Worn Thin

It’s nearly midnight. I’m tired and should be sleeping, something, as usual, I’m not doing enough of.

Instead I’m working on a few things, cleaning up loose ends from my day. I’m scheduling training for a group of users (when did I become training guy? I suck at training), answering email, closing out tracking tickets for stuff I did the last couple days.

I’m doing this instead of sleeping, instead of writing. Either of which I’d like to be doing, but both of which elude me this evening.

I’m tired, in a way that isn’t just hard work tired, not enough sleep tired. I’m tired deep in the core of me, my heart, soul, whatever you want to call it. I’m worn thin.

I had a line in the header for this blog recently, in the field they call ‘description’ but in which I usually have song lyrics. The line was from an STP song, Big Empty:

     To much walkin’, shoes worn thin
     To much trippin’ and my souls worn thin

It captures how I feel these days, like something’s been shaved away. A protective layer, a shell, gone.

Tired. The word does not do justice. Yet it’s the only word I can think of. Sometimes english is so poor in descriptive words.