Category: humor

…but nobody’s home

elvisLeave a comment

Thanks to the lovely and talented Miz Lemay by adding mirth to my morning:A guy goes to the doctor…. You need a psychiatrist.””I was on the way to the psychiatrist,” says the guy.

Thanks to the lovely and talented Miz Lemay by adding mirth to my morning:

A guy goes to the doctor. “Doctor,” he says. “I need your help. I think I’m a moth.”

“I can’t help you, ” says the doctor. “I’m just a general practitioner. You need a psychiatrist.”

“I was on the way to the psychiatrist,” says the guy. “But then I saw your light was on.”

Stupidly funny machine gun of dirty words

elvis2 Comments

This is for the bad little kid in all of us. NWA’s Straight Outta Compton, edited down to only the explicit content.So for example the title track, which starts: Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube From the gang called Niggaz With Attitudes When I’m called off, I got a sawed off Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off You too, boy, if ya fuck with me The police are gonna hafta come and get me Off yo ass, that’s how I’m goin out For the punk motherfuckers that’s showin ouIs then reduced to simply:motherfucker, niggaz, fuck, ass, motherfuckers.This reduced to me absolute giggles.

This is for the bad little kid in all of us.

NWA’s Straight Outta Compton, edited down to only the explicit content.

So for example the title track, which starts:

      Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
      From the gang called Niggaz With Attitudes
      When I’m called off, I got a sawed off
      Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off
      You too, boy, if ya fuck with me
      The police are gonna hafta come and get me
      Off yo ass, that’s how I’m goin out
      For the punk motherfuckers that’s showin ou

Is then distilled down to:

     motherfucker, niggaz, fuck, ass, motherfuckers.

This reduced to me absolute giggles.

Not work safe, not kid safe, not even safe for me.

(Thanks, as usual, to BoingBoing.)

Suppose everything matters. Which would be worse?

elvis2 Comments

“We all want meaningful lives. We look for meaning in everything we do. But suppose there IS no meaning. Supposed life is fundamentally absurd. Suppose there’s no reason or truth, or rightness in anything. What if nothing means anything? What if nothing really matters? Or suppose everything matters. Which would be worse?” –Bill Watterson, ‘Calvin […]

“We all want meaningful lives. We look for meaning in everything we do.

But suppose there IS no meaning. Supposed life is fundamentally absurd.

Suppose there’s no reason or truth, or rightness in anything.

What if nothing means anything? What if nothing really matters?

Or suppose everything matters. Which would be worse?”

–Bill Watterson, ‘Calvin and Hobbes’

There’s a small irony that one of the great philosphers of my era is a guy who draws a comic strip about a little kid and his imaginary tiger. Such it is, however.

[composed and posted with ecto]

TIPSY

elvis2 Comments

Oh, I love this story. Having a vanity plate that reads “TIPSY” may not be such a great idea after all. Josiah Johnson, 23, said his license plate might have tipped off the Clay County sheriff’s deputy who pulled him over Friday after he left Coach’s Sports Pub in Moorhead.

Oh, I love this story.

Having a vanity plate that reads “TIPSY” may not be such a great idea after all. Josiah Johnson, 23, said his license plate might have tipped off the Clay County sheriff’s deputy who pulled him over Friday after he left Coach’s Sports Pub in Moorhead.