straight dope

A week or so ago i posted a meme for which I’d been tagged.

Read that here.

As I said, seven were true, one was not.

Here you go:

1 (feet diff. sizes)- true. But at least they’re not both left feet.

3 (mysterious half sister) – true. I need to do an entry on this whole tale someday. Mom, it turns out, was what you might call a wayward girl.

4 (enormous bong) – true. I should post a picture of this massive contraption. It’s from when I worked at Tower, and I used to bring home all manner of drug paraphernalia. It’s almost all gone now, but for some reason I can’t part with this thing, it’s too bizarre.

5 (celebrity encounters) – true. Heather later introduced herself to me (“Hi, I’m Heather”), as if I didn’t know that already.

6 (teenage girl/catholic church) – true. This is the one that seemed to get all the votes. I was a teenage boy at the time so it wasn’t quite as colorful as it sounded. Neither one of us was a catholic, and nether one of us was dressed as a schoolgirl.

7 (high on stolen weed) – true. The ‘rents were big stoners for a while there.

8 (cat claw) – true. When I was a kid, the pet door was in my bedroom. The cat came tearing into the house one morning (no idea what was chasing her), and went directly across my bed and across my face, leaving scars you can still see next to my eye. She left a little hunk of claw embedded in the wound, and since I never went to the doctor about it, it healed over leaving a tiny souvenir.

and the lie:

2 (bridesmaid blowjob) – true, but not for me. I was at the bar drinking with the husband (actually he was the fiancé I now recall), while my buddy (a drummer) went out to his truck with said bridemaid. This woman two years later said to me “I don’t like the way you hug, it’s too intimate”, which sort of shows where she drew the line on ‘intimate’.

The only one who got this right was Bitchy; she already rocks, but now she, you know, rocks even more.

Good tries, the rest of you people.