That be the best way to repel boarders!

Psst! Avast there! It be too late to alter course, mateys. And there be plundering pirates lurkin’ in ev’ry cove, waitin’ to board. Sit closer together and keep your ruddy hands in board. That be the best way to repel boarders. And mark well me words, mateys: Dead men tell no tales! Evidently some trackback-spamming […]

Psst! Avast there! It be too late to alter course, mateys. And there be plundering pirates lurkin’ in ev’ry cove, waitin’ to board. Sit closer together and keep your ruddy hands in board. That be the best way to repel boarders. And mark well me words, mateys: Dead men tell no tales!

Evidently some trackback-spamming bastards attacked us (and by us I mean my tribe, those hosted here at the m’sphere). My good buddy, Brandon, the host-with-the-most, did battle against the forces of darkness through the night and finally disabled trackbacks for our site (who needs fuckin’ trackbacks anyway, sez I).

The result of all this is that last night and this morning, all of the sites I host were inaccessible for some time. We’re back on line now, thanks to Brandon’s efforts.

And there was much rejoicing.

Comment Freaky Styley

I just found a trick at LMT to make author comments show up differently than comments from the peanut gallery. I tried this out yesterday in Hiromi’s blog (which worked out pretty well) so today I added it to my blog. Still tuning but I think it’s pretty cool, it make it clear which comments […]

I just found a trick at LMT to make author comments show up differently than comments from the peanut gallery.

I tried this out yesterday in Hiromi’s blog (which worked out pretty well) so today I added it to my blog.

Still tuning but I think it’s pretty cool, it make it clear which comments are author replies; not that useful here but really useful for Hiromi, who is the queen of comments. I’m still tweaking around with her comments over there to get the best display but I’m likin’ the way it works out.

(This is what I do when I’m sick – that cold I was fighting all last week finally won, and I feel like crap. Which I just typo’d as ‘feel like carp’, which may be how I feel, like a fuckin’ carp.)

Personal Pages, Profanity

Well now. I’ve been upgraded – or downgraded – or degraded. Or just, you know, graded. Feels like that, or maybe that’s more grated, and it feels like that as well. Secure Computing, the motherfuckers who sell STOOPIDfilter to repressive countries and companies, agreed that I wasn’t Pornography, sex. Evidently I’m Personal Pages, Profanity, with […]

Well now. I’ve been upgraded – or downgraded – or degraded. Or just, you know, graded. Feels like that, or maybe that’s more grated, and it feels like that as well.

Secure Computing, the motherfuckers who sell STOOPIDfilter to repressive countries and companies, agreed that I wasn’t Pornography, sex.

Evidently I’m Personal Pages, Profanity, with a side of Personal, Mature.

Well, fuck yeah. That’s me. The Moronosphere, ProfanityBlog.

Because we’re all about the effword here.

Maybe it’s mature that bothers me more. Who you callin’ fuckin’ mature? We ain’t got no fuckin’ maturity here. Not a sausage. Not a drop. Not a fuckin’ cc, baby.

I guess the point is that the people at Secure Computing listen if we complain, but they still do the wrong thing and slap a fucking label on something they don’t get.

I’ll have to see if we’re still banned in the fuckin’ UAE. They’re not allowed pornography, let’s see if they’re allowed to read the effword.

black bars over our eyes

I finally figured out why some of my friends can’t get to my site from their places of employment, and why my friend Arvind, the brilliant young developer of MtBlogRoll, can’t get to my site at all from the United Arab Emirates. Moronosphere.com is on the SmartFilter blacklist. I’m listed as a “Pornography” site and […]

I finally figured out why some of my friends can’t get to my site from their places of employment, and why my friend Arvind, the brilliant young developer of MtBlogRoll, can’t get to my site at all from the United Arab Emirates.

Moronosphere.com is on the SmartFilter blacklist. I’m listed as a “Pornography” site and a “Sex” site; which means that any company or nation that’s decided to babysit users like nursery-school kids find we’re too evil for tender little eyes. This includes all the sites I host under moronosphere.com, but not sites with their own domains.

You can read about the utter stupidity that is SmartFilter on BoingBoing, who are likewise blocked.

You can check your own sites here:

securecomputing.com/sfwhere/index.cfm

I’m not yet sure if there’s any way to get that listing corrected. I’m working on it and I’ll post here if I find out.

Sex and Candy

Songs about Sex and Candy. To suit a sweet new look for the Moronosphere:      Hangin’ round downtown by myself      And I had too much caffeine      And I was thinkin’ ’bout myself      And then there she was      In double platform suede      Yeah there she was      Like disco lemonade    […]

Songs about Sex and Candy. To suit a sweet new look for the Moronosphere:



     Hangin’ round downtown by myself
     And I had too much caffeine
     And I was thinkin’ ’bout myself
     And then there she was
     In double platform suede
     Yeah there she was
     Like disco lemonade
     I smell sex and candy here

Or we could try:



     The Candy Man can
     ‘Cause he mixes it with love
     And makes the world taste good

Or a little different feel:



     Candy asked me if she died
     if I could go on
     of course I said I couldn’t
     and of course we knew that’s wrong
     but candy, I said, candy no you can’t do that to me
     because you love me way too much
     for you to ever leave

Or we could add a little chili pepper spice:



     Step into a heaven
     Where I keep it on the soulside
     Girl please me
     Be my soul bride
     Every woman
     Has a piece of Aphrodite
     Copulate to create
     A state of sexual light
     Kissing her virginity
     My affinity
     I mingle with the gods
     I mingle with devinity

     Blood sugar baby
     She’s magik
     Sex magik sex magik

And we dare not forget:



     When you need a friend through thick and thin
     Don’t look to those above you.
     When you’re down and out, ain’t no doubt
     Nobody wants you.

