s description: “…keep your feet warm even as they damn them to a thousand nameless hells.”

What makes this entertaining isn’t the slippers. I mean, sure, they’re cute and all, but you seen one c’thulu plush, you seen ’em all.

No, what makes this entertaining is Cory’s description:

“…keep your feet warm even as they damn them to a thousand nameless hells.”

Cthulhuslippers

The c’thulu family circus

elvis1 Comment

Not as brilliant as dysfunctional family circus, sure, but still, pretty fuckin’ brilliant. The Nameless Dread – C’thulu Family Circus. (Props to BoingBoing of course)

Not as brilliant as dysfunctional family circus, sure, but still, pretty fuckin’ brilliant.

The Cthulhu Circus

The Nameless Dread – C’thulu Family Circus.

(Props to BoingBoing of course)

You smell like Cumming

elvis10 Comments

Alan Cumming, star of Spy Kids, the brilliant Anniversary Party, X2, and about a zillion other movies, has a fragrance out. And it’s called – wait for it… Cumming. Suddenly, guess what you’re all getting in your xmas stockings? Ah, it gets better. I just updated the above link to point to the official cumming […]

Alan Cumming, star of Spy Kids, the brilliant Anniversary Party, X2, and about a zillion other movies, has a fragrance out.

And it’s called – wait for it…

Cumming.

Suddenly, guess what you’re all getting in your xmas stockings?

Ah, it gets better. I just updated the above link to point to the official cumming web site, and by all means go watch the video. He’s so sweetly girlish, I’d date him!

And the price? $69.

(Props to Amie Sue for hippin’ me to this)