     But you’re rock candy baby
     Hard, sweet and sticky.
     Rock candy baby
     Hard, sweet and sticky.

Sugar and Sex. Celebrate the the rites of love, my friends. Feed your love on sugar candy, and fuck him/her half to death.

In your eyes I see a thousand lives, where do you come from?

In your eyes I see a thousand lives, Where do you come from, Where do you belong.      –Dave Davies, Where Do You Come From I look at my logs all the time – because I’m that kinds of guy, part OCD, part detective, part complete geek – who likes to see the man behind […]

In your eyes I see a thousand lives,
Where do you come from,
Where do you belong.

     –Dave Davies, Where Do You Come From

I look at my logs all the time – because I’m that kinds of guy, part OCD, part detective, part complete geek – who likes to see the man behind the curtain. The kinds of guy who needs to know how it all works.

Anyone with a sitemeter knows what I’m talkin’ about, though I also have urchin installed on the server, and run a couple other web-based counters and have in the past used tools like mint to track hits.

But whatever you look at, whatever slice and dice of the data you have, it’s still the same shit, who’s visiting, when, from where, and how did they get here?

There are several useful, interesting or amusing data points to be had from looking at web server logs.

The one that’s usually good for the most mirth is the google search string (and I use the term in the generic sense because we could be talking about hits from yahoo or msn or aolsearch or any one of a hundred other search pages). People search on the silliest, most amazing things, and someone, somewhere has to be collecting it all and will produce novels or art or poetry all based on such things. I look at my log now and see ‘wrist and had tattoos’, ‘dorothy parker’, ‘dirty stories’, ‘Everything up ’til the killing will be a gas’, and ‘pyro junkies’. And that’s just one sitemeter page. This can make me giggle any day.

But there are other things that are useful. I get to know certain hits by location. I know who’s likely to be getting me from illinois, from eugene oregon. A few from Austin. Certain key spots in Florida. Vancouver. A couple in town here, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, San Jose. Key users in europe. Couple buddies in New Mexico and Arizona.

I know who these are by the ISP and the location (not always the location you’d expect, my home IP shows up as coming from a totally different end of silicon valley than I actually live in, something about how the ISP has things configured). I know by (sometimes) browser type, OS. For most of my friends, I sorta know when you’ve visited. I know partly because you’re the ones who hit without a reference from a search engine, or sometimes because you show as referred from your own blog (clicking from your blogrolls).

The ones that I ponder over though, and the reason for this post, are the ones I see regularly whom I don’t know. I puzzle over certain entities. Someone who hits me from Sunnyvale CA with an ISP listed as inktomi.com. No idea who you are, but I see you regularly. Hits from San Francisco, or from San Jose. You’re not in my mental list of readers I know. Readers in New Zealand. Readers in Texas who are not the usual gang of blogger-freinds (People from Dallas or from College Station). Kent, Washington. Buffalo, New York. Blackpool, Lancaster (I want to say, how’s that count of holes coming, but no that’s blackburn).

It’s funny because I feel like I should know who’s reading. I get a lot of hits from some of the strangest places, google and other blogs I’m bloggrolled on, places where someone will link to some entry like my one on jessie combs, or on driving my jeep in a kilt, or my old ‘what’s fifty-six’ entry. Those I understand though. It’s the ones who are clearly regular readers, yet unknown that always makes me wonder.

A Man Called Elvis

I’m talkin bout the man, I’m talkin bout the man A man called Elvis U oughta get 2 know him U oughta try him (stolen from Prince with no apology whatsoever) I finally re-created my about me page. When I did my page redesign (with added piracy, thanks to Doxy), I forgot about it and […]

I’m talkin bout the man, I’m talkin bout the man
A man called Elvis
U oughta get 2 know him
U oughta try him

(stolen from Prince with no apology whatsoever)

I finally re-created my about me page. When I did my page redesign (with added piracy, thanks to Doxy), I forgot about it and never got around to porting the template over.

The text is mostly from a short bio I sent the j-con organizers when I got picked to be on a panel (alas, I didn’t actually make it to j-con, that’s how my year’s been, plans made and broken a million times). But I liked what I sent them so it lives on.

Anyway, it’s linked from the cartoon elvis pic on the left and the about karl elvis section on the right, and includes a bonus kilted-elvis picture (though not a NHT picture).

domain monkeys

I’m monkeying with my domains – changing dns from zoneedit to a local nameserver and so forth – so if you have any trouble getting to any of the moronosphere.com blogs (or editiong your own blog if you’re one of the bloggers I host), it should be temporary. Why? Just because I can. Ok, I […]

I’m monkeying with my domains – changing dns from zoneedit to a local nameserver and so forth – so if you have any trouble getting to any of the moronosphere.com blogs (or editiong your own blog if you’re one of the bloggers I host), it should be temporary.

Why? Just because I can.


Ok, I got all my domains (well, almost all my domains) migrated to my local dns servers from zoneedit. Zoneedit has some nice features (The ability to do mail forwards easily), but I got tired of getting bills for zones I didn’t have. I’m now using local nameservers hosted by the good folks at ThePlanet

I also registered several variants on my domain name, moronosphere.com – .net, .org, etc. Why not, I figured. They’re not all live yet, but eventually they’ll all forward to here, at least until I have reason to maintain more than one site. I’m finding the whole domain hosting thing very entertaining; I think something like Globe of Frogs and five minutes, a few clicks, and a small payment, it’s GlobeofFrogs.com, just like that.

Of course then I think, why’d I register that. But whattaya gonna do, sometimes you just can’t help it. It’s kind of a caps for sale thing. You Monkeys You